I can’t live with my autistic sister anymore.

Everyday I dread waking up, what will today bring? Life is just so hard at the moment and it will be a lie if I say my sister isn’t a huge burden to the family. I’m scared I’m going to start resenting her.

I know she can’t help it and it’s not her fault but it’s putting a huge strain on the family. She’s 18 now and all she does is eat everything and watches tv. She will become aggressive if she doesn’t have a takeaway everyday and is always horrible to my mum and dad. It outs such a strain in their relationship and they tend to always argue. She’s just getting bigger and more aggressive, she has outbursts all the time and can be really dangerous. It never use to be like this, I feel like as she gets older she’s starting to decline, she’s not very able she doesn’t understand money or time she can’t really fend for herself my mum has to look after her. She can walk and talk and socialise to an extent. This causes problems as my mum can’t work a proper job as she has to be there for my sister, she works as a dinner lady as it’s only for a couple hours during the day which is manageable.

My sister refuses to go to any school or college, she’s rather stay at home and stuff her face. My mum never gets to go out or see her friends anymore and my dad has a hard time dealing with my sister; they clash a lot and are always arguing.

The house has become a miserable place to be in, it’s full of shouting and banging and once my sister is in a rage that’s it - things get broken and the foul language that leaves her mouth is shocking. I’m surprised the neighbours haven’t called the police. I’m scared to invite anyone round as I never know how the night will pan out and would be so embarrassed if my friends/relationships ever had to see that.

I’m currently at university so for the past two years I’ve managed to escape it however I’m on a placement year this year so I’m currently living at home and I can’t stand it anymore. I stay in my bedroom pretty much the whole time because I can’t deal with my sister and her attitude. She doesn’t do anything for herself, she’s lazy and doesn’t care about how she looks or how she treats people. She’s self centred everything has to be about her and what she wants to do. The weekends are planned around her mood and most of the time days out ends in arguments.

Day to day life isn’t simple as everything has to be a routine and god forbid if it doesn’t go her way, we can’t drive a certain route or we can’t shop at a certain shop, the tv has to be blasting loud and the door to the living room has to always be shut. It’s the small things that build up and create bigger problems. I’m dreading finishing uni and having to live at home full time, there’s no way I can afford to move out anytime soon but I feel like if I continue to live my life like this I’ll become more depressed as the days go by, it’s already bad enough we moved house and now I’m 45-60 mins away from my friends.

None of my friends understand what I have to deal with all the time and the worse thing is it’s always me that has to calm my sister down when she has a meltdown bc she only listen to me - well when she wants to - and it’s extremely draining and sometimes I can’t deal with it and I lash out and become really mean. I honestly don’t understand how my mum does ir, she doesn’t get a break and my dad isn’t much help - she’s asked the council, nhs, previous schools, anyone who’ll listen but she gets no help and has to deal with it alone. I’ve considered staying in a hotel a couple nights a week just to get away from it but it isn’t practical and I don’t have the money for it.

I just wish I could have a sibling like my friends do and have that bond. She’s 18 and I’m 22 we should be close and be going out clubbing etc together but realistically she’s about 5-8 and we couldn’t be anymore different. I’m worried for when my mum and dad pass, what am I meant to do with her ? Am I meant to take her on? She can never live independently, what does her future hold ? I just wish I could meet someone who understands

I don’t hate her or autistic people but life is very draining and I envy the people who get to live normal lives, I know it isn’t her fault and I know she wants to be “normal” as well but this constant dread and worry of what the next day will bring and what the mood of the house will be isn’t healthy.

Everyday I dread waking up, what will today bring? Life is just so hard at the moment and it will be a lie if I say my sister isn’t a huge burden to the family. I’m scared I’m going to start resenting her.

I know she can’t help it and it’s not her fault but it’s putting a huge strain on the family. She’s 18 now and all she does is eat everything and watches tv. She will become aggressive if she doesn’t have a takeaway everyday and is always horrible to my mum and dad. It outs such a strain in their relationship and they tend to always argue. She’s just getting bigger and more aggressive, she has outbursts all the time and can be really dangerous. It never use to be like this, I feel like as she gets older she’s starting to decline, she’s not very able she doesn’t understand money or time she can’t really fend for herself my mum has to look after her. She can walk and talk and socialise to an extent. This causes problems as my mum can’t work a proper job as she has to be there for my sister, she works as a dinner lady as it’s only for a couple hours during the day which is manageable.

My sister refuses to go to any school or college, she’s rather stay at home and stuff her face. My mum never gets to go out or see her friends anymore and my dad has a hard time dealing with my sister; they clash a lot and are always arguing.

The house has become a miserable place to be in, it’s full of shouting and banging and once my sister is in a rage that’s it - things get broken and the foul language that leaves her mouth is shocking. I’m surprised the neighbours haven’t called the police. I’m scared to invite anyone round as I never know how the night will pan out and would be so embarrassed if my friends/relationships ever had to see that.

