Did I date a narc? Dodged a bullet...

So now I've sat back and debriefed with myself and my friends I seriously think I was dating someone that may have had NPD or an attachment disorder.

I didn't really spot these red flags because I was caught up in the moment. We have all done it I guess?

She was love-bombing me a lot, especially to make me exclusive within 2.5 weeks after we met. She would say she wanted long-term and eventually kids/marriage but not now, in the future.

She had this need for attention, especially via text and in person, like I had to say Good Morning, Good night and she would send like 20 messages on Instagram and multiple on Whatsapp if I didn't reply sometimes.

She had a lot of deep-down insecurities about herself and would often not want to talk about stuff like the past. I had a look at her social footprint and it looks like she had a long-term relationship which ended recently too, like November/December and sort of may have had a break too.

All of her friends have relationship issues and she would be very controlling in some of the situations we spoke about - I never ever realised what that was all about, especially her work where she no longer has a job as they didn't offer a contract.

She also sees a therapist, but I never dwelved into why.

Before she ended things, we slept with each other and I started to open up more to her. As soon as I did that....

She ended things with me recently, but then tried to manipulate my feelings and would then chase me after she initially backed off. She has since then rang me to get a reaction, and posted stuff on social media to get a reaction from me. Including posting a selfie with a guy (When she never ever does this stuff, not even with her girls).

I've muted her story and now trying to distance myself even more, but I actually feel emotionally drained now...

Reply 1

Goldengirl485

Yes! My ex husband was a narc and there are some similar traits in your story. They are very selfish who like things their own way and aren't willing to compromise

(edited 11 months ago)

Reply 2

ConcordeBA

Original post by Goldengirl485

Yes! My ex husband was a narc and there are some similar traits in your story. They are very selfish who like things their own way and aren't willing to compromise

I always am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason and this taught me a valuable lesson not to get close to people who love bomb. Or make demands early on. Okay I was attentive but I didn't step the line.

It hurts because my emotions have been messed about with and still are in small manipulative ways of social media.

What we're the similar traits if you don't mind me asking?