Asian Not Getting into Medicine...
Scroll to see replies
Just because you’re surrounding by people who successfully got into medicine doesn’t mean they’ll succeed at medicine. They still need to pass exams, get into a foundation course and get onto and complete a speciality. They could flunk out or burn out from the pressure. I wish them all their success, yes, but I also wish you your success. I get the pressure. I’m not Asian but am 3rd generation British. Although my mum was born in England, she spent 15 years of her life in Africa. My options are also doctor, lawyer or engineer. Now I actually want to do medicine, but if you don’t then it’s ok! You’re parents sound so lovely and supportive, you can do something else. Find something you enjoy. As long as you’re happy and it’s a degree that you can use to support yourself then do it. It’s your life. Ignore the toxic culture and break the cycle 
Original post by naimamahmood15
Hi, I'm Pakistani but I understand how toxic brown/Asian community. Both my parents aren't doctors yet they want me to be a dr and the sad thing is brown/Asian parents seem to value status or reputation more than the actual well being of their child(ren). My parents haven't really forced the idea on me that much but I know they do still have that yearning for me to be a dr. From what you say your parents are open into letting you choose which is nice.
What I've learnt in lockdown is that you shouldn't compare yourself to other people and just focus on you. I understand the whole comparing issue but you also need to realise that you are trying your best and THATS what matters just focus on you and try to have a positive mindset even if its the small compliment you give yourself.A positive mindset leads a long way. Wish you the best in your studies and hope you choose a career you enjoy (:
What I've learnt in lockdown is that you shouldn't compare yourself to other people and just focus on you. I understand the whole comparing issue but you also need to realise that you are trying your best and THATS what matters just focus on you and try to have a positive mindset even if its the small compliment you give yourself.A positive mindset leads a long way. Wish you the best in your studies and hope you choose a career you enjoy (:
Thanks a lot, a positive mindset is key. I'll try looking at the positives and not compare myself to others. Good luck in your studies too
You dodged a bullet, I had an offer to do medicine but couldn't afford it as a graduate degree.
I taught myself to code and now I earn double what my friends who did medicine earn. Plus I have plenty of time to myself, I don't have to work during a pandemic with sick people, AND I'm not dealing with 100k+ debt.
The problem with old Asian parents is they believe medicine is the only decent career, buying a house is actually still a good investment and you need their approval for whoever you want to marry.
It's an outdated way of thinking, technology had advanced, there are way more careers out there that pay better and can be more exciting than medicine. Just go and do some research.
I taught myself to code and now I earn double what my friends who did medicine earn. Plus I have plenty of time to myself, I don't have to work during a pandemic with sick people, AND I'm not dealing with 100k+ debt.
The problem with old Asian parents is they believe medicine is the only decent career, buying a house is actually still a good investment and you need their approval for whoever you want to marry.
It's an outdated way of thinking, technology had advanced, there are way more careers out there that pay better and can be more exciting than medicine. Just go and do some research.
Original post by Anonymous
Its not perfect, but its not a toxic culture.
You are lucky to be part of a culture that actually encourages you towards real long term career.
Just look how many asians in the UK actually become doctors, and you will find they have a higher than average proportion of Doctors amongst other stable, high earning professions.
Yes it sucks that you didn't make it.
But seriously stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Your community gives you stable families often with both parents, encourages you and guides you towards success, also you often get prevented from drinking, smoking and other unhealthy habits.
Would you rather be an underachieving working class white person, with separated parents and not encouraged towards any career path at all?
And end up working as a cashier in a shop, or studying something which did not benefit your career, and ending up working in starbucks as a graduate?
You are lucky to be part of a culture that actually encourages you towards real long term career.
Just look how many asians in the UK actually become doctors, and you will find they have a higher than average proportion of Doctors amongst other stable, high earning professions.
Yes it sucks that you didn't make it.
But seriously stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Your community gives you stable families often with both parents, encourages you and guides you towards success, also you often get prevented from drinking, smoking and other unhealthy habits.
Would you rather be an underachieving working class white person, with separated parents and not encouraged towards any career path at all?
And end up working as a cashier in a shop, or studying something which did not benefit your career, and ending up working in starbucks as a graduate?
Please don't generalize a whole race. I'm Asian myself, and you have given a good example of toxic behavior that is far too common in our culture. Asian people can be separate and some do drink and smoke(moderation is key). And kids need happy parents, not married parents. There are many 'real, long term careers' beside medicine.
