Friends

Well then....this is sad,at least your box will fit me though since I’m literally 5 feet tall🤪
So you’re saying you just found this box on the floor and thought it would be good to use as a house,interesting.
Why were the poor cats disowned too though😢
My husband and kids will definitely think something has gone on if he saw that I looked and stank like absolute poo.
I’ll make you some food since I’m so nice and so we don’t starve what dish would you like?🤔
But I’m not going to lie,the sound of eating rat and cat food makes my mouth water,it just truly sounds amazing.
Can you tell me what they taste like?
If I stab you though,I’ll be in jail forever and then my husband would 100% kill me AND your cats.
I- what’s a SPEC the only type of specs I know of are glasses🤓
Wait hold up,do you game?🙂
Is that what you do late at night?🙂🙂
I want to be informed about these activities so I have the right outfit for the occasion
I don’t want to chase after rats in the sewers while wearing a dress.

Lol I'm very short too - like 5 foot 2. Not the best thing when at my age as a guy you're expected to be about 5 foot 8. I don't know what kind of horrible human being would abandon cats and leave them for dead, but at least they have a good home now. Just bring some deodorant or perfume and I'm sure you'll smell fine. As for a dish - surprise me and make YOUR favourite meal. Though as you said, it could never compare to sewer rats and cat food. I don't even think I can describe their tastes to you because they're unparalleled in flavour and simply transcendent. I have a solution to the stabbing problem - just don't stab me. I promise I will do you no wrongs.
Specs are specifications, so the hardware within your PC that allow it to perform at a certain level. Yes, I do game, and I'm hoping to purchase some better PC components soon. I was just playing with my friends before writing this message, actually, and now I'm coming off and going to browse Instagram or something for a couple of hours lol.
Oh, and I'm sure you'd look and act fine in any outfit you choose. It'll get so dirty within a couple of days you won't be able to recognise it anyway. And in a couple of weeks, it'll be so torn up it won't matter what you decided to wear.

You can join the short people club
We’ll welcome you and your cats😌
Yes indeed,your cats are in a great home now,a very nice box home. That seems so safe for them.
If I bring deodorant or perfume then my husband will question me,guess I’m just going to have to smell like poo for a while,who knows they might not even recognise me when I go back.
My favourite meal is pickle juice mixed with mayonnaise and then mixed with Aldi’s cheap beans.
You sure you want that?🙂
Wow I really do wonder why they don’t sell rats and cat food in expensive buffet’s now,they could make an absolute fortune and really expand their business.
Fine,I won’t stab you but we still have to stay 10m apart for both of ours safety.
I- this was sent like at 12am and then you were thinking of browsing through insta WTH how do you cope.
Wait do you wake up at like 3pm or something?😦
Yeah the end part of your message scared the crap out of me,I’m going to put on 10 layers of extra EXTRA large jumpers on with 20 layers of skirts,yes skirts,I don’t wear trousers at all now.

The Short People Club sounds like something I would be bullied for joining lmao, but thanks for the offer.
Yes, my cats are extremely safe and definitely do not get almost run over when chasing mice across the road every day, and they never stray from home, apart from when they do, which is all the time.
Would it really be such a bad thing if your family doesn't recognise you when you return? Everybody has thought of running away and changing their identity at least once, right? You can do that if you stay with me.
That meal sounds delicious ngl, but I imagine it would be even better with a garnish of crushed cat biscuits. I don't know why they don't sell them or sewer rats either, but I think it's because people have some petty stigma against them for being 'disgusting' and 'not safe for human consumption'. Just a bunch of pansies if you ask me, who will never be able to experience these street delicacies.
10m apart?! How big do you think my box is? You'll be lucky if we're able to socially distance and remain 2m away from one another. We will both be perfectly safe, I can assure you. Our short arms won't be able to reach far enough to stab the other person, and our stubby legs will take ages to even get close enough to do so, and in that time we can easily rest and dodge the attack.
I wanna know how you CAN'T cope going to bed at 2-3 And waking up 12 hours later. It's a great life, you should try it.
Sorry, I didn't mean to sound ominous in the last part of my previous post, I was merely stating the truth. I have some heavy-duty hazmat suits left behind by the workers who died in the nuclear radiation leak from the power plant a few blocks away - they should serve you for years without getting destroyed, so don't worry about having nothing to wear, even if they aren't very glamorous lol.