I’m currently at university so for the past two years I’ve managed to escape it however I’m on a placement year this year so I’m currently living at home and I can’t stand it anymore. I stay in my bedroom pretty much the whole time because I can’t deal with my sister and her attitude. She doesn’t do anything for herself, she’s lazy and doesn’t care about how she looks or how she treats people. She’s self centred everything has to be about her and what she wants to do. The weekends are planned around her mood and most of the time days out ends in arguments.

Day to day life isn’t simple as everything has to be a routine and god forbid if it doesn’t go her way, we can’t drive a certain route or we can’t shop at a certain shop, the tv has to be blasting loud and the door to the living room has to always be shut. It’s the small things that build up and create bigger problems. I’m dreading finishing uni and having to live at home full time, there’s no way I can afford to move out anytime soon but I feel like if I continue to live my life like this I’ll become more depressed as the days go by, it’s already bad enough we moved house and now I’m 45-60 mins away from my friends.

None of my friends understand what I have to deal with all the time and the worse thing is it’s always me that has to calm my sister down when she has a meltdown bc she only listen to me - well when she wants to - and it’s extremely draining and sometimes I can’t deal with it and I lash out and become really mean. I honestly don’t understand how my mum does ir, she doesn’t get a break and my dad isn’t much help - she’s asked the council, nhs, previous schools, anyone who’ll listen but she gets no help and has to deal with it alone. I’ve considered staying in a hotel a couple nights a week just to get away from it but it isn’t practical and I don’t have the money for it.

I just wish I could have a sibling like my friends do and have that bond. She’s 18 and I’m 22 we should be close and be going out clubbing etc together but realistically she’s about 5-8 and we couldn’t be anymore different. I’m worried for when my mum and dad pass, what am I meant to do with her ? Am I meant to take her on? She can never live independently, what does her future hold ? I just wish I could meet someone who understands

I don’t hate her or autistic people but life is very draining and I envy the people who get to live normal lives, I know it isn’t her fault and I know she wants to be “normal” as well but this constant dread and worry of what the next day will bring and what the mood of the house will be isn’t healthy.

Everyday I dread waking up, what will today bring? Life is just so hard at the moment and it will be a lie if I say my sister isn’t a huge burden to the family. I’m scared I’m going to start resenting her.

I know she can’t help it and it’s not her fault but it’s putting a huge strain on the family. She’s 18 now and all she does is eat everything and watches tv. She will become aggressive if she doesn’t have a takeaway everyday and is always horrible to my mum and dad. It outs such a strain in their relationship and they tend to always argue. She’s just getting bigger and more aggressive, she has outbursts all the time and can be really dangerous. It never use to be like this, I feel like as she gets older she’s starting to decline, she’s not very able she doesn’t understand money or time she can’t really fend for herself my mum has to look after her. She can walk and talk and socialise to an extent. This causes problems as my mum can’t work a proper job as she has to be there for my sister, she works as a dinner lady as it’s only for a couple hours during the day which is manageable.

My sister refuses to go to any school or college, she’s rather stay at home and stuff her face. My mum never gets to go out or see her friends anymore and my dad has a hard time dealing with my sister; they clash a lot and are always arguing.

The house has become a miserable place to be in, it’s full of shouting and banging and once my sister is in a rage that’s it - things get broken and the foul language that leaves her mouth is shocking. I’m surprised the neighbours haven’t called the police. I’m scared to invite anyone round as I never know how the night will pan out and would be so embarrassed if my friends/relationships ever had to see that.

I’m currently at university so for the past two years I’ve managed to escape it however I’m on a placement year this year so I’m currently living at home and I can’t stand it anymore. I stay in my bedroom pretty much the whole time because I can’t deal with my sister and her attitude. She doesn’t do anything for herself, she’s lazy and doesn’t care about how she looks or how she treats people. She’s self centred everything has to be about her and what she wants to do. The weekends are planned around her mood and most of the time days out ends in arguments.

Day to day life isn’t simple as everything has to be a routine and god forbid if it doesn’t go her way, we can’t drive a certain route or we can’t shop at a certain shop, the tv has to be blasting loud and the door to the living room has to always be shut. It’s the small things that build up and create bigger problems. I’m dreading finishing uni and having to live at home full time, there’s no way I can afford to move out anytime soon but I feel like if I continue to live my life like this I’ll become more depressed as the days go by, it’s already bad enough we moved house and now I’m 45-60 mins away from my friends.

