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does anyone else not feel like they like their university friends?

I had a really good group in sixth form and I've kind of lost that at uni?
I have friends at uni but it feels like I have to hide a lot of myself from them, and I still don't feel comfortable going out with them, especially when drinking. They're lovely and great people, but I just feel lonely most of the time and even though I've known them for some time I just don't trust them.
I feel like I wouldn't miss any of them post graduation, whereas with my sixth-form friends I do/would.
Is anyone else in the same category as me?
Original post by Anonymous #1
I had a really good group in sixth form and I've kind of lost that at uni?
I have friends at uni but it feels like I have to hide a lot of myself from them, and I still don't feel comfortable going out with them, especially when drinking. They're lovely and great people, but I just feel lonely most of the time and even though I've known them for some time I just don't trust them.
I feel like I wouldn't miss any of them post graduation, whereas with my sixth-form friends I do/would.
Is anyone else in the same category as me?

HI there,

I felt like this a bit in first year and it was hard so I can understand where you are coming from!

Sometimes it takes a while to find your friends so try not to give up as sometimes friendships come when you least expect them too. I think I had gone to uni with the expectation that I would find my best friends straight away but sometimes this is just not the case! Try and remember that you had a lot longer to get to know friends from school or sixth form so it's normal for those friendships to feel a little bit different.

As for trying to make more friends, I would suggest if you haven't already to join a society if you haven't already. There is usually one for most things you could think of and they are great ways of meeting people who may a bit more like you as you have a common interest and it's also good to just get out of the house and do something you enjoy! There are usually socials too which are fun as well.

If you haven't already, then try and make friends with the people on your course as this can be a great way of meeting people and making new friends.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador
Original post by Anonymous #1
I had a really good group in sixth form and I've kind of lost that at uni?
I have friends at uni but it feels like I have to hide a lot of myself from them, and I still don't feel comfortable going out with them, especially when drinking. They're lovely and great people, but I just feel lonely most of the time and even though I've known them for some time I just don't trust them.
I feel like I wouldn't miss any of them post graduation, whereas with my sixth-form friends I do/would.
Is anyone else in the same category as me?

Anon,

I think people make their closest friends at different stages of their lives. For some people, it's their childhood friends, for others it's friends from secondary school and for some it's their uni friends. I think it's unusual for people to have really good childhood, secondary and university friends, unless they have stayed friends with the same people throughout their education. There's room to make new, good, and close friends, but I think most people have a time when they made their core group of friends so it's fine to feel closer to your sixth form pals.

You may become closer to your university friends as you continue to go through uni, but if not it's okay. Value, appreciate and invest in the friendships that matter to you, while also appreciating that friendships change. It may be in the future that the people who you don't feel so close to now are the people who you talk to and meet up the most with and who form a key part of your support network and that your relationship with your sixth form friends is still meaningful in the future but different. See how things go.

All the best,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous #1
I had a really good group in sixth form and I've kind of lost that at uni?
I have friends at uni but it feels like I have to hide a lot of myself from them, and I still don't feel comfortable going out with them, especially when drinking. They're lovely and great people, but I just feel lonely most of the time and even though I've known them for some time I just don't trust them.
I feel like I wouldn't miss any of them post graduation, whereas with my sixth-form friends I do/would.
Is anyone else in the same category as me?


I don't blame you!
Reply 4
I was the same, and I was right. I stay in touch with maybe three of them.
Sometimes they aren't friends, sometimes they are just colleagues you are friendly with. That's also fine though. It helps to recognise that so you don't put yourself out trying to live up to a standard which isn't there however.

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