MATE I AM WITH YOU, the indian mentality is awful; absolutely trash and I hate it with a passion. No, my parents aren't doctors but did that stop them from pushing that pressure upon me? NOPE. thankfully I completely ignored their attempts and am doing something that was kinda slightly peer pressure initiated BUT I enjoy it and hopefully go to uni to study it!!
and we are the generation that has to put a stop to this status and hierarchy shxt that lives in the minds of many Indians.
and what you're going to do is yell "FREEDOM" once you find something you are truly passionate about and no one can stop you. I recently found out that I love fashion design, architecture and physics — but did I pursue any of those... NOPE because I was never allowed to think for myself when it came to my interests and hobbies. and I'm not going to sit here and regret that... instead, grab the horse by the reins and lead your own life.
Gossiping indian communities sucK so much and I get that, and it's painful, I've been through the same experiences and so has my little sister which was even more painful to watch. Fxck society and GET YOUR LIFE BACK.
YOU ARE INCREDIBLE AND STRONG AND YOU ARE PART OF THE CHANGE WE DESPERATELY NEED. and if you need more support then remember, you're not alone!!!
and we are the generation that has to put a stop to this status and hierarchy shxt that lives in the minds of many Indians.
and what you're going to do is yell "FREEDOM" once you find something you are truly passionate about and no one can stop you. I recently found out that I love fashion design, architecture and physics — but did I pursue any of those... NOPE because I was never allowed to think for myself when it came to my interests and hobbies. and I'm not going to sit here and regret that... instead, grab the horse by the reins and lead your own life.
Gossiping indian communities sucK so much and I get that, and it's painful, I've been through the same experiences and so has my little sister which was even more painful to watch. Fxck society and GET YOUR LIFE BACK.
YOU ARE INCREDIBLE AND STRONG AND YOU ARE PART OF THE CHANGE WE DESPERATELY NEED. and if you need more support then remember, you're not alone!!!
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah I have friends in the african community like that as well. I guess it's the mindset their parents were given when they were raised, I should try and get rid of that mindset. I agree, we should break this awful cycle. There's nothing wrong with being a doctor but this isn't just simple encouragement, it's peer pressure from the community at this point.
I agree with what you said. #Timeforchange
Original post by Anonymous
Were your parents doctors as well? And yeah that's true I've heard people talk about how stressful it is to study medicine, maybe I should look at the downsides as well and stop putting medicine on a pedestal
no theyre not doctors, but they're typical asian parents who wanted me to study medicine. Definitely look at the downsides as well, I respect doctors and their hard work but like you said, medicine is definitely put on a pedestal.
Original post by xSkyFire
You dodged a bullet, I had an offer to do medicine but couldn't afford it as a graduate degree.
I taught myself to code and now I earn double what my friends who did medicine earn. Plus I have plenty of time to myself, I don't have to work during a pandemic with sick people, AND I'm not dealing with 100k+ debt.
The problem with old Asian parents is they believe medicine is the only decent career, buying a house is actually still a good investment and you need their approval for whoever you want to marry.
It's an outdated way of thinking, technology had advanced, there are way more careers out there that pay better and can be more exciting than medicine. Just go and do some research.
I taught myself to code and now I earn double what my friends who did medicine earn. Plus I have plenty of time to myself, I don't have to work during a pandemic with sick people, AND I'm not dealing with 100k+ debt.
The problem with old Asian parents is they believe medicine is the only decent career, buying a house is actually still a good investment and you need their approval for whoever you want to marry.
It's an outdated way of thinking, technology had advanced, there are way more careers out there that pay better and can be more exciting than medicine. Just go and do some research.
