i'm a third year in bereavement

so over the summer my mum unfortunately passed away after a short illness. as someone who is very lonely at uni, i kept the diagnosis to myself as she was going through treatment and only ended up telling one teacher (who, in the end made things worse as he inadvertently blamed the covid vaccine for my mum's diagnosis).

i really need some support for my bereavement and other mental health issues, and just today i attended my induction and i submitted form telling my student support team that i was in bereavement. i'm hoping they contact me about it and start the conversation rolling because i am awful at seeking out help. my uni is notoriously bad at communication so honestly i'm not expecting anything, but i feel like i'm hanging by a thread right now to even stay in this city rather than moving back home.

over the second year i had doubts about whether i belonged on my course, but now, after I've had a life-changing summer and realised that life is so much more fragile, every ounce in me wants to drop out. i don't feel any joy thinking about my degree anymore and i miss my dad and my family back home. my mental health has taken such a dip even just this past week of living on my own in my student accommodation and i really don't think i have it in me to continue on this course (i haven't even started lessons yet).

i miss my mum and i feel so unhappy. I've tried googling but no websites really detail what i'm feeling. there's never a right time for losing a parent but losing my mum just before i started third year has to be one of the worst times possible. i just needed to vent here about what i'm feeling and hopefully connect with some other people who are experiencing what i am experiencing.

Reply 1

cheadle

I felt for you reading this post. You are absolutely right about getting support in place for your 3rd year. Here are a few suggestions
- contact your Personal Tutor and update them on your situation
- familiarise yourself with the EC/PMC system at your uni in case you are unable to complete assessments on time
- keep any paperwork relating to your situation up to date and easily accessible such as prescriptions for medication, appointment letters for counselling, emails, screenshots, etc
- if you have not been making use of free support within the university, start doing so now - this includes Student Support & student counselling -YOU HAVE ALREADY STARTED THIS PROCESS BY COMPLETING THAT INDUCTION FORM - WELL DONE!
- go and see your GP and let him/her know what you have been struggling - you may need a letter from them at someone point.

On top of all of that, it really does sound like you might benefit from some bereavement counselling. I don;t know if you have looked into this already, but a few sessions across the year might be enough to help you through.