Okay OP, you need to take a breath.
Stop ****ging your mum off, you're frustrated and that's understandable but by continually dredging up the negative things you feel towards her you will only make it worse for yourself.
As others have said - you need to sit down and talk to her. Don't say 'oh it won't work she's this she's that', you need to actually try first regardless of conversations you may have had in the past. I understand that because you dislike her you don't want to but she's your mum, you need to be honest with her. Don't use the conversation as an opportunity to put her down or attack her character, instead express how you feel - "when you do X mum, it makes me feel X" for example. It sounds like your mum has it pretty tough, parents aren't infallible just because they're a parent!
It sounds like a lot of this is a matter of a low opinion of your mum and how you want her to act. Expecting someone to behave differently to their 'default' without having a productive conversation prior will only set you up for more misery - your mum doesn't know how deeply this is bothering you right now so how can she possibly know that she needs to address how she acts sometimes. Secondly, is this a matter of how you think your mum should act and because she's not, you've found every possible flaw in her personality?
You need to cut her a break, as you've said she's had a lot going on and grief has different effects on different people. Your mum may also be feeling you push her away and subconsciously be pushing to keep you closer, like you said she only has you. You've spent this thread talking about every possible way to negatively describe her, I hope it was cathartic to get it out but you need to leave it at that. I'm not disputing that she is displaying some unhealthy behaviour, but so are you. It's very easy to lash out at those closest to us, but you need to detach from this state of heightened emotion and remind yourself of all the ways that she is a good mum despite these challenges.
In terms of her being 'ghetto', I don't know what you mean by that but you should ask yourself why her behaviour in this aspect bothers you, is it because of what people might think or is it because you have expectations of her to be someone she's not.
In terms of yourself, you really need to speak to your GP about your mental health. You mentioned that sometimes you feel "like I wanna die I hate my life!", that isn't something that is your mum's fault. You may think because it is difficult co-existing that you are forced into feeling that way but that is a feeling that comes from within you and isn't something you should leave alone. You need to speak to a professional about these thoughts so that not only your life can improve but so can mum's.
It's clear it won't be easy to confront, but wanting to 'reject' your mum rather than making a conscious and mature effort to confront the issues and improve your relationship shows that you are certainly playing a part in the problem. I hope you have the conversation, I hope that you approach it with sensitivity and I hope that you use this opportunity to take a look at yourself as well. You both deserve better.