Yeah,the short people club consists of bullying those who are shorter than you but everyone there is under 5 feet anyway so you’ll be fine. Although since I’m a whole inch taller than you,then I might bully you,who knows.
Your cats are sounding more and more like me everyday,who wouldn’t risk their lives for a tasty mouse?
I- but I like my husband and kids😤
I’ve got 7 at the moment,my goal is for at least 15.
My husband also asked to come with me when I’m seeing you,we’ll be leaving the kids to die with the asian aunty
I told him about the whole situation and he even stated that he wouldn’t mind eating rats,he’s a pretty good cook and will bring spices.
I agree with you though,the extraordinary taste of the foods you’ve mentioned are truly unique,well I guess more for us then😎
You’ve got a point with our size,but what about my husband? He’s literally 5”8
Surely he can reach anywhere🤔
Wait hold up,hold up YOU GET 12 HOURS OF SLEEP???
WOT???
I literally get 8 wth
Hmmm okay then,as long as the clothes don’t have many drops of blood (I don’t want them to think I was the one who killed you of course)
But again,now that my husbands in the picture,you’ll need to find something for him too.
Good luck finding that x

hi

Hi 😁😁

Wait, I thought you were five feet, and I'm five foot 2, so isn't it I who should be bullying you, little one? Do you really have to bring your husband though? I've never met him, but he sounds like he'd put a damper on the entire event, and I also imagine he'd be very hostile towards me and wouldn't trust me for a second, which would make me feel very uncomfortable. The flavour food would be ruined with his cooking anyway - rats and cat food should only be eaten raw and unseasoned, lest their taste be spoiled.
That would solve the 5 foot 8 and the clothing problem, since I only have enough hazmat suits for you and I (and two mini ones for the cats lol). None of them are stained btw, the people who owned them died without them on, so they look like new (which might actually catch some eyes considering they cost £250 to buy).
Why wouldn't you get 12 hours sleep in the Summer holidays? Sleep is AMAZING, and since you have tons of free time, what better way to spend it than in bed, relaxing? Who would want to go to bed and then wake up early when they have the choice to get as much sleep as they want? I was so sleep-deprived when school, finally finished, this much sleep is literally a blessing. You should try it.

Yeah I lied,I’m 5 feet 3 so guess who gets to be the bully now....little one😌
And of course I have to bring him,I can’t say no to my husband now can I,that would be very rude of me. Why don’t you bring your wife too? You have a child so I’m guessing you have one.
He’s amazing don’t worry,he’s definitely a good laugh too, that is,once you get to know him and ‘break his shell’.
I don’t think you’ve tried rat seasoned,I’m sure it’ll be good,let’s go into this with an open mind.
You guys might actually become best friends too.
Oh and he plays tennis
Well I guess we’ll have to buy a hazmat for him too,I can’t have him dead as you can see.
Wait do I hear saving money?🤔
Do I hear cheapskate, just like me?🤔
12 hours of sleep sounds awful,my fear is that I won’t be spending time on this earth as I should have and well, I’ll sleep a lot once I’m dead anyway so I’ll try to stay awake for as long as possible.
I’ve also never done an all nighter lmao.
Try going to sleep at 10pm and waking up at 6,now THATS relaxing😎

Oof, looks like it's a another person who's taller than me.
I guess we can bring up your husband if you insist, but his seasoning better taste nice and you have to warn him that I won't go easy on him during tennis. I didn't know he was a snail though - couldn't breaking his shell kill him? And don't snails eat plants like yourself?
I don't have a wife btw. The kid was an accident and she left me for a 6 foot 9 chad. Feels bad man.
I am indeed a cheapskate lol, I can't bare spending my money unless it's for something essential, which I don't consider your husband to be. Sorry, but you're gonna have to buy him a hazmat suit out of your own pocket.
Life is a lot of effort, so isn't it nice just to be able to sleep in for ages sometime, go escape from it? I still think I spend a good portion of my day awake doing 'productive' things, like playing video games. And you've NEVER had an all-nighter?! You haven't lived! This is unacceptable, Rose. First night you spend here, we're staying up. Oh, and I don't think I'll ever go to bed at 10 nor wake up at 6 in my life, unless unique circumstances demand it. I'd legit rather die lmao.

Awww it’s okay,it’s only an inch anyway.
I’ll still bully you for it though😌
My husband is a pro when it comes to seasoning and he learnt tips and tricks through my dad,who’s a chef 👨*🍳
So if you don’t like his food,then it means war with both of them😟
You won’t have to go easy on him in tennis either,he’s got into many competitions before (which he won) and even attended a whole university known for sports🤯
I’ll be watching and judging the both of you,no I definitely cannot do a better job but also I’m not in the game soooo🤪.
I- he’s a Hose with a snails shell on top and he only lets people in if you break this shell,don’t worry though,we’ve already killed the snail that was living inside it🙂
So...you did the devils tango😱 You adventurous guy, I have 7 kids and I still haven’t done the devils tango,in fact I’ve never held hands with the opposite sex.
Ptfff 6foot 9 is nothing,she might have well stayed with you,there’s like NO difference in height from a 5”2 and 6”9 person.
Ahhh yes,you can also join the cheapskate club too then,I will happily welcome you.
We offer you the chance to get free pens from those universities who come to your school too,yes you will have to show your skill of acting; act like you give a crap to what they’re saying and you’ll get a free pen.
You don’t want him to hear that you called him inessential unless you want him to kill you with the tennis racket you know...he can be just as violent too.
He’ll pay for the hazmat suit,so that’s okay,see he’s truly amazing.
Yeah,life is a lot of effort but I enjoy the effort lmao idk why but it makes me feel so good knowing that I wasn’t in bed for ages.
I- yes,yes video games are very productive. You must gain oh so much knowledge from moving your fingers on the controller.
*whispers to herself* I’d rather play just dance
And of course I haven’t had an all nighter,how do you not end up falling asleep?
And what will we even do at night?🤔 I would just fall right asleep if we started watching YouTube videos and all of my friends go to sleep fast too,so instagram wouldn’t be an option.
I can’t believe it’s 11 omg
It’s past my bedtime already
Okay Goodnight.

I'm alright. A bit bored in lockdown but happy that it's finally almost over. Just taking the time to rest and relax and do what I want. How are you?

Great! I love to get bullied! It's my favourite thing, actually. In fact, I'll bully your husband if his food isn't good, I don't care about going to war with a chef lmao. What's he gonna do, cook me a nice meal and ask me to surrender? I am kind of scared facing him in tennis though, because I'm really not that good and only do it for fun. Plus, I've had no practice over lockdown, so please tell him to not be an absolute SWEAT, which is what he sounds like. Would love some feedback from you however - just do me a favour and say I'm better than him regardless of the match's outcome. Come to think of it though, that she'll of his might be his undoing, as he'll be too slow to move for the ball. I might end up just smacking it at him on purpose to watch it bounce of the shell and fly off the court, it'd be funny.
Yes, I've done the tango, but I'm pretty sure it was only because she was VERY drunk and I was the only dude there. Plus, she made me close my eyes, so it wasn't really that fun for me. The rest of the time I'm just as inexperienced as you when dealing with the opposite sex. And I'm not even gonna ask where you got your kids from lol, probably some weird plant crap. And yeah, idk why she would choose a 6 foot 9 guy over me, I didn't think I could even tell the difference between our heights when we were standing next to each other and I was wearing 5 sets of high-heels.
If your husband has enough money to buy the hazmat suit, why can't you just ask him for the stuff you need instead of going to me? You literally have a sugar-daddy right there.
I see you don't appreciate the fine art of video gaming, just like my Mum. Hmm, looks like I'm going to teach you how strenuous but rewarding it can really be. I'd love to play Just Dance too though, if I could dance, and if my legs were long enough to be able to reach all the buttons quickly enough.
We could do anything on our all-nighter - watch movies, tell spooky stories, play games, gossip (because apparently girls are into that), etc. And don't worry, we'll be consuming too many energy drinks to fall asleep before 8 AM! The fact that both you AND all your plant friends go to bed so early in the holidays makes me want to wretch. You're teenagers who are supposed to be living your best lives, and you're really gonna go to bed at 10? Perhaps this is just a girl thing, but me and the boys will stay up for ages, chatting and gaming.

Good! I love bullying people! Wow what a perfect match. how are you going to bully my husband though😌, he’s 6 inches taller than you.
Also my dad would kill you too
Yes he’s a SWEAT:
Sweet
Wonderful
Emotionally there for you
Aspiring
Tentacles 🐙
Hmmmmmm what do I get in return for saying you’re better then?🤔
Why don’t you use the ball to break his shell instead?
It’ll make him like you.
It’s actually the DEVILS tango not tango,everyone’s done the tango since they’ve had the tango fizzy drink.
I- I’m not even going to ask why the hell she made you do that,or worse,why you obliged.
I got my potato off the soil,the PC from a charity shop,peppa pig from a farm and well booby from ermmm
That’s all my kids for you^
Oh I didn’t you were so feminine,high heels 👠 are definitely the way to go if you want to make your feet hate you.
Wait- why you wearing high heels again?😳
My husband is my husband,a sugar daddy is someone you don’t really have any eMotIoNal aTtaChMenT to so NO he’s amazing as he is,I can never ask for more😌
Good,it means that me and your mum will get along very very well,we’ll be chatting absolute crap about you btw
I hate energy drinks so much omg
I’d rather have coffee.
Bold of you to assume that my friends are plants,they cold be your cats for all you know.
I- teenagers and best lives should never be in the same sentence lmao but I am living my best life....by waking up at 6am everyday😌
What do you boys chat about? How many energy drinks you’ve consumed?🤔
And how does your mum not kill you for doing this like everyday

As I've heard many women say, 'size doesn't matter' - I don't care if your husband is 6 inches taller than me, I can still break him emotionally, and maybe even physically if I duck under his jabs. Same with your Dad. Imagine being a chef lmao. Your husband also sounds very soppy, who would ever want to be there for their partner when they're having a rough time? Sounds like some pansy crap to me. And I'm not even gonna ask about the tentacles - if that's what you're into, then okaaaaaaaayyyyyyy. If you say I'm better than him though, I'll give you one of my cats to keep, since having two is very high-maintenance anyway. And I'm pretty squeamish, so I don't want to break your husband's shell, even more so because I don't want him being anything like me, he can't compare, he's not hard-core at all lol.
Woah, you're assuming too much here. All I said was that I've done the tango and had to have my eyes closed during it, not this 'Devil's Tango' you speak of. A good little Christian boy would never do such an unholy thing. No, my bubble gum child was adopted. Also, who said I obliged to do the tango? I was forced against my will.
Your kids sound like a bunch of weirdos and neeeeeeeerrrrrrrrds who get bullied at school, just saying. (I only get bullied for my height, so I'm still better than them.)
I was wearing high-heels to prove a point that I was basically the same height as the 6 foot 9 chad (he didn't even notice them and I got away with it), but I'm not really that effeminate. If you are, guys will call you 'gay' tbh, even if you aren't.
If you're asking me for king-sized beds and first-class plane tickets, does that make me your sugar Daddy? If so, i thought we had something more special that that Rose. No emotional attachment, really?
I'm used to my Mum chatting crap about me to others. I often here words like 'disappointment' and 'mistake' coming from her when she's chatting to her friends on the phone. You would be the same as the rest, I'm afraid.
I like energy drinks and coffee, so we can drink the latter instead on our all-nighter if you want.
If you were my cats' friends I would know, since I can telepathically communicate with them. Should have mentioned that earlier, really. And it doesn't concern me what your friends are, since they all sound like chumps.
I don't know how waking up at 6 is luxurious for you, but alright.
The stuff we chat about is not to be disclosed to outsiders, unfortunately - you'd have to join the all-nighter club if you wanted to hear. And we don't do all-nighters every day, just on special occasions. Most of the time we only stay up until like 2 or 3, so pretty early imo.

