This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Does anyone else just feel like an outcast/social reject?

I'm always the quiet guy in the corner; mainly because I hate the way I look, but I don't want to attempt to change them due to my social position because I'd just be jeered at. If I do something vaguely small, like put a bit of gel in my hair, then I either:

a) Seemingly get no source of recognition and I just think "What's the point"

or

b) I get mocked and ridiculed and so I think "What's the point"

Is there any way to get myself out of this rut, any advice? I'm SURE that if a girl got to know me, and actually, seriously knew me as a person, then I'd be more "in there"... it's just everyone's so superficial and primitive subconsciously that they automatically take looks into account first. :frown:

Reply 1

rummang

1

In reply to your thread title, no.

Reply 2

hannah_dru

2

I used to. It sounds like you need a self confidence boost.

You don't need other people's opinions to make yourself look and feel good. Do what's right for you.

Reply 3

蘋果

9

Don't worry about it. I feel it too from time to time =].

Like everyone's said, you've got a brand new start when you go into Uni.

yes i feel it to

not very helpful replys!
in response, its just a case of having more self confidence, and thinking to yourself 'so what'. i'm sure people will like you for who you are!

Reply 6

greenwaytph

10

yeh I feel the same. I used to be very close friends with people from my school and then all of a sudden they stopped inviting me out and they wont say why. luckily I dont get bullied though and they talk in schol, I just have no social life

Reply 7

baedalores

6

I do, i act quite diffrently from the people all around me
No matter, its cool to be a reject =D

Reply 8

ifyouwannaberalphslover

7

i know a guy who was like you, he is a very good friend of mine.

he used to be quite 'nerdy' and looked it too

my best advice is to do what he did.

if you are sure you want to change, then go for it. but don't do it slowly and in small steps like you described as being troublesome above.

just go for it!

go shopping with a good girl friend, and get a completly new wardrobe and get an expensive haircut (they will advise you on the best way to style it from then on).

OF COURSE people will mock you at first (school sucks, it's a fact), but trust me on this, inside they won't be mocking you. they will be jealous that someone had the guts and determination to change, when they know they could never do it. they will also feel annoyed because they know they are going to have to stop treating you like 'that boy in the corner'

but clothes and hair, it's nothing.

the MOST IMPORTANT thing, is the way you carry yourself. carry yourself with pride and utmost dignity, let the remarks bounce off you - they won't last long. just have confidence. have confidence in your 'new self'.

i reckon you can do it. you had the guts to post about it here.

they will also be pissed that they have a new contender when it comes to the girls :smile:

Reply 9

username203055

7

If it all stems from the way you look and insecurity resulting from that I'm afraid you'll probably just have to take the plunge and change your appearance (hairstyle, clothes etc - maybe go to the gym if you already don't).

Whilst the people that ridicule you now might continue to do so, when you meet new people (going to college/uni/job) your new confidence from changing your image will allow you to be yourself (not shy I guess you're trying to say) and make new friends...

Reply 10

baedalores

6

greenwaytph

yeh I feel the same. I used to be very close friends with people from my school and then all of a sudden they stopped inviting me out and they wont say why. luckily I dont get bullied though and they talk in schol, I just have no social life

i don't have a social life too, gets quite boring at times...

Reply 11

LearningMath

14

hodgey90

not very helpful replys!
in response, its just a case of having more self confidence, and thinking to yourself 'so what'. i'm sure people will like you for who you are!

Replies

If your really bothered what people think of you, why dont you try and 'fit in', join a sports club you know they go to or something. If you dont want to change, and they dont like you... you're kinda screwed! :smile:

Reply 12

llys

17

You'll have to learn to ignore what people think of you and to just do your own thing. People will also respect you more if you do that than if you try to imitate them and fail.

First step: like yourself (so cliche but true) :smile:

Reply 13

ASASASASASASASASASASASASA

Listen to some fall out boy ok and you might feel less of an outcast

Reply 14

Tipitman

9

Social rejects on TSR!!! You have seen some on the grades on here, I'm pretty sure some on here are in the same boat.

Reply 15

hannah_dru

2

LearningMath

If you dont want to change, and they dont like you... you're kinda screwed! :smile:

Not really. You just hold your head up high and don't give a ****.

Reply 16

Marsha2112

15

Bloody YES.
I was new this year 10, since just WALKING into the room I have been ignored by the majority, or just laughed at/weird frowns if I say anything. I mean ANYTHING.
I found this so unfair because there wasn't a reason; I mean, the 'popular' people are extremely weird themselves, for example 1 girl spent a whole lesson going 'I'm immortal', and drops her retainer on the floor then puts it in her mouth again. Yet it's me who's the 'weirdo'. None of them actually KNOW me, and I don't look that bad - normal face, not a knee-length skirt. Just crap hair, but I can't help it..
It's funny, because normally I'm an extrovert, but I can totally sympathise with your 'why bother' attitude. (Although I do bother, but it still gets me nowhere).
I made friends with the other social outcasts, and the yr 10 and 11 'emo' crew, but they only really think of me as an 'aquantance'. The only social events I got invited to was for the German Exchange.

Can't wait till 6th form though, 30 n00bs to make friends with :biggrin:

Reply 17

LearningMath

14

hannah_dru

Not really. You just hold your head up high and don't give a ****.

But he does give a ****, or why post here :confused:

Reply 18

greenwaytph

10

Anonymous

I'm always the quiet guy in the corner; mainly because I hate the way I look, but I don't want to attempt to change them due to my social position because I'd just be jeered at. If I do something vaguely small, like put a bit of gel in my hair, then I either:

a) Seemingly get no source of recognition and I just think "What's the point"

or

b) I get mocked and ridiculed and so I think "What's the point"

Is there any way to get myself out of this rut, any advice? I'm SURE that if a girl got to know me, and actually, seriously knew me as a person, then I'd be more "in there"... it's just everyone's so superficial and primitive subconsciously that they automatically take looks into account first. :frown:

What you have to do is, when going back to school/college/uni after the holidays, sit by people in class and talk to them and make them laugh. Dont make them laugh by p[oking fun at other people though. Also, as it is during the holidays, people wont see you for ages so now is your time to get your look right. If you are a bit overweight, tone up. if you smell, get in some new effective deodorants. Have a look through some internet pages or magazines at hair styles you like of celebrities that have vaguely similar hair to yours such as long, short or curly. (sounds a bit gay I know lol) Once you have a hair style you like, go to the hair dressers and get it done and then when you go back, people wont mock you as they have not seen you in ages.

It sounds like you are lacking confidence though so as I said, next time, sit next to someone and chat and make them laugh. Engage in conversations. Dont come on too strong though because you will be seen as clingy and desperate.

This is my plan anyway for when I go back in spetember lol. Best of luck man! :yep: