Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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so my dad had £20 on this shelf looking thing yesterday and the next morning he wakes me up and starts yelling that i give his 20 back. my mum is in the same room btw and wakes up and starts interrogating me too. the thing is i didn't steal the money. i think my mum blames me because i used to take money from them a long time ago (small amounts) but i stopped completely so i could regain my trust with them. normally when my dads money goes missing my mum gives it back out of her own money which makes me so guilty but also suspicious because i think my dad set the £20 there and is blaming my mum to get an extra £20 as well. this has really upset me and my mum said that i always was a thief and that i cannot be trusted + way more hurtful stuff. i'm so upset as i didn't steal anything. i'm confident my dad lied to get money out of my mum for his gambling habit. what should i do?
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Vexper
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#2
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I think you should speak to your mum and bring up that final point. Be completely honest and highlight things about this post like you used to but stopped because you wanted to regain their trust etc. If you didn't do it, then you didn't do it. Unless you can 'prove it' like you weren't in the house when it went missing etc then you can't do much other than rely on them believing you.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Vexper)
I think you should speak to your mum and bring up that final point.
my mum is a maniac. she is abusive and won't listen to me. she just said that she wished that i would die and that i disgust her i don't know what i did to get a crazy mother like her ugh. i've told her that i didn't steal anything but she does not believe me
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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he has also accused me of stealing countless times before. everytime i confront him he ignores me but i know that he does it on purpose
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Vexper
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(Original post by Anonymous)
my mum is a maniac. she is abusive and won't listen to me. she just said that she wished that i would die and that i disgust her i don't know what i did to get a crazy mother like her ugh. i've told her that i didn't steal anything but she does not believe me
How old are you? It doesn't sound like a healthy situation both in the short and long term. I'd start saving up to move out. You don't deserve to deal with that.
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Vexper)
How old are you? It doesn't sound like a healthy situation both in the short and long term. I'd start saving up to move out. You don't deserve to deal with that.
i'm 14 years old and i can't really save up as my parents don't give me money. they're in really bad debt. my dad bets away all his money on those race horses. he can't even pay the mortgage anymore. my mum has borrowed thousands of pounds from my friends parents and its so embarassing and makes me feel horrible and angry. everytime i confront my dad about the situation he just tells me that there are so many bills that he has to pay my school shoes are ripped and i feel so guilty about asking my parents for shoes as they both hate it when i ask for money. when i do so, my mum just shoves her bank balance into my face and starts crying. i haven't had a desk for 3 years to study on and i share a room with my parents and my two siblings. my mum doesn't make breakfast for me and i go into school feeling dizzy and extremely hungry. my mum also never bothered to teach me how to brush my teeth and make it a habit and i ended up with black stained teeth and was bullied throughout primary school. both my parents always tell me how they wish i was never born and that they wish they had someone like my cousin (she's perfect) as a daughter ... im so sick of my life
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Bio 7
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#7
If you wanted to get away completely you could look into what services are available for you to live elsewhere. If your parents are that bad it's not worth standing by them any longer than you have to.
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Cryoraptor
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
i'm 14 years old and i can't really save up as my parents don't give me money. they're in really bad debt. my dad bets away all his money on those race horses. he can't even pay the mortgage anymore. my mum has borrowed thousands of pounds from my friends parents and its so embarassing and makes me feel horrible and angry. everytime i confront my dad about the situation he just tells me that there are so many bills that he has to pay my school shoes are ripped and i feel so guilty about asking my parents for shoes as they both hate it when i ask for money. when i do so, my mum just shoves her bank balance into my face and starts crying. i haven't had a desk for 3 years to study on and i share a room with my parents and my two siblings. my mum doesn't make breakfast for me and i go into school feeling dizzy and extremely hungry. my mum also never bothered to teach me how to brush my teeth and make it a habit and i ended up with black stained teeth and was bullied throughout primary school. both my parents always tell me how they wish i was never born and that they wish they had someone like my cousin (she's perfect) as a daughter ... im so sick of my life
Not being funny, but if this isn't actually a troll/attention-seeking, you should get in contact with social services. That sounds terrible.