My eyes hurt omg,that’s such bold writing.
You know all those women who’ve said that size doesn’t matter to you?
Yeah they’re all lying,they would definitely chat crap to their friends if...yeah🙃.
I can’t wait to see this fight! I’ll be bringing my popcorn too btw.
Yes,tentacles are great,he can multitask in the kitchen,work,car,bed etc.
Hmmm I’ll definitely have to think about your offer,my mum might still kill me for bringing cats in since she’s supposedly allergic.
Well then,you just passed the chance of being friends with an amazing guy,he could have taught you tennis while me and your cats would be there to judge.
My dreams are now ruined
Well,why would you DO the tango hm?
You’re supposed to drink the tango remember.
Unless you actually do the tango,then ermmm😐
I guess we both have weird things we’re into then
They are nerds,because I don’t let them hang out with anyone or have any friends,instead I make them study,study,study like I do. And no all nighters too.
Except for Booby,she gets a lot of guys for some reason,she even told me she wanted to be a professional dancer who dances in front of many nice men and guess what! She even told me that the men LITERALLY throw cash at you,isn’t that great!!
No silly,of course you’re not my sugar daddy,you would have to have something in return for that,which won’t happen I’m afraid ,you’re just my money maker which is a lot better
Both of our mums chat crap about us ,yay I think the only difference is that my mum actually says it to my face Lmao.
Fine,maybe we can have this all nighter if you buy me really really expensive coffee.
I also need you to make me a visa btw😌
I wanna know what you guys talk about,tell me,tell me,tell me,tell me,tell me,tell me,tell me.

I don't get it. Why would they lie that size doesn't matter? I'm very insecure about my height, and if their reassurance was false, it'll make even even more sad.
If you want to see the fight, it's a 'pay per view' event, so that'll be £20 I'm afraid.
Tentacles do NOT sound great. You use those things in the bedroom? Uggghhhh.🤢
People who are allergic to cats are actually all lying. It's a conspiracy formed by the government and they are their agents, trying to eradicate cats from the country once and for all. Either that or they can't deal with the sniffles, so wet.
I don't need your husband to teach me tennis, my legendary coach already does that, his name is Danny, so you already know he's a beast.
Again, it wasn't by choice that I had to do the tango, I was forced into it by the woman without my consent.
You and your kids need to lighten up a hit, except Booby, she sounds like a pretty cool gal. I think I've been to one of those dancing places, but once again, I was told (this time by my Dad) to keep my eyes shut, and also not to tell Mum about it, which was a bit of a shame. Would've liked to see what all the commotion in there was about. Sounds like an honest and lucrative profession though, you should be very proud of her!
What's my role as your money-maker then? I'm only a kid living in a cardboard box, remember? And I get NOTHING in return? I'd rather be your sugar daddy tbh.
Oh no, my Mum and Dad also call me 'garbage' and a 'waste of space' to me, but like to divulge that information to their friends from time to time as well.
I'll buy you your dirty bean water, and then you can finally join the all-nighter club and hear about what we guys talk about when staying up. But the best I can do you is a McDonald's coffee to go, which may or may not give you third-degree burns if you spill it on yourself. After all, I am going to be spending a lot on that visa and those plane tickets. I'm literally going into debt for you, so you better be grateful for what you get.