I've always thought I would die young

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hi everyone
Basically - I've always had it in my head that I'm going to die young. I'm not suicidal or anything of the sort but it's just been since I was really little (like 5 or 6) I've had this unnerving gut feeling that I will die at 16.

So, I turn 16 in about 5 months. And suddenly my health has gone really downhill. I've been in and out of the doctor. I've found a lump at the back of my leg and I'm worried about it. I have blood tests and ultrasounds booked.
And I know it sounds stupid but in some ways I can't help but feel that my gut feeling has been right and this is the beginning of the end for me. Like in a way I've accepted it's an inevitability I'm going to die?..
Has anyone else felt this way? Is it normal to feel that you're going to die young? I just can't shake the feeling. And it's horrible.
Thanks in advance
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Wibble04
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone
Basically - I've always had it in my head that I'm going to die young. I'm not suicidal or anything of the sort but it's just been since I was really little (like 5 or 6) I've had this unnerving gut feeling that I will die at 16.

So, I turn 16 in about 5 months. And suddenly my health has gone really downhill. I've been in and out of the doctor. I've found a lump at the back of my leg and I'm worried about it. I have blood tests and ultrasounds booked.
And I know it sounds stupid but in some ways I can't help but feel that my gut feeling has been right and this is the beginning of the end for me. Like in a way I've accepted it's an inevitability I'm going to die?..
Has anyone else felt this way? Is it normal to feel that you're going to die young? I just can't shake the feeling. And it's horrible.
Thanks in advance
Sometimes a person can just be their own worst enemy with how they are feeling, with emotions being connected to this. Personally, I don't have the feeling that I am going to die young, just the constant feeling that something bad will happen all of the time. If I start to think about this feeling as well, then I just spiral further down than I am already, which is not the greatest feeling if you know what I'm on about. It could just be that because you've had this feeling for a while you feel like you're a self-fulfilling prophecy? Who knows what life will fling at us. Most of the time we will not be ready for whatever is coming, but you cannot predict the future, just as you cannot change the past. Life is a constant weave of threads that are moving and changing and winding around something else. I think you should try not to think too much into it if you can. Let the tests and the scans determine what the lump may be, and if you need to worry about it etc. Have you thought about talking to anyone about your feelings and concerns? Also, there are two things for certain in life, death and taxes, so you might as well live while you can, and stop worrying about the things that you cannot change. (Sorry if this wasn't helpful).
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1582
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#3
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#3
When I was younger I had the same feeling - didn't think I'd live to reach 18. Then I had a series of awful health concerns 16-22 with lots of hospital visits. I'm now 29 and bar a few manageable health issues perfectly fine.

I think young people tend to feel this way because they can't imagine a future in which they are an adult, rather than it actually being a prediction of the future.
Last edited by 1582; 1 month ago
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Greebo85
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#4
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#4
Oh goodness me! This is no way to live your life, none of us know if maybe tomorrow that’s it, done.
Anxiety is one thing and I appreciate it’s hard to stay positive all the time but really people.
Put that negativity behind you, if you’re going to die then there’s probably not a lot you can do about it. In the mean time live your life, enjoy yourself.
I know it’s a cliché but you really have to live for every day.
Stand with one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow and you will piss all over today
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restlesssness
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#5
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#5
I had the exact same feeling throughout my childhood, that I wouldn't make it past my teenage years. I think for me it was related to a lot of health anxiety - every time I would get headaches I thought I was dying, always assumed the worst. I kind of grew out of it, now I'm 22 and accepting that I need to get on with the real world cause clearly I've made it this far! You might just outgrow it but it's worth talking to someone about your feelings to make sense of them a bit more, I certainly think that would have helped me back then
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone
Basically - I've always had it in my head that I'm going to die young. I'm not suicidal or anything of the sort but it's just been since I was really little (like 5 or 6) I've had this unnerving gut feeling that I will die at 16.

