Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
#1
Im in second year of University. I have transferred placement sites and feel like I am struggling to keep going.
I lack motivation, everytime I think of studying or having an assignment/presentation and exams due or that I have placement next day I want to scream and cry.
I work at the placement site as an assistant and its a good job, but I feel I chose the wrong pathway. I don't understand or find interest in this course anymore but im worried of the consequences if i just quit or keep going and fail. In both case scenarios i feel like il be a dissapointment, judged, questioned.
I thought long and still cant choose.
Pros of staying
- there's always a job within this career
- I would have a qualification
- earn more than I earn now
- I would feel like I dissapointed everyone if I quit
-im good at it in certain areas... But I think its only because I work as an assistant there
- already have a 30k dept and it'll just all go to waste...
Cons
- im burnt out quickly, feel exhausted from all of this information.
-feel lack of freedom, and feeling that I cantrelax be cause constantly think I don't deserve it since I didn't do anything. Then end up feeling constant laziness and emptiness and forget to do other things like cooking and cleaning and get dissapointed in myself more.
- i don't understand most of the material except the basics, and even first year the essays i somewhat managed but they could have been better.
- I will feel like a dissapointment if I fail.


I don't know what to do, i was reassured I wont be a dissapointment if i dont feel like doing it, but then told to finish my studies by my family and the mixed signals are messing with my mind.
What should I do???
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saltylikededslug
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#2
Report 5 days ago
#2
from the first reading of it, my initial reaction is to tell you to drop out. if the course is affecting you mentally this much and doing you more harm than good, then what is the point? if you stick with it it could have bad consequences. As for disappointing your family, i can relate to this, but I'm telling you now you are not responsible for your family's happiness. your life is yours and you can do whatever you want with it. the fear of disappointing people is terrifying, but i think that if you do drop out, you are extremely brave. in the long run im sure they would much prefer a child who is happy than stressed out and drained. you should also be kinder to yourself, you said that you also feel disappointed in yourself when you don't do work or clean, but in a time like this it is understandable that you have no motivation for anything. when you find yourself feeling like this, instead of thinking of what you should be doing, think of what you need.

One of the pros of staying is that you would always have a job in this field, but you don't have any interest in it anyway. uni is not the be all end all, there are plenty of opportunities out there other than education. would it be possible to keep your assistant job if you dropped the course? that way it gives you a way into the industry without the qualifications, and even if it wouldn't be possible, you'd still have the work experience. you could even take a break from education for however long (weeks, months, years) and when you feel better you could start a part time uni course in whatever subject online. If the workload is too much then this would be less pressure. Or you might not, and do something completely different. My sister quit uni in her first year for the same reasons as you and i can assure you she is much happier than she would be if she stayed. my parents weren't too happy at first, but then they realised the fault in themselves as they also pressured her, and realised their mistake.

As for the debt, whether you drop out or not, it will still be there. the only thing that matters is what will make you happier?

Just know that it is normal to feel this way, and don't think that you are stupid or not good enough. the way education works is not for everyone which sucks because this world is obsessed with it, and doesn't cater to anyone else. you're not dumb or anything, (actually the fact that you got into uni shows that you are very intelligent) you just might thrive better in different conditions and that is okay. It's also okay to not know what you want in life or lack direction, this sounds cliche but you have your whole life ahead of you to figure out what you want. The career you picked however many years ago might not interest you anymore and it is normal to change your mind. People change all the time and sometimes don't figure out what they want for decades.

In this situation there is no easy answer, and unfortunately that's just how it is. But whatever you do choose you should be very proud of yourself and be kind to yourself, you're just doing your best.
Last edited by saltylikededslug; 5 days ago
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#3
Report 5 days ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Im in second year of University. I have transferred placement sites and feel like I am struggling to keep going.
I lack motivation, everytime I think of studying or having an assignment/presentation and exams due or that I have placement next day I want to scream and cry.
I work at the placement site as an assistant and its a good job, but I feel I chose the wrong pathway. I don't understand or find interest in this course anymore but im worried of the consequences if i just quit or keep going and fail. In both case scenarios i feel like il be a dissapointment, judged, questioned.
I thought long and still cant choose.
Pros of staying
- there's always a job within this career
- I would have a qualification
- earn more than I earn now
- I would feel like I dissapointed everyone if I quit
-im good at it in certain areas... But I think its only because I work as an assistant there
- already have a 30k dept and it'll just all go to waste...
Cons
- im burnt out quickly, feel exhausted from all of this information.
-feel lack of freedom, and feeling that I cantrelax be cause constantly think I don't deserve it since I didn't do anything. Then end up feeling constant laziness and emptiness and forget to do other things like cooking and cleaning and get dissapointed in myself more.
- i don't understand most of the material except the basics, and even first year the essays i somewhat managed but they could have been better.
- I will feel like a dissapointment if I fail.


I don't know what to do, i was reassured I wont be a dissapointment if i dont feel like doing it, but then told to finish my studies by my family and the mixed signals are messing with my mind.
What should I do???
Hi,

It is completely understandable that you feel adrift. Feelings of doubt are completely natural. Your Uni will have people that can help you. In the first instance talk to you tutor and then contact student support. Being able to talk through how you feel and to investigate your options is vital to finding the right path for you.
They will be offer subject/career advice, well being advice and study help and more. The important thing is to reach out. You are not alone.

Best wishes

Andy
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saltylikededslug
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#4
Report 1 day ago
#4
from the first reading of it, my initial reaction is to tell you to drop out. if the course is affecting you mentally this much and doing you more harm than good, then what is the point? if you stick with it it could have bad consequences. As for disappointing your family, i can relate to this, but I'm telling you now you are not responsible for your family's happiness. your life is yours and you can do whatever you want with it. the fear of disappointing people is terrifying, but i think that if you do drop out, you are extremely brave. in the long run im sure they would much prefer a child who is happy than stressed out and drained. you should also be kinder to yourself, you said that you also feel disappointed in yourself when you don't do work or clean, but in a time like this it is understandable that you have no motivation for anything. when you find yourself feeling like this, instead of thinking of what you should be doing, think of what you need. One of the pros of staying is that you would always have a job in this field, but you don't have any interest in it anyway. uni is not the be all end all, there are plenty of opportunities out there other than education. would it be possible to keep your assistant job if you dropped the course? that way it gives you a way into the industry without the qualifications, and even if it wouldn't be possible, you'd still have the work experience. you could even take a break from education for however long (weeks, months, years) and when you feel better you could start a part time uni course in whatever subject online. If the workload is too much then this would be less pressure. Or you might not, and do something completely different. My sister quit uni in her first year for the same reasons as you and i can assure you she is much happier than she would be if she stayed. my parents weren't too happy at first, but then they realised the fault in themselves as they also pressured her, and realised their mistake.As for the debt, whether you drop out or not, it will still be there. the only thing that matters is will you be happier?Just know that it is normal to feel this way, and don't think that you are stupid or not good enough. the way education works is not for everyone which sucks because this world is obsessed with it, and doesn't cater to anyone else. you're not dumb or anything, (actually the fact that you got into uni shows that you are very intelligent) you just might thrive better in different conditions and that is okay. It's also okay to not know what you want in life or lack direction, this sounds cliche but you have your whole life ahead of you to figure out what you want. The career you picked however many years ago might not interest you anymore and it is normal to change your mind. People change all the time and sometimes don't figure out what they want for decades.In this situation there is no easy answer, and unfortunately that's just how it is. But whatever you do choose you should be very proud of yourself and be kind to yourself, you're just doing your best.
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black tea
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#5
Report 1 day ago
#5
I would keep going, personally. But you know you best.
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