Difficulty keeping a job

Hi all,

I thought I would let people know what is happening to me, to see if I can get some help.

At 19 I had a bad experience in the workplace with my first full time employer, It was just a really toxic work environment. Unfortunately I internalised it, and constantly felt that I was in the wrong. I hung on as long as I could, I ended up staying 10 months. I had a part time job before that which lasted about a year. So I had almost two years consecutive work history.

12 years on and my situation is no better. 6/7 jobs later and I’m in a bad state. I can never hold on to a job longer than 3 months, that’s how it’s been since working the later 6th to 7th job.

I just feel like I’m being bullied in every workplace I go to. I don’t feel comfortable in the workplaces I go to. Which means I haven’t stayed anywhere long enough to pick up skills.

My mindset has got so bad that after applying for jobs and actually getting the job, I turn them down because I’m just so afraid that it won’t work out and I’ll be bullied again. Trying it out would be hard because I’d be putting myself through the bullying.

I don’t think I’m doing a good job of relaying how bad things are, but I can’t live like this. I’ve got hardly any income living on benefits, I’d like to have a family and I’m hardly catch as a wife. I can’t provide for myself or my future kids. I never saw my life going this way.

I’ve tried therapy and it doesn’t work, talking about the issue isn’t going to make it go away. What would help is a way out of this situation.

I think starting a business would help, then I wouldn’t have to deal with colleagues, but I wouldn’t know the first thing about business. So then I’m stuck.

Can’t start a business, can’t be an employee, unhappy on benefits, does anyone have any solutions?

Reply 1

username5839543

20

Do you have people problems in other contexts?
Your story sounds quite unusual, I am wondering if there’s a reason why you haven’t been able to build on your experiences?
What sector(s) are you working in? Would you feel better doing something completely different? If people are a problem what about doing some kind of delivery job or warehouse picking or factory work?
Do you have any business ideas?

Reply 2

Stephanieoo

OP

2

Original post by Cancelled Alice

Do you have people problems in other contexts?
Your story sounds quite unusual, I am wondering if there’s a reason why you haven’t been able to build on your experiences?
What sector(s) are you working in? Would you feel better doing something completely different? If people are a problem what about doing some kind of delivery job or warehouse picking or factory work?
Do you have any business ideas?

Funny thing is aside from work situations, I would say I’ve got great people skills. Well the were much better when I was in my 20s, with time passing and having been discouraged so much, I have little to say these day.

I spent my 20s trying to get professional jobs in the office, but I think now I would be open to working in warehouses and delivery driving. Anything to give me a wage. I’ve worked as a teaching assistant to see if I wanted to be a teacher, a pharmacy assistant to see if I wanted to be a pharmacist, a buyers admin assistant to be a buyer, a bartender, a midday assistant, administrator, studied IT never had an IT job but went to the last stage of bbc IT apprenticeship programme.
I don’t struggle to get jobs. Well I didn’t, now it’s hard as I have no experience to draw from so it’s hard to explain in interviews why I should get the job from past experience.

Good luck

One point - You said you don't know how to start a business, but then jumped straight to CAN'T. That's just a matter of education and support, and there's plenty out there for free.

I'm not really cut out for working for others 9-5 either and not a huge fan of imposed teamwork, I started out as a Gardener with my own van and that suits me far more, it cost me maybe £2500 to get started and a fair bit of reading (I did admittedly have years experience in the job first)

Reply 5

PhoenixFortune

21

What are some of the reasons you've left your previous jobs?

you need a cv

OP

Original post by PhoenixFortune

What are some of the reasons you've left your previous jobs?

Every single time because I felt bullied by my colleagues

Reply 8

Stephanieoo

OP

2

Original post by tinyperson

you need a cv

I have a cv

OP

Unfortunately not

Original post by Stephanieoo

Every single time because I felt bullied by my colleagues

So you resigned each time? I know we don't know exactly what happened at each employment, but as you're the common denominator, it sounds like you need to help adjusting your mindset, and not jumping to negative interpretations of others' actions.

Have you tried jobs that require you to work alone, limiting your contact with other employees?

Reply 11

Stephanieoo

OP

2

Original post by PhoenixFortune

So you resigned each time? I know we don't know exactly what happened at each employment, but as you're the common denominator, it sounds like you need to help adjusting your mindset, and not jumping to negative interpretations of others' actions.

Have you tried jobs that require you to work alone, limiting your contact with other employees?

No I haven’t been for jobs where I can work only, aside from delivery driver and post person I can’t think of any. Do you have any other ideas?

Reply 12

PhoenixFortune

21

Original post by Stephanieoo

No I haven’t been for jobs where I can work only, aside from delivery driver and post person I can’t think of any. Do you have any other ideas?

Any jobs that require a work-from-home situation would avoid employees to an extent, although you'd obviously need to communicate with colleagues/superiors at some point.

What did your previous colleagues do that indicates bullying to you? That might help us unpick the situation.

Reply 13

Stephanieoo

OP

2

managers would shout my name across the room if they needed to speak to me if a piece of work needed correcting.

My manager laughed in my face that I didn’t know how to do a calculation.

One colleague shouted at me and was very argumentative when she came to double check a form with me.

My manager made a complaint that I was sat in the staff room and seemed unfriendly, I can only think it was because I wasn’t making conversation with anyone whilst on my lunch break.

Things of that nature

Reply 14

PhoenixFortune

21

Original post by Stephanieoo

managers would shout my name across the room if they needed to speak to me if a piece of work needed correcting.

My manager laughed in my face that I didn’t know how to do a calculation.

One colleague shouted at me and was very argumentative when she came to double check a form with me.

My manager made a complaint that I was sat in the staff room and seemed unfriendly, I can only think it was because I wasn’t making conversation with anyone whilst on my lunch break.

Things of that nature

Unfortunately, these sound like typical interactions you might encounter in any workplace. Are all these things appropriate and reasonable? No, but sometimes you need to just take these things on the chin and build resilience. I think maybe getting some coaching on how to interact in a professional setting and socially problem-solve might help you.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by PhoenixFortune

Unfortunately, these sound like typical interactions you might encounter in any workplace. Are all these things appropriate and reasonable? No, but sometimes you need to just take these things on the chin and build resilience. I think maybe getting some coaching on how to interact in a professional setting and socially problem-solve might help you.