im so sick of this

i (17F) live with my mother and my little sister. my sister is turning 5 this year and I was 12 when she was born. it's just us in the house. I knew from the day she was born that i'd end up doing a lot of work for the child and end up being underappreciated, during my mum's pregnancy, i pretty much helped her the entire time, especially during her labour and my mum gave my grandma all the credit when all she did was offload her tasks onto me. Jump forward a couple of years and i baby sittign this child for HOURS on end when i literally have school work to do. My sister int the type of child you can just leave with a task and she'll do it, she demands constant attention every hour of every minute. my mother knows this. she has never even offered to have someone else come and help me take care of her so i can revise. I'm in my second year of a-levels, and my grades aren't really the best, so i need the time to work through things so i can boost my grade so i can do the uni course that SHE wants me to do. alongside taking care of my sister for hours on end, she expects me to just drop everything and do whatever chore she tells me to the minute she says it. it doesn't matter if I'm the middle of revision or anything. i am expected to stop what I'm doing immediately. she won't let me offer to do it later. she knows i struggle with concentration, and that doing that will really throw me off, but she doesn't care. i'm expected to do it, because she's 'been working all do and the very least i can do is some chores' . she complains that there's never anyone in the house to help her, but it's getting to the point where my sister calls me 'mama' because of how much im taking care of her in contrast to my mum. i drop her off at school two days a week and i pick her up a minimum of 3 times. I can't get any revision done when she's around. as I'm typing she's insisting that i come downstairs to sit with her. I have a test on Monday and i've managed to get zero revision done today. there's no point even trying because i have to bake flapjacks for a party my sister is going to, which is something else i have to go to because if i don't go i'm not spending enough time with the family. I'm applying for a job (at my mum's recommendation) but I just know it's going to make the situation worse. i'd just much rather be out of the house and making money than sit here and have my time exploited. it's just so frustrating. she treats me like im an unpaid maid and i cant say anything because she 'puts a roof over my head and feeds me and whatever'.

im just so tired of this. shes the same person who ***** on me when I do badly in my tests, but this is the pressure she puts me under.

Hi,

From reading your post, i just wanna congratulate you for getting this far. It seems as the years progressed, the work has too.

You say your in the second year of your A- levels, so i assume your in sixth form, not college. Does the sixth form not have any additional sessions, half after school, where students can " catch up on work" or have revision sessions. This would benefit you a lot, or why not pop down to your local library and schedule say 2 hours, 2 times a week after school as you say you pick up your sister a minimum of 3 times.

Sound like your pretty much are pulled left, right and centre and have no say about it. I would advise- do not get a job. I say this because when applying for a job, your like yeah i can be there for this and this time. But when it comes to it you will be tired especially if its a retail or customer assistant role. The job will take up majority of your time along with your studies and babysitting. Getting a job would be convenient if you were getting grades and on top of things.

i remember juggling work and school, especially if your catching public transport its hectic. Employers in retail/ sales expect you to be at that time late or early no matter what, So stay true to yourself- dont give up now, just a few months to go as your in yr13.

Your sister seems like every other sibling/ relative lol- we have all been there. You need to be 10 steps ahead of your " selfish" mother, whose prioritizing herself before you. wake up earlier- get revision done hours before school and at night. Yes you will be tired but make up for this on the weekends. Its now time for you to be " selfish" gracefully.
Do not drive while tired.

Do you have any friends that have you can do revision sessions with be it virtual or in person? A quick 30 min call or facetime would really help you with concentration as you would be talking about the topic, repeating this and retaining information in easily.

A word of advice- stick with education. Don't let bad grades or your moms antics throw you off. I do hope you will be thinking about applying to Universities soon via UCAS or any apprenticeships in mind. Would be best if you could find a university that would provide you with an unconditional offer.

Hope you pass all your subjects and ace the exams,
Best Wishes

got an A in my last chem test so i guess things are looking up but im so tired lol

at least i only have to work until the end of this year and than i can relax.