I feel like a failure.

So this summer I got AAAA*in bio chem psych n the epq
I have always wanted to do medicine
But had to apply for mpharm last year coz my teachers wouldn't predict me the right grades
I rejected mpharm
But my UCAT came low afterwards
I didnt want to live the rest of my life I regret for not chasing my dream simply bcz I was scared of taking a gap year
So I took a gap year I'm working 20 hours a week at a supermarket
It's going alright but it gets depressing again n again
I applied for unis strategically havent heard back yet though
My 5th choice was a backup for computer science at a rg uni...I will be doing a foundation year n they asked for a separate ps computer science is my 2and fav field but if I dont get in this time I'll prolly want to take another gap year improve my UCAT n apply again coz medicine is my dream
But idk y the uncertainty kills me
The fact that I'll be behind 2 years in my life but anyway
I jus wanted to talk out what I was feeling

Basically I have doubts not about the profession but myself
I'm competitive and I do well academically as well, one of the things that really attract me about medicine is how consuming the career is like u r totally immersed in ur job plus I really like the anatomy and helping ppl etc
So workwise I'm fine
But my social skills r really bad Idk how to stand up for myself, I'm alright talking to strangers etc but I still get anxiety when under pressure
Do all medics have gud social skills to start with?
I'm not worried about the intensity of the degree jus the social aspect but then I feel like if I dont get out of my comfort zone I'll never get to become a doctor

I don't think it's helpful to think in terms of "good" or "bad" social skills. Everyone has some aspects of communication or social interaction that come more naturally to them than others. Any caring profession will throw you into situations that you'd never imagined, which means that your communication, empathy, and insight will be tested and developed throughout your working life. Again, this is the same for everyone. It isn't the case that some people walk into medical school with all the requisite skills and others don't.

I'm similar to you - in the past I struggled with assertiveness and I still feel a bit anxious in conflict situations. This has improved massively with time and practice. The important thing is to be aware of your weaknesses and ready to learn. You need to be as patient with yourself as you would be with others, and vice versa.

Seeing as you have the skills, and attributes to fulfil your career desires. The hard part is done just work on your confidence, and overcome any social issues.