None of my friends understand what I have to deal with all the time and the worse thing is it’s always me that has to calm my sister down when she has a meltdown bc she only listen to me - well when she wants to - and it’s extremely draining and sometimes I can’t deal with it and I lash out and become really mean. I honestly don’t understand how my mum does ir, she doesn’t get a break and my dad isn’t much help - she’s asked the council, nhs, previous schools, anyone who’ll listen but she gets no help and has to deal with it alone. I’ve considered staying in a hotel a couple nights a week just to get away from it but it isn’t practical and I don’t have the money for it.

I just wish I could have a sibling like my friends do and have that bond. She’s 18 and I’m 22 we should be close and be going out clubbing etc together but realistically she’s about 5-8 and we couldn’t be anymore different. I’m worried for when my mum and dad pass, what am I meant to do with her ? Am I meant to take her on? She can never live independently, what does her future hold ? I just wish I could meet someone who understands

I don’t hate her or autistic people but life is very draining and I envy the people who get to live normal lives, I know it isn’t her fault and I know she wants to be “normal” as well but this constant dread and worry of what the next day will bring and what the mood of the house will be isn’t healthy.

Everyday I dread waking up, what will today bring? Life is just so hard at the moment and it will be a lie if I say my sister isn’t a huge burden to the family. I’m scared I’m going to start resenting her.

I know she can’t help it and it’s not her fault but it’s putting a huge strain on the family. She’s 18 now and all she does is eat everything and watches tv. She will become aggressive if she doesn’t have a takeaway everyday and is always horrible to my mum and dad. It outs such a strain in their relationship and they tend to always argue. She’s just getting bigger and more aggressive, she has outbursts all the time and can be really dangerous. It never use to be like this, I feel like as she gets older she’s starting to decline, she’s not very able she doesn’t understand money or time she can’t really fend for herself my mum has to look after her. She can walk and talk and socialise to an extent. This causes problems as my mum can’t work a proper job as she has to be there for my sister, she works as a dinner lady as it’s only for a couple hours during the day which is manageable.

My sister refuses to go to any school or college, she’s rather stay at home and stuff her face. My mum never gets to go out or see her friends anymore and my dad has a hard time dealing with my sister; they clash a lot and are always arguing.

The house has become a miserable place to be in, it’s full of shouting and banging and once my sister is in a rage that’s it - things get broken and the foul language that leaves her mouth is shocking. I’m surprised the neighbours haven’t called the police. I’m scared to invite anyone round as I never know how the night will pan out and would be so embarrassed if my friends/relationships ever had to see that.

I’m currently at university so for the past two years I’ve managed to escape it however I’m on a placement year this year so I’m currently living at home and I can’t stand it anymore. I stay in my bedroom pretty much the whole time because I can’t deal with my sister and her attitude. She doesn’t do anything for herself, she’s lazy and doesn’t care about how she looks or how she treats people. She’s self centred everything has to be about her and what she wants to do. The weekends are planned around her mood and most of the time days out ends in arguments.

Day to day life isn’t simple as everything has to be a routine and god forbid if it doesn’t go her way, we can’t drive a certain route or we can’t shop at a certain shop, the tv has to be blasting loud and the door to the living room has to always be shut. It’s the small things that build up and create bigger problems. I’m dreading finishing uni and having to live at home full time, there’s no way I can afford to move out anytime soon but I feel like if I continue to live my life like this I’ll become more depressed as the days go by, it’s already bad enough we moved house and now I’m 45-60 mins away from my friends.

None of my friends understand what I have to deal with all the time and the worse thing is it’s always me that has to calm my sister down when she has a meltdown bc she only listen to me - well when she wants to - and it’s extremely draining and sometimes I can’t deal with it and I lash out and become really mean. I honestly don’t understand how my mum does ir, she doesn’t get a break and my dad isn’t much help - she’s asked the council, nhs, previous schools, anyone who’ll listen but she gets no help and has to deal with it alone. I’ve considered staying in a hotel a couple nights a week just to get away from it but it isn’t practical and I don’t have the money for it.

I just wish I could have a sibling like my friends do and have that bond. She’s 18 and I’m 22 we should be close and be going out clubbing etc together but realistically she’s about 5-8 and we couldn’t be anymore different. I’m worried for when my mum and dad pass, what am I meant to do with her ? Am I meant to take her on? She can never live independently, what does her future hold ? I just wish I could meet someone who understands

I don’t hate her or autistic people but life is very draining and I envy the people who get to live normal lives, I know it isn’t her fault and I know she wants to be “normal” as well but this constant dread and worry of what the next day will bring and what the mood of the house will be isn’t healthy.

Everyday I dread waking up, what will today bring? Life is just so hard at the moment and it will be a lie if I say my sister isn’t a huge burden to the family. I’m scared I’m going to start resenting her.

