Original post by soaapWalaikumassalam brother or sister, sorry I can't tell. Thank you for your kind and beautifully worded reply. Well, I think most people want to look good, and what matters most is that they feel they look good. I don't feel that at all in hijab, which is my issue, I realise after reading your post. Obviously, there is a difference between adorning ourself (forbidden) and merely looking good, wearing nice simple clothing - my biggest issue is my parents not liking my wearing skirts/abayas, so the options I have rarely look good. Although I won't lie, part of me definitely wants validation for my looks as you said. Your point about it being a quick dopamine hit is wonderful and definitely true. Sometimes cashiers treat me coldly and silently when they treat other customers so kindly and friendly, mostly the women, and I feel like I've lost that person connection with strangers just by looking Muslim so I just want to look as nice possible.
Thank you, unfortunately I think women will get lustful stares from men even in niqab, but that's not our fault. I've definitely been making dua for myself and I do feel better. I've seen that video before appear on my page but never watched it, I definitely will today InshaAllah.
By the way, I know this isn't related, but do you have any advice what to do regarding my parents situation? See, if they find out I wear skirt frequently secretly they will get so angry. The day my mother found out I used black cloth to cover my arms in school on own clothes day because the sleeves were 3/4, I cannot explain to you just how angry she got, saying I am too young, too extreme, what will people think, you are only 14, this is not what Islam says (she is a hijabi but doesnt believe you need to cover up that much), read it in more detail, etc. That day she blew up over such a small thing and it genuinely scared me, I have never been scared of my mother before that. My father is the one who opposes me wearing skirts and abayas, he says it looks like romanians or something? who have a bad reputation, but i have heard of this before, and i look most nice and muslim and a good representation of muslim in abayas, but they dont agree, obviously, obey no one if it is disobeying Allah, so I put skirts on when I go outside. But i fear one day they will find out, and I feel genuinely terrified for that day. Do you have any advice? It's fine if not.
Jazakallah for your amazing response, and Eid Mubarak whether you celebrate today or yesterday.