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Flatmates 2nd year university help

So I’m in my first year of University and even though I’m kinda shy, I really like my flatmates. They’re all loud and outgoing completely different to me but they’re so nice and easy to talk to, I’m a bit quiet around them and sometimes hide in my room when I hear too many people in the communal area (I get very anxious in big groups) but they get it and are super chill.
So for the second year I need to find some people to share a house with... pretty soon actually. And I don’t know what to do! Some people in my course asked if I want to share a house with them, which is great but I’m kinda split... They’re really nice and awesome people, we have quite a lot in common too with interests and stuff... but I’ll really miss my current flatmates so much! We’ve got so many inside jokes and stuff, and all get along like a little family as cheesy as it sounds. Thing is I don’t know what their plans are for the second year, they might have plans to house share with other people or maybe they want to just stick to our current flatmates? I kinda don’t want to ask, I dunno. I’m still kinda shy around them and don’t want to sound desperate like “we’re you guys planning on letting me join you in a house next year?” Like nooooo I’m too awkward to ask that. And I wouldn’t be able to phrase it correctly, I suck at words... So do I just wait for them to ask the question like do “do you maybe want to join us in sharing a house next year?” But THEN WHAT? The people in my course who I know would definitely want me as a housemate cause they’ve already brought up the question, or my flatmates who I really like and would miss a lot since I don’t see them on my course every day...? I just don’t know... I guess it’ll be nice to have people around who are more similar to me, is probably be less shy and more confident to be my geeky self a bit more. But I actually love my flatmates so much, they’ve been so nice and especially freshers, when I went to my first clubbing experience my flatmates were the best. Always asking if I’m feeling ok and if I’m comfortable... and if I ever looked like I was about to get separated in the crowd they would just grab my hand and make sure I wasn’t separated. I’ve always been awkward and shy but I’ve found it really easy to talk to these guys they’re just awesome. But at the same time they’re all really outgoing, confident and loud so naturally they get along more with each other than me, and can laugh together joking around more(something I’m still too shy to do...). Some people in my flat especially have gotten really close and they’re all really comfortable talking to each other so maybe they’ll want to move into a house together anyway. I just don’t know. If I ask about it they might feel uncomfortable and just feel like they HAVE to let me join a house with them out of politeness... So I kinda don’t want to ask and would rather wait for them to bring it up. I’d like to be with people who want me around, so technically these people on my course would be perfect since they asked me... But my flatmates! I’m kinda shy around them but that’s just who I am, I’ve actually been getting more and more confident around them and I’m proud of myself for that... I just really enjoy living with these people, and even though I really like these people on my course and talk to them quite a lot for me considering I’ve always been so shy, I just don’t know how I would enjoy living with them? But it would be a fun experience living with new people I guess... But I’d miss living with my current flatmates and what if they ask me to share a house with them? I don’t know what I would say...

Reply 1

Student Roost - Edinburgh

Hi,

It sounds like this is something that's really weighing on your mind, but there's no reason to worry yourself too much! Students do need to find accommodation very early in the year, which can be difficult for first years, but it sounds like you have 2 great groups of friends already, which is fantastic!

Is there a member of your current flat that you feel particularly comfortable speaking to? Perhaps you could ask them if they've thought about where they'll be living next year and if there are any plans in the works. You could mention that your coursemates have already approached you to ask if you'd like to live with them, but that you'd like to see what your current flatmates are doing first - that way there's no pressure on anyone.

No matter who you end up living with, it sounds like all your friends are really lovely and you'll have a fun and supportive flat next year. I'm sure you'll keep in touch with the other group too :smile:

By the way - if you have any questions about accommodation for next year, don't hesitate to ask! There's lots of options out there :biggrin:

Reply 2

Cheesybread

I'd ask your flatmates first. The only problem with coursemates is that you see them during the day, and you'll go out with them, so if you live with them you'll spend 24 hours with them which is a lot for anyone.

Reply 3

doodle_333

I lived with a coursemates and while they were lovely I agree with the guy above. It meant i was always taking the work home as they would want to talk about essays and stuff when I wanted to chill. I think it's nicer to have different groups so you can get distance and stuff. Decide who you prefer and if it's your housemates just ask 'have you guys made any plans for next year's accommodation yet'. You don't need to directly ask, if you say that you'll find out what they're thinking.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by doodle_333

Yeah I've just sorted it and I think I'm gonna share a house with some of my flatmates! We've been looking for houses together and everything so it should be fun. You're right, as much as it would be awesome to live with these people on my course, I will be seeing them constantly at uni as well as at home... Which might be a bit too much, not enough distance. And I'd miss my flatmates since they're all in different courses. I'm kinda worried since I'm still very shy around my flatmates, and they all laugh together and have fun more than me and I don't want to just be that one person who isn't part of the group as much as the others... But I love them all, they're so nice! I'd love to get closer to them so living in a house together would be a good opportunity, plus its the flatmates I get on with the most, and living with fewer people would make it easier for me... The fact they invited me as one of the people they want to live with in the house means a lot to me! I may be shy but I've been talking to this specific group in the flat more now and I'm getting a bit more confident, still not as confident as them, but its getting there! And they always invite me places with them and are really nice to me, and I'm already used to living with them so I think living with them in the second year is a good idea.