I know she can’t help it and it’s not her fault but it’s putting a huge strain on the family. She’s 18 now and all she does is eat everything and watches tv. She will become aggressive if she doesn’t have a takeaway everyday and is always horrible to my mum and dad. It outs such a strain in their relationship and they tend to always argue. She’s just getting bigger and more aggressive, she has outbursts all the time and can be really dangerous. It never use to be like this, I feel like as she gets older she’s starting to decline, she’s not very able she doesn’t understand money or time she can’t really fend for herself my mum has to look after her. She can walk and talk and socialise to an extent. This causes problems as my mum can’t work a proper job as she has to be there for my sister, she works as a dinner lady as it’s only for a couple hours during the day which is manageable.

My sister refuses to go to any school or college, she’s rather stay at home and stuff her face. My mum never gets to go out or see her friends anymore and my dad has a hard time dealing with my sister; they clash a lot and are always arguing.

The house has become a miserable place to be in, it’s full of shouting and banging and once my sister is in a rage that’s it - things get broken and the foul language that leaves her mouth is shocking. I’m surprised the neighbours haven’t called the police. I’m scared to invite anyone round as I never know how the night will pan out and would be so embarrassed if my friends/relationships ever had to see that.

I’m currently at university so for the past two years I’ve managed to escape it however I’m on a placement year this year so I’m currently living at home and I can’t stand it anymore. I stay in my bedroom pretty much the whole time because I can’t deal with my sister and her attitude. She doesn’t do anything for herself, she’s lazy and doesn’t care about how she looks or how she treats people. She’s self centred everything has to be about her and what she wants to do. The weekends are planned around her mood and most of the time days out ends in arguments.

Day to day life isn’t simple as everything has to be a routine and god forbid if it doesn’t go her way, we can’t drive a certain route or we can’t shop at a certain shop, the tv has to be blasting loud and the door to the living room has to always be shut. It’s the small things that build up and create bigger problems. I’m dreading finishing uni and having to live at home full time, there’s no way I can afford to move out anytime soon but I feel like if I continue to live my life like this I’ll become more depressed as the days go by, it’s already bad enough we moved house and now I’m 45-60 mins away from my friends.

None of my friends understand what I have to deal with all the time and the worse thing is it’s always me that has to calm my sister down when she has a meltdown bc she only listen to me - well when she wants to - and it’s extremely draining and sometimes I can’t deal with it and I lash out and become really mean. I honestly don’t understand how my mum does ir, she doesn’t get a break and my dad isn’t much help - she’s asked the council, nhs, previous schools, anyone who’ll listen but she gets no help and has to deal with it alone. I’ve considered staying in a hotel a couple nights a week just to get away from it but it isn’t practical and I don’t have the money for it.

I just wish I could have a sibling like my friends do and have that bond. She’s 18 and I’m 22 we should be close and be going out clubbing etc together but realistically she’s about 5-8 and we couldn’t be anymore different. I’m worried for when my mum and dad pass, what am I meant to do with her ? Am I meant to take her on? She can never live independently, what does her future hold ? I just wish I could meet someone who understands

I don’t hate her or autistic people but life is very draining and I envy the people who get to live normal lives, I know it isn’t her fault and I know she wants to be “normal” as well but this constant dread and worry of what the next day will bring and what the mood of the house will be isn’t healthy.

Hi
My brother is a person with autism aswell it’s the reverse situation with me . My brother is 20 and I’m 17 but I take care of him as he low functioning on the spectrum and he is non-verbal . My brother is very tame and calm and his only enjoyment in life is listening to music . I cannot relate to your feeling of resentment towards your sibling but do have some advice .

To be honest and no disrespect warranted but I think your allowing her to decline it is clear that she could be enabled to be independent however your families lackadaisical approach to her care is disabling her from advancement into adulthood.

Despite being low functioning my brother has hobbies which keep him occupied and allow him to stay active and engaged.He also attends 18+ special school . You need to take her to adult day care services within your local area. You need to distance her from TV and other objects that keep her performing these maladaptive behaviours. Most importantly your parents need to have a firm hand on her as they are not treating her normally. Despite being a person with autism she is an adult and should be disciplined as such .Please try to tap into her hobbies outside of eating and tv so she can start being a productive human being . If this behaviour persists you can get social workers involved and they can formulate a care plan which will allow her to do things outside the home. My brother receives moneys to pay for his social care and activities like trampolining , cinema , horse riding etc .

In conclusion she needs to go outside and do stuff and activities so she can evolve as an adult and become slightly autonomous. The future of becoming a caregiver is uncomfortable but it will be even more stressful if you don’t but things in place NOW to adjust her behaviour before she becomes uncontrollably in older age .

Also I thought maybe u could in the future refer to your sister as a “person with autism” isn’t of autistic sister. Even though she being a monster right now . She is a human being before she is autistic yk .
-appleonly

Or maybe the OP could continue to use the format preferred by the autistic community (or community with autism) these days (I get where you are coming from on this, but what on earth does it say about us non-autistics if we don't listen to what they say?)