I 1000000% agree. I truly do believe some old Asian parents are stuck in this fixed way of thinking which needs to change. Congrats on your newfound success
Would it be the easier if you sit A levels and BMAT/UCAT again until you achieve those grades? If you are really passionate about doing medicine, then believe in yourself that you can do this and go for it (with good tutors if that helps) For me, I totally understand your situation - it's now almost 10 years after finishing high school and I have just been accepted into a highly-ranked medical school (with a first class degree and a masters, less hair admittedly, but wiser, more experienced in life, and happier which are what matter), and for me, medicine is still the only choice that I will never regret working so hard for (I didn't often get good grades too but I've always endeavored to improve at my pace - a positive trend is all that anyone can expect really) and will really enjoy pursing as my true passion for the rest of my life. All the best and stay well
For me, I totally understand your situation - it's now almost 10 years after finishing high school and I have just been accepted into a highly-ranked medical school (with a first class degree and a masters, less hair admittedly, but wiser, more experienced in life, and happier which are what matter), and for me, medicine is still the only choice that I will never regret working so hard for (I didn't often get good grades too but I've always endeavored to improve at my pace - a positive trend is all that anyone can expect really) and will really enjoy pursing as my true passion for the rest of my life. All the best and stay well Original post by Anonymous
I'm asian (indian) and I feel as if I'm the only asian who has parents as doctors, who isn't doing medicine. I didn't get the grades and it's destroying me on the inside. I think about it everyday, all my friends who have parents as doctors are doing medicine. I feel hopeless and alone. They tell me "oh it'll be fine, theres plenty of other careers out there!" but thats easy to say when you're already doing medicine. All of their parents talk about their sons/daughters doing medicine to each other and my parents ask me why I didn't study harder. It's such a toxic culture in the asian community, and I have to admit it has finally broken me. I don't know what to do but cry. I made this post to get it off my chest and make people aware what it's really like in this community and living hell.
Asians going into medicine is a stereotype
Original post by xSkyFire
You dodged a bullet, I had an offer to do medicine but couldn't afford it as a graduate degree.
I taught myself to code and now I earn double what my friends who did medicine earn. Plus I have plenty of time to myself, I don't have to work during a pandemic with sick people, AND I'm not dealing with 100k+ debt.
The problem with old Asian parents is they believe medicine is the only decent career, buying a house is actually still a good investment and you need their approval for whoever you want to marry.
It's an outdated way of thinking, technology had advanced, there are way more careers out there that pay better and can be more exciting than medicine. Just go and do some research.
I taught myself to code and now I earn double what my friends who did medicine earn. Plus I have plenty of time to myself, I don't have to work during a pandemic with sick people, AND I'm not dealing with 100k+ debt.
The problem with old Asian parents is they believe medicine is the only decent career, buying a house is actually still a good investment and you need their approval for whoever you want to marry.
It's an outdated way of thinking, technology had advanced, there are way more careers out there that pay better and can be more exciting than medicine. Just go and do some research.
i'm interested in learning coding, whats the best way to learn? i'm hoping to enter a career which would involve coding
Original post by browniecat
i'm interested in learning coding, whats the best way to learn? i'm hoping to enter a career which would involve coding
Hey mate, I have received this question about a million times Haha I am actually in the process of filming a video explaining my full step by step process of going from 0 coding knowledge to a junior developer position which pays upwards of £40,000 in about 8 months (no degree needed). It took me 8 months but obviously can be more or less depending on the person (I was also working full time for the first 4 months which made it more difficult).
Original post by Anonymous
I'm asian (indian) and I feel as if I'm the only asian who has parents as doctors, who isn't doing medicine. I didn't get the grades and it's destroying me on the inside. I think about it everyday, all my friends who have parents as doctors are doing medicine. I feel hopeless and alone. They tell me "oh it'll be fine, theres plenty of other careers out there!" but thats easy to say when you're already doing medicine. All of their parents talk about their sons/daughters doing medicine to each other and my parents ask me why I didn't study harder. It's such a toxic culture in the asian community, and I have to admit it has finally broken me. I don't know what to do but cry. I made this post to get it off my chest and make people aware what it's really like in this community and living hell.
Anon, apologies if I missed it, but what are you actually doing now? Is it the case that you passed your A Levels but that your grades were too low to allow you to take up a place to read medicine? Did you sit your A Levels last year?
Original post by xSkyFire
Hey mate, I have received this question about a million times Haha I am actually in the process of filming a video explaining my full step by step process of going from 0 coding knowledge to a junior developer position which pays upwards of £40,000 in about 8 months (no degree needed). It took me 8 months but obviously can be more or less depending on the person (I was also working full time for the first 4 months which made it more difficult).
sweet! lmk when you’ve uploaded the video, i’ll give it a watch
u can re - sit a levels in 2021
Original post by KelsieTaylor
Please don't generalize a whole race. I'm Asian myself, and you have given a good example of toxic behavior that is far too common in our culture. Asian people can be separate and some do drink and smoke(moderation is key). And kids need happy parents, not married parents. There are many 'real, long term careers' beside medicine.