EDIT: I bring up the possibility that this is a troll/attention-seeking because one of the last posts is written in italics for some reason, which screams attention-seeking to me. Like I say, if this is actually going on, you definitely should contact social services or even tell your school about your situation. As you are a minor they have a legal responsibility to contact social services or even the police for you if you report your situation to them.
Last edited by Cryoraptor; 3 weeks ago
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Vexper
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
i'm 14 years old and i can't really save up as my parents don't give me money. they're in really bad debt. my dad bets away all his money on those race horses. he can't even pay the mortgage anymore. my mum has borrowed thousands of pounds from my friends parents and its so embarassing and makes me feel horrible and angry. everytime i confront my dad about the situation he just tells me that there are so many bills that he has to pay my school shoes are ripped and i feel so guilty about asking my parents for shoes as they both hate it when i ask for money. when i do so, my mum just shoves her bank balance into my face and starts crying. i haven't had a desk for 3 years to study on and i share a room with my parents and my two siblings. my mum doesn't make breakfast for me and i go into school feeling dizzy and extremely hungry. my mum also never bothered to teach me how to brush my teeth and make it a habit and i ended up with black stained teeth and was bullied throughout primary school. both my parents always tell me how they wish i was never born and that they wish they had someone like my cousin (she's perfect) as a daughter ... im so sick of my life
I think the best thing you can do right now is 3 things;

Volunteer - there's lots of organisations that will take someone who is 14. Some have limits, NHS for example only let you speak to patients if you're a certain age. I would advise this because A - it gets you out of the house away from your parents, B - you are getting way ahead of the game with your experience/CV which will help you get a job as fast as possible so you can start saving to move out, C - it will build your confidence overall.

Clubs/Societies - as above, gets you out of the house and can build your confidence. Depending what you pick you might gain valuable skills. This may cost money though, but usually after school clubs and stuff are free as far as I'm aware. You can ask your school for referrals to outside volunteering options or free clubs/societies too.

The final option, and I would say it's a bit more radical, but based on your situation it absolutely warrants it.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-you-can-do/report-abuse/

https://www.gov.uk/report-child-abuse ChildLine (for children and young people)

Telephone: 0800 1111 (free)

Seriously consider the above. You may love your parents deep down, but ultimately their actions can easily be seen as abuse. Your dad is depriving you of a childhood through gambling and if they're saying you shouldn't have been born... nobody at that age should ever have to hear that. There are people out there who will do SO much better for you.
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#10
(Original post by Cryoraptor)
Not being funny, but if this isn't actually a troll/attention-seeking, you should get in contact with social services. That sounds terrible.

EDIT: I bring up the possibility that this is a troll/attention-seeking because one of the last posts is written in italics for some reason, which screams attention-seeking to me. Like I say, if this is actually going on, you definitely should contact social services or even tell your school about your situation. As you are a minor they have a legal responsibility to contact social services or even the police for you if you report your situation to them.
it's not a troll and i dont know why its in italics sorry. i don't want to contact social services as i'm scared that they're abusive and that they won't care for me. i see all these stories on the internet about abusive foster parents and tv shows that show life in care and i just don't want to do it. i guess i will try to ignore the situation for now
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TehZia19
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#11
Report 3 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
so my dad had £20 on this shelf looking thing yesterday and the next morning he wakes me up and starts yelling that i give his 20 back. my mum is in the same room btw and wakes up and starts interrogating me too. the thing is i didn't steal the money. i think my mum blames me because i used to take money from them a long time ago (small amounts) but i stopped completely so i could regain my trust with them. normally when my dads money goes missing my mum gives it back out of her own money which makes me so guilty but also suspicious because i think my dad set the £20 there and is blaming my mum to get an extra £20 as well. this has really upset me and my mum said that i always was a thief and that i cannot be trusted + way more hurtful stuff. i'm so upset as i didn't steal anything. i'm confident my dad lied to get money out of my mum for his gambling habit. what should i do?
Before you take any rash action, take a moment to think through it with a rational mind. People often say things that they don't mean when they're frustrated or angry. I'm not defending them and saying that their behavior towards you is right, because it's not, but you need to take into perspective that your parents, as you mentioned, are going through a serious financial crisis and so anything related to money can trigger them at this point. Or are they always this toxic and unaffectionate? If that's the case then you need to look for some external support.

You said that you have two more siblings that live with you, have you asked them if they have seen the £20 note?

Some schools offer free lunch meals to students whose parents have a low income, ask them if you can apply for it.
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Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#12
(Original post by Vexper)
I think the best thing you can do right now is 3 things;

Volunteer - there's lots of organisations that will take someone who is 14. Some have limits, NHS for example only let you speak to patients if you're a certain age. I would advise this because A - it gets you out of the house away from your parents, B - you are getting way ahead of the game with your experience/CV which will help you get a job as fast as possible so you can start saving to move out, C - it will build your confidence overall.

Clubs/Societies - as above, gets you out of the house and can build your confidence. Depending what you pick you might gain valuable skills. This may cost money though, but usually after school clubs and stuff are free as far as I'm aware. You can ask your school for referrals to outside volunteering options or free clubs/societies too.

