supporting my mum

my mum is very nice and doesn't offload, however she is unhappy in life and i have encouraged her to be more open and expressive, and she is snot interested in seeking therapy.
However whenever i call her on the phone she goes straight into telling me all the things going wrong with her day, about her colleagues and tasks, and anything else's that goes wrong that day. I totally get she can have rough days but tbh it puts me off calling her as i get frustrated hearing the same complaints over and over again, and she's unable to support me if i needed it IMO. I feel like an emotional crutch and like our conversations are quite dull and don't move past small talk and complaints about her day.

if i get impatient or snappy she will blame me that i asked her how shes feeling then i gete annoyed. which is true, i feel it's my fault for opening up boundaries but now it's a bit too much of a downer for mewho is trying to say afloat anyway.

thoughts?

Reply 1

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

You say that she doesn't offload, but then you immediately describe her as doing exactly that, offloading.

I'm not sure how you can deal with this now. If you tell her to stop sharing all her problems you're going to sound like a bit of an arse, but on the flip side she really shouldn't be putting all her problems onto her child.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by PinkMobilePhone

i meant she's not the sort who would rant and force everyone to listen, she would feel rejected pretty quickly i think

she just keeps putting herself in situations that arent ideal for her, like stressful jobs she doesn't have much experience with, signing up to things she doesn't feel like doing out of obligation. I can't stop her making those decisions altho i told her not to she acts like she has no choice

or she says i should tell her what to do instead