I feel absolutely awful, and so guilty this morning.

My mum works at a school, so she runs like a morning/breakfast club every Monday over the holidays. I came to help her out this morning; no problems, was great. My mum was dismissing kids to their parents, and one girl was crying at the back of the time.

I asked her if she was okay, and she said she missed her mum. I asked her if her mum was picking her up, and where her mum was (baring in mind these kids are 5, maybe 6). She said ‘My mummy is in heaven’. When I tell you my heart dropped, I felt awful. I didn’t really know what to say, so I kind of tried to change the subject, and cheer her up a bit.

Later on, I told my mum about it. Turns out, her mum was killed in a car crash two weeks ago, and her Nan is looking after her. I feel so, so awful; my mum blames me for asking, and that I shouldn’t ask them about their families just in case, but I had no idea.

I’m sure the girl won’t remember, but I’m so sorry.
Hopefully this makes someone else’s day feel a little better than mine.

Reply 1

iL1L

Volunteer Team

Hey there
I don't think it'a fair to blame you for asking :console:

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 2

cheadle

You acted spontaneously and as your mum had presumably not previously warned you about speaking with the kids about their family backgrounds, you really can't be blamed for this. I doubt you've done any emotional harm to the child - you certainly won't be the only person to ask her a question like that. I dare say you will cringe when you think about it for a while but it will pass and - on the positive side - a valuable life lesson has been learned.