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My boyfriend only wants to see me once a week. Should I break up with him?

ok so here's the situation; me and him (both boys) met maybe 3 months ago and first kissed around 2 months ago. This is my first ever relationship and it moved a bit too quickly; we had sex on our 4th time meeting each other oops. It’s been over a month since that now and as of last week we are now dating. None of my friends like him and I have always got a lot of red flags about him but I just like him.
Here’s the problem. We only see each other once a week, often less. He says it’s because he’s too busy with school work, yet he still manages to see his friends and stuff. Obviously, from the outside, it seems like he doesn’t like me, but I’ve put him in many situations where he could have easily said if he didn’t like me, like one time quite recently I had a panic attack and accidentally texted him trying to break up with him during this, but he begged to stay together, which confuses me. (ik that sounds manipulative but I'm not doing it on purpose, it just makes me feel like he does like me even if it doesn't seem like it)
Every time I try and make plans with him, he makes me feel like I’m being a burden, and today he said something along the line of if I see him for 3 hours in a day then that’s 3 hours that he could be doing something else like seeing other friends or watching tv like excuse me. I told him that makes me feel like a burden and like he was just like why don’t you care about my needs BUT WE’RE DATING SURELY WE SHOULD SEE EACH OTHER MORE THAN ONCE A WEEK. Also it makes me sad because at this point I really feel like I need a boyf so that’s another barrier stopping me ending things. Anyway I think I want to break up with him, even though I desperately like him and would love to have a relationship where we see each other more often with him. Could anyone advise haha?

Reply 1

kyungsoo

if ur not happy then leave him. Seems like hes just passing time

Reply 2

1582

Volunteer Team

I don't see any problem in only seeing each other once a week.

I typically will only see my girlfriend once a week during term time (and when we meet I typically stay overnight at hers). We both have people we live with, several friend groups, uni assignments, our own hobbies and interests, etc - and we both need downtime too. It is important to keep in mind that when you are entering a new relationship you are adding a person into an already full life. Dropping everything else to focus on that person would be unhealthy. There needs to be a balance.

It sounds to me that you are coming on too strong and behaving as if this is already a very serious long-term relationship when it has only been official for a week so far. New relationships are meant to be casual and easy-going, so I would recommend dialling things back a bit rather than trying to put so much pressure on the relationship so soon.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 3

JasmineAcademic

I’m in agreement with 1582, it does seem like you are more needy than him but this isn’t always a bad thing. If this is your first ever relationship it’s like your doubting every action or feeling and this is normal because it’s new for you. Chances are, the guy your seeing has a little bit more experience in relationships than yourself and clearly doesn’t come across as wanting to see you as much as you want to see him.

Don’t be put off by seeing each other once a week, if it was once a month I’d be worried but some people really do like to take there time in relationships and see how things go. Rushing into things never seems to work. He may also think you both rushed slightly and now he’s taking it a little slower.

Just try and enjoy the moment and don’t question everything. Enjoy having fun with him and continue to live your own life with your friends too. Needy behaviour does tend to put people off so try and curb it a little. We’ve all been there, it’s comes with experience but seriously just don’t be on his case as much and it might even be him messaging you or wanting to see you more. Kinda like reverse psychology. I’ve got to admit i wished I had kept in contact with my friends and continued to go out when I met my boyfriend but I didn’t, we live in each other’s pockets and slowly drifted away from our mates. We are very happy in our relationship but we now having lacking friendships. Try and put effort into both so you don’t miss out on anything as you get older. It’s easier to start off like this than to try and change it a few years down the line.