The final option, and I would say it's a bit more radical, but based on your situation it absolutely warrants it.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-you-can-do/report-abuse/

https://www.gov.uk/report-child-abuse ChildLine (for children and young people)

Telephone: 0800 1111 (free)

Seriously consider the above. You may love your parents deep down, but ultimately their actions can easily be seen as abuse. Your dad is depriving you of a childhood through gambling and if they're saying you shouldn't have been born... nobody at that age should ever have to hear that. There are people out there who will do SO much better for you.
i don't know about the jobs and clubs since i have really bad self esteem and social anxiety, i'm afraid of speaking to people so it just sounds like a nightmare...
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Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by TehZia19)
Before you take any rash action, take a moment to think through it with a rational mind. People often say things that they don't mean when they're frustrated or angry. I'm not defending them and saying that their behavior towards you is right, because it's not, but you need to take into perspective that your parents, as you mentioned, are going through a serious financial crisis and so anything related to money can trigger them at this point. Or are they always this toxic and unaffectionate? If that's the case then you need to look for some external support.

You said that you have two more siblings that live with you, have you asked them if they have seen the £20 note?

Some schools offer free lunch meals to students whose parents have a low income, ask them if you can apply for it.
i agree with what you said and thats why i dont want to get social services or anyone involved. i have a 5 year old brother and a 2 year old sister and they cant even reach the shelf. my 5 year old brother cant even speak properly lol. my parents aren't toxic all the time but they usually are. i was talking about breakfast by the way and yes i have free school lunches. on the weekends my mum doesn't even cook for me and i just eat whatevers left (which is usually out of date) ..
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Bio 7
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#14
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#14
(Original post by TehZia19)
Before you take any rash action, take a moment to think through it with a rational mind. People often say things that they don't mean when they're frustrated or angry. I'm not defending them and saying that their behavior towards you is right, because it's not, but you need to take into perspective that your parents, as you mentioned, are going through a serious financial crisis and so anything related to money can trigger them at this point. Or are they always this toxic and unaffectionate? If that's the case then you need to look for some external support.

You said that you have two more siblings that live with you, have you asked them if they have seen the £20 note?

Some schools offer free lunch meals to students whose parents have a low income, ask them if you can apply for it.
If they are still gambling money away while in that much debt then they aren’t doing anything to help their situation. If this has been going on for years, which OP has said, then there is no excuse for their behaviour.

I would get away from them as quickly as possible.
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Anonymous #1
#15
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#15
(Original post by Bio 7)
If they are still gambling money away while in that much debt then they aren’t doing anything to help their situation. If this has been going on for years, which OP has said, then there is no excuse for their behaviour.

I would get away from them as quickly as possible.
once i asked my dad why he gambles and he kept on saying its just a few pounds and i enjoy it which is completely untrue. i was waiting for an appointment once and he opened his banking up and i saw that he spent £120+ on a betting company and thats only what i saw from his most recent transaction so i imagine he spends £500 at least per month. he just ignores what i tell him and says that he has nothing to lose and that he has to gamble to win so he can get out of debt. i hate him so much he comes home thinking he has authority over me when he doesn't do anything to contribute to my family. thank god my mum at least buys simple necessities for me or my dad wouldn't buy anything for me. and i can't really get away as i feel really trapped
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Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#16
when my dad comes home i'm going to try to explain and confront him about everything. he will probably beat me but i don't care anymore
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Cryoraptor
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#17
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#17
You can't ignore your situation. You are clearly in a lot of distress about your parents' behaviour and it's not acceptable. I appreciate the concern about abusive foster carers and it is a very real thing, but it's a case of either taking the chance of ending up in one of those which you probably won't, or staying in the care of your abusive parents, in which case you have a 100% chance of being abused.

I can't beg you enough to contact social services or tell your school about what's going on. Things will only get worse if you don't take action.
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Muttley79
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
when my dad comes home i'm going to try to explain and confront him about everything. he will probably beat me but i don't care anymore
Please phone childLine for advice

https://www.childline.org.uk/get-sup...ing-childline/
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Vexper
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
when my dad comes home i'm going to try to explain and confront him about everything. he will probably beat me but i don't care anymore
Yeah that might not be the best idea lol. At least make sure others are home and judge the mood. Are your neighbours or relatives outside of your home aware of any of this behaivour by the way?
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Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#20
(Original post by Vexper)
Yeah that might not be the best idea lol. At least make sure others are home and judge the mood. Are your neighbours or relatives outside of your home aware of any of this behaivour by the way?
no. my parents act like we are a perfect family to all the neighbours. and my parents don't have friends since they're psychopaths
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