Relationship Advice - does he like me or not?
Hi,
I'm looking for advice on what to do about a crush that I have on a guy from my school.
I have a crush on this guy who gets on/off my bus every morning/night at my stop, but I don't know whether he reciprocates my feelings. For context, I never intended to even speak to him, but about 4 months ago, he ended up asking me which stop I got off at, and a few days later I apologized through a written note because I felt like I'd been rude (I'd been asleep next to him and then moved away because i thought I was annoying him). I had no intention of talking to him again, but when I showed him the note he laughed it off nicely and asked for my name, and we got to speaking from there. I'm trying to push my feelings out of this and just be friends with him (because I spend a lot of time on the bus and it would be nice to have a friend who relates), but it's difficult to read his intentions and whether he even wants to be friends at all, as he sends very mixed signals (but I might just be reading them wrong).
For example, he's very hot and cold with communication; we had a time where he spent the full bus journey (up to 2 hours) talking to me, seeming really engaged and telling/showing me a lot of semi-personal stuff about his life. He even teased me a little and we had a good laugh, but then he didn't speak to me for days/weeks on end. Even when we did speak, he was very short with his answers. I took the hint, and laid off talking to him, figuring he wasn't interested in friendship or anything more. However, I eventually sent him a message a month later (apologizing for something that, in hindsight, was pretty trivial) and he responded straight away even though he wasn't active at the time - he does this every time I've messaged, and he also continues to follow me and like my posts almost immediately.
Further, often when we haven't spoken for ages (and I've again, taken the hint), he'll ask to sit next to me on the bus. He does this when there are other seats free that he could use, so if he really hated me then he could just avoid me completely - but instead he sits next to me, says 1-2 sentences and then goes to sleep (which to be fair, we first started speaking because I fell asleep next to him). I've noticed that he's recently started leaning on me a lot more (physically) when he does this, even when we are not going round a corner, and he's been getting a lot physically closer - but he never says anything when he wakes up (and I can't tell if he even notices that he's done it), and when the bus gets emptier, he'll ask if I mind if he moves away (and then moves).
For further context, his body language is quite mixed too - sometimes he smiles and makes eye contact, but he's told me a couple of times that he's 'blind' and hasn't seen me when I've been less than 2 feet away from him - but then has asked me about a mutual friend whom he saw me speaking with from 10+ feet away. His eye contact isn't super consistent either - sometimes he'll maintain it, other times not.
Has anyone else experienced this from either perspective/has any suggestions as to what might be going on? I feel that I'm just annoying him if I'm trying to be friends with him, and I can't decisively tell whether he might reciprocate feelings either - but every time I try to let go, he appears again. As far as I can tell, he isn't aware that I feel this way. Any advice is much appreciated.
I'm looking for advice on what to do about a crush that I have on a guy from my school.
I have a crush on this guy who gets on/off my bus every morning/night at my stop, but I don't know whether he reciprocates my feelings. For context, I never intended to even speak to him, but about 4 months ago, he ended up asking me which stop I got off at, and a few days later I apologized through a written note because I felt like I'd been rude (I'd been asleep next to him and then moved away because i thought I was annoying him). I had no intention of talking to him again, but when I showed him the note he laughed it off nicely and asked for my name, and we got to speaking from there. I'm trying to push my feelings out of this and just be friends with him (because I spend a lot of time on the bus and it would be nice to have a friend who relates), but it's difficult to read his intentions and whether he even wants to be friends at all, as he sends very mixed signals (but I might just be reading them wrong).
For example, he's very hot and cold with communication; we had a time where he spent the full bus journey (up to 2 hours) talking to me, seeming really engaged and telling/showing me a lot of semi-personal stuff about his life. He even teased me a little and we had a good laugh, but then he didn't speak to me for days/weeks on end. Even when we did speak, he was very short with his answers. I took the hint, and laid off talking to him, figuring he wasn't interested in friendship or anything more. However, I eventually sent him a message a month later (apologizing for something that, in hindsight, was pretty trivial) and he responded straight away even though he wasn't active at the time - he does this every time I've messaged, and he also continues to follow me and like my posts almost immediately.
Further, often when we haven't spoken for ages (and I've again, taken the hint), he'll ask to sit next to me on the bus. He does this when there are other seats free that he could use, so if he really hated me then he could just avoid me completely - but instead he sits next to me, says 1-2 sentences and then goes to sleep (which to be fair, we first started speaking because I fell asleep next to him). I've noticed that he's recently started leaning on me a lot more (physically) when he does this, even when we are not going round a corner, and he's been getting a lot physically closer - but he never says anything when he wakes up (and I can't tell if he even notices that he's done it), and when the bus gets emptier, he'll ask if I mind if he moves away (and then moves).
For further context, his body language is quite mixed too - sometimes he smiles and makes eye contact, but he's told me a couple of times that he's 'blind' and hasn't seen me when I've been less than 2 feet away from him - but then has asked me about a mutual friend whom he saw me speaking with from 10+ feet away. His eye contact isn't super consistent either - sometimes he'll maintain it, other times not.
Has anyone else experienced this from either perspective/has any suggestions as to what might be going on? I feel that I'm just annoying him if I'm trying to be friends with him, and I can't decisively tell whether he might reciprocate feelings either - but every time I try to let go, he appears again. As far as I can tell, he isn't aware that I feel this way. Any advice is much appreciated.
You have fallen in the "Condusion Trap", and the other person seems to be a player.
If he would have behaved in extreme manner, I.e either too much talk or no talk at all, you would have been clear. But when your brain is not able to decide what to do, it is then when it keeps thinking on the incident and person. When you think more about the person you register the person in your mind.
I would suggest first bring your emotions down, with an emotional mind you will not make a logical decision.
Once he is out of your mind. Then logically think do you really like him. But it has to be when you are in a logical state of mind.
If he would have behaved in extreme manner, I.e either too much talk or no talk at all, you would have been clear. But when your brain is not able to decide what to do, it is then when it keeps thinking on the incident and person. When you think more about the person you register the person in your mind.
I would suggest first bring your emotions down, with an emotional mind you will not make a logical decision.
Once he is out of your mind. Then logically think do you really like him. But it has to be when you are in a logical state of mind.
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