So, I turn 16 in about 5 months. And suddenly my health has gone really downhill. I've been in and out of the doctor. I've found a lump at the back of my leg and I'm worried about it. I have blood tests and ultrasounds booked.
And I know it sounds stupid but in some ways I can't help but feel that my gut feeling has been right and this is the beginning of the end for me. Like in a way I've accepted it's an inevitability I'm going to die?..
Has anyone else felt this way? Is it normal to feel that you're going to die young? I just can't shake the feeling. And it's horrible.
Thanks in advance
It’s not abnormal to have the fleeting thought about it at all. As someone who has OCD, I wonder if this is an obsession of yours? Did you have an intrusive thought one day and become obsessed with it? That certainly happens to me in these sort of sequences. I then have a compulsion, such as touching wood in order to try and prevent it. Do you think this could be you? Look into it online but I can tell you that it’s probably something to do with your mental health and not a real fear to have. Please don’t worry - although I know that’s easier said than done.

And btw - I have had the exact same thought before.
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Anonymous #3
#7
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#7
I have had a similar hunch about myself for ages, I have overthought this scenario to the point that I have my lines ready in case I get diagnosed with a potentially dangerous disease. Being born in a developing country is literally a sign that you could potentially die young, I was about to twice once I was nearly hit by a vehicle I experienced a near-death moment that time a moment I'll never forget bc a lot of people were surrounding me and this was near my home so I picked myself up and ran as quickly as possible and once I went inside I burst into tears so bad that grandma thought it was reallyyyyyy bad and asked my siblings to move to other room before approaching me. Another moment or thing which could have killed me was that I was diagnosed with TB (perks of a developing country) at the age of 16. But I fought it and recovered from it fully and here I am in the UK still have that hunch about myself it does not go away but it does not bother me if I die young or old, today or tomorrow or whenever; what matters to me is that the years I live should be lived with happiness and hopefully have left mark on enough people who will remember me as a nice individual. I think you should start thinking of it the same way don't dwell on that it does more harm than good. P.S I'm not suicidal
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
It’s not abnormal to have the fleeting thought about it at all. As someone who has OCD, I wonder if this is an obsession of yours? Did you have an intrusive thought one day and become obsessed with it? That certainly happens to me in these sort of sequences. I then have a compulsion, such as touching wood in order to try and prevent it. Do you think this could be you? Look into it online but I can tell you that it’s probably something to do with your mental health and not a real fear to have. Please don’t worry - although I know that’s easier said than done.

And btw - I have had the exact same thought before.
I think it could be. And I do have a family history of OCD..
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Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#9
(Original post by 1582)
When I was younger I had the same feeling - didn't think I'd live to reach 18. Then I had a series of awful health concerns 16-22 with lots of hospital visits. I'm now 29 and bar a few manageable health issues perfectly fine.

I think young people tend to feel this way because they can't imagine a future in which they are an adult, rather than it actually being a prediction of the future.
Thanks for responding. I'm sure you're right, and I'm probably just struggling to envision adulthood.
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have had a similar hunch about myself for ages, I have overthought this scenario to the point that I have my lines ready in case I get diagnosed with a potentially dangerous disease. Being born in a developing country is literally a sign that you could potentially die young, I was about to twice once I was nearly hit by a vehicle I experienced a near-death moment that time a moment I'll never forget bc a lot of people were surrounding me and this was near my home so I picked myself up and ran as quickly as possible and once I went inside I burst into tears so bad that grandma thought it was reallyyyyyy bad and asked my siblings to move to other room before approaching me. Another moment or thing which could have killed me was that I was diagnosed with TB (perks of a developing country) at the age of 16. But I fought it and recovered from it fully and here I am in the UK still have that hunch about myself it does not go away but it does not bother me if I die young or old, today or tomorrow or whenever; what matters to me is that the years I live should be lived with happiness and hopefully have left mark on enough people who will remember me as a nice individual. I think you should start thinking of it the same way don't dwell on that it does more harm than good. P.S I'm not suicidal
Wow! That's a pretty full-on experience. I'm glad you've fully recovered and are well. Thanks for taking the time to write that out to me
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
(Original post by Wibble04)
Sometimes a person can just be their own worst enemy with how they are feeling, with emotions being connected to this. Personally, I don't have the feeling that I am going to die young, just the constant feeling that something bad will happen all of the time. If I start to think about this feeling as well, then I just spiral further down than I am already, which is not the greatest feeling if you know what I'm on about. It could just be that because you've had this feeling for a while you feel like you're a self-fulfilling prophecy? Who knows what life will fling at us. Most of the time we will not be ready for whatever is coming, but you cannot predict the future, just as you cannot change the past. Life is a constant weave of threads that are moving and changing and winding around something else. I think you should try not to think too much into it if you can. Let the tests and the scans determine what the lump may be, and if you need to worry about it etc. Have you thought about talking to anyone about your feelings and concerns? Also, there are two things for certain in life, death and taxes, so you might as well live while you can, and stop worrying about the things that you cannot change. (Sorry if this wasn't helpful).
I have thought about talking to someone about this, but being an only child the only people in my family I can discuss this with are my parents. I imagine they will get quite upset if I mention my fear of dying.. I've briefly touched on it before, to hear 'Don't say things like that!' and we leave it there. You were very helpful though, no apology necessary
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Anonymous #1
#12
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#12
(Original post by restlesssness)
I had the exact same feeling throughout my childhood, that I wouldn't make it past my teenage years. I think for me it was related to a lot of health anxiety - every time I would get headaches I thought I was dying, always assumed the worst. I kind of grew out of it, now I'm 22 and accepting that I need to get on with the real world cause clearly I've made it this far! You might just outgrow it but it's worth talking to someone about your feelings to make sense of them a bit more, I certainly think that would have helped me back then
I also suffer with health anxiety so we're probably in similar boats here. Thanks for replying to me
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rosy_posy
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#13
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#13
Maybe it's because you are expecting to die at 16 and so your body is reacting to that thought. Or those symptoms could have always been there and you just didn't notice them before.
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rosy_posy
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#14
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#14
A lump at the back of your leg is probably minor though. It was excessive to book ultrasounds and blood tests tbh. What you really need help with is your health anxiety
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Anonymous #2
#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think it could be. And I do have a family history of OCD..
It may well be that then - family history defo plays a role, since several members of my immediate family also have OCD. I’m not sure if it’s genetic or if it’s because you pick up the OCD tendencies from observing others, but I’d look into therapy if you think this could be what you’re struggling with.
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Wibble04
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have thought about talking to someone about this, but being an only child the only people in my family I can discuss this with are my parents. I imagine they will get quite upset if I mention my fear of dying.. I've briefly touched on it before, to hear 'Don't say things like that!' and we leave it there. You were very helpful though, no apology necessary
It doesn't have to be your parents that you speak to. It could be someone like your local doctor or a trusted friend.
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Hikaina
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone
Basically - I've always had it in my head that I'm going to die young. I'm not suicidal or anything of the sort but it's just been since I was really little (like 5 or 6) I've had this unnerving gut feeling that I will die at 16.

So, I turn 16 in about 5 months. And suddenly my health has gone really downhill. I've been in and out of the doctor. I've found a lump at the back of my leg and I'm worried about it. I have blood tests and ultrasounds booked.
And I know it sounds stupid but in some ways I can't help but feel that my gut feeling has been right and this is the beginning of the end for me. Like in a way I've accepted it's an inevitability I'm going to die?..
Has anyone else felt this way? Is it normal to feel that you're going to die young? I just can't shake the feeling. And it's horrible.
Thanks in advance
It seems like the issue is in your head. And i think this happens with all the teenagers you are not tge only one.As you think about dying your mind and your body now believes that they are going to die. If you keep on thinking the same **** since 8-10 years your body will surely start working like that. So the only solution isthat u should try to remove that thought from your head.
If you have sound body u will have a sound mind. And a small lump cant do.
Last edited by Hikaina; 1 month ago
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