Sexual assault affecting my a levels and uni application

Last year , a few months into year 12 I was sexually assaulted by someone I trusted. Previously I was a really hard working motivated student who should have been on track for A*A*A. However due to my assault I have had severe memory loss which has meant I do not recall much of year 12 subjects, traumatic flashbacks which have affected my ability to even work in lessons and fuction, anxiety and I’ve been really depressed and just want to give up with life. My predicted grades are now A*AB but my dream universities require AAA (which without this I would have been on track to get) I feel like my whole life has been ruined by something I couldn’t control and had no power over. I’ve tried so hard to sort stuff out but nothing has worked. My school suggested they could write to the universities and explain my circumstances because the effects on me have been so severe. But I’ve been researching and universities could ask for the police report, and while the police know a student at my school was assaulted I never spoke to them myself because I was scared my parents would react badly and also because the person who assaulted me is the same sex as me and I don’t want my parents thinking this has anything to do with my sexuality. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like my whole life is ruined. Will my school writing to universities make any difference? Should I try and speak to the police despite knowing it won’t go anywhere as I have no evidence and therefore it would go no where ? Or should I just give up and realise stuff happens and there’s nothing you can do about it?

As far as I understand the university wouldn't have a right to reading a police report, let alone asking for it. Your school mentioning it in your reference could make a difference if it's one grade off that you are.

Sorry to hear about something bsd like that. I dont know what to say. Hope you ine day find some peace

Will my school writing to universities make any difference?

It may be considered an extenuating circumstance, leading universities to consider your application under that light, even if you miss their typical offer.

Should I try and speak to the police despite knowing it won’t go anywhere as I have no evidence and therefore it would go no where ?

Even if you feel it will go nowhere, it creates a paper trail that will be looked at in the event that other reports of assault from the same person are put forward, strengthening the case.

All in all, you most certainly shouldn’t give up, but it is important to take care of your mental health first. I hope you’ve been seeing a therapist/psychologist.

March 2019 I was sexually assaulted by my friend (woman too) and that was one reason why I didn't want to tell my parents either. If you're 18 they shouldn't inform your parents without your consent but you might want to specify that clearly just to be safe. If you're under 18, but over 16, I would assume it should be the same still legally 16 is the age of consent.

I have very recently started counselling sessions with a local sexual assault charity. I brought up about how I was being increasingly destressed about not reporting, even though now I have no physical evidence. The counsellor actually informed me that even though it won't go to court due to lack of evidence (which I already expected), I will be able to create a statement. Which I am okay with because then at least there's a record of it, and can it can support someone else's experience if they report it for the same person. So yes, even "without evidence" you can make a report but it just won't go too far. It's not as if someone going to jail for a few years is justice anyway... 😒

I’m really sorry that happened to you. I might think about making a statement then, because I feel powerless and maybe that will help me feel like I’m trying to tackle the problem. I hope you find peace and happiness in your life because you deserve it after dealing with that x