I'm not generalising the whole race, it it a few on this thread generalising the asian culture as "toxic" focusing only on the percieved negatives without appreciating the positves that it brings.
I repeat again, it is not perfect but not a toxic culture.
Also I did not infer that there aren't many real long term careers besides medicine.
You have given a good example of the unappreciative behaviour that is far too common in those who generalise the culture as being "toxic"
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not generalising the whole race, it it a few on this thread generalising the asian culture as "toxic" focusing only on the percieved negatives without appreciating the positves that it brings.
I repeat again, it is not perfect but not a toxic culture.
Also I did not infer that there aren't many real long term careers besides medicine.
You have given a good example of the unappreciative behaviour that is far too common in those who generalise the culture as being "toxic"
I repeat again, it is not perfect but not a toxic culture.
Also I did not infer that there aren't many real long term careers besides medicine.
You have given a good example of the unappreciative behaviour that is far too common in those who generalise the culture as being "toxic"
Well, in my opinion, you did generalize. You said 'Would you rather be an underachieving working class white person, with separated parents and not encouraged towards any career path at all?' Clearly, this statement makes it seem as though you think most working-class white people have this situation, which would be fine to say if it were true(and statistics actually showed this), but it isn't.
Yes, you didn't specifically say most/all of them are like this, but there was no need to compare to a white person. And I hope you can see how easy it is for someone to think you are implying this.
You also put the whole community(the Asian community, in this case) under one description: 'Your community gives you stable families often with both parents, encourages you and guides you towards success, also you often get prevented from drinking, smoking and other unhealthy habits.' That just isn't true. Not everyone in this community gets 'prevented from drinking, smoking and other unhealthy habits' and not everyone has 'stable families often with both parents'.
I'm sure you can agree that many people stick their noses in other people's businesses, especially when it comes to careers and even personal issues such as family matters and marriage. We can't just ignore these things.
I don't think any culture/community is perfect, and I don't think ours is entirely toxic either. But there are some aspects of it that do need to change. And just because I said that there is toxic behavior in this community, doesn't mean I don't appreciate my culture. I love my culture and community very much. I just felt like you said some incorrect things in your post, and therefore I replied using my own experience of this community.
Original post by Kerzen
Anon, apologies if I missed it, but what are you actually doing now? Is it the case that you passed your A Levels but that your grades were too low to allow you to take up a place to read medicine? Did you sit your A Levels last year?
I haven't recieved my results yet, but I am certain I have missed the conditional offer. I "done" my A levels this year
Original post by Anonymous
I haven't recieved my results yet, but I am certain I have missed the conditional offer. I "done" my A levels this year
You don't know yet how you have done, but, if you have missed the offer grades, what would you like to do?
If you were able to look into a crystal ball and see yourself in 10 years, what would you like to see yourself doing professionally? I'm not really sure that it's medicine
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- South Asian men (Muslim ideally): would you marry a med drop-out
- My parents are forcing me to do medicine, but I’ll rather go into astrophysics.
- Need practical advice: don't want to do med need more asian parent approved ideas
- English lit, biology or geography a level
- Dad keeps criticising my university degree choice
- cant stop pulling my hair
- Epq medicine based ideas
- Med school options
- Studying Medicine in Kyrgyzstan - Cheap Tuition?
- Really need some advice
- queen mary or st georges
- Career choices
- Uni of liverpool accom as a muslim
- second gap year or biomed?
- Can't afford to pay the expensive international fees at Oxford...
- Imat / med in italy 2023
- Med school woes
- Honest reviews of Aston University?
- Moving to Bulgaria
- asian girls
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 5 days ago
I tried to apply to Disabled Student’s Allowance but…Last reply 1 week ago
For harrasment does someone get a warning first or no warningLast reply 1 week ago
Rutherford Appleton Laboratory Work Experience - ACCOMODATION (harwell campus)Last reply 1 week ago
I think I’m decently pretty but I don’t get asked out …Last reply 3 weeks ago
Please help I accidentally ran a red and am terrifiedTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 5 days ago
I tried to apply to Disabled Student’s Allowance but…Last reply 1 week ago
For harrasment does someone get a warning first or no warningLast reply 1 week ago
Rutherford Appleton Laboratory Work Experience - ACCOMODATION (harwell campus)Last reply 1 week ago
I think I’m decently pretty but I don’t get asked out …Last reply 3 weeks ago
Please help I accidentally ran a red and am terrified
