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Is it rude to admit it's all about looks?

As a girl I'm not going to lie and I honestly have to say that for romantic relationships it's all about looks. Looks is the most important point. All the excuses of "personality" (lol) or similar are BS, if I'm not interested in a guy it's because of looks. And all my friends are the same, we talk about guys' looks, about the ones we like lookswise, not about "personality" lol. For example we all like a very good looking guy from school who rarely talks to us, we really don't care if he's shy or whatever.
Is it rude to admit it? Do people usually don't say this because they would be perceived as rude? Anonymous because I don't know if it's rude or not

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Original post by Anonymous
As a girl I'm not going to lie and I honestly have to say that for romantic relationships it's all about looks. Looks is the most important point. All the excuses of "personality" (lol) or similar are BS, if I'm not interested in a guy it's because of looks. And all my friends are the same, we talk about guys' looks, about the ones we like lookswise, not about "personality" lol. For example we all like a very good looking guy from school who rarely talks to us, we really don't care if he's shy or whatever.
Is it rude to admit it? Do people usually don't say this because they would be perceived as rude? Anonymous because I don't know if it's rude or not


It is rude because it isn’t about looks you could look to get yourself the boy that you want but if he doesn’t come with the qualities, characteristics and correct personality is he really for you…
It means you are shallow and don't value people, sounds more immature than rude tbh but you are just a kid.
It is not just about looks. A loving relationship, the emotional bond, the companionship, etc. require a lot more than just looks.

You are still at school, so you are yet to realise this.
Original post by StriderHort
It means you are shallow and don't value people, sounds more immature than rude tbh but you are just a kid.

Yeah, this is the main thing.

Original post by Crazed cat lady
It is not just about looks. A loving relationship, the emotional bond, the companionship, etc. require a lot more than just looks.


This user expained it very well - you'll find that once you've been in a few romantic relationships you'll come to realise that actually looks don't matter all that much at all. Sure, they're a pretty good catalyst to meet up with people, since more people will apporach you if you're more traditionally good-looking, but in the long run the personality is what makes or breaks a relationship. Now i'm not going to be prudish and tell you what you should look for in a person, I'm going to be completely honest. If you're looking for a one-night-stand, then by all means just look for someone you're particularly aesthetically attracted to (as long as they're willing to provide a SAFE ENVIRONMENT. That's VERY important). But if you want a longer, more fulfilling relationship, going just by looks is really not going to benefit you or your potential partner in the long run. There are various different kinds of attractions people can experience (go google the split-attraction model, I promise I'm not the most well-versed person out there in the science behind it), and aesthetic attraction ("wow that person is hot") is one kind, but there are also things which are different such as sexual attraction ("wow I wanna **** them"), romantic attraction ("wow I love them romantically"), platonic attraction ("wow I love them, we're besties") etc. However, these are all fundamentally different emotional responses which express themselves in different ways and serve different purposes in your life. It's very important to remember that how somebody looks is not any indication of how they treat people, or of what they're actually like as a person. You could look like Superman, but if you have the personality of Elon Musk nobody is going to want to date you after more than a casual conversation. Similarly, if you look like the back end of a donkey but you make people happy, you're going to fare a lot better.

TL;DR while looks are definitely a part of attraction, they are by no means the most important factor (and arguably the least) in a fulfilling and healthy relationship.
I think that for a lot of people attraction is the first prospect at a relationship (As more often than not you see them before talking to them). Typically if you see someone you like, you will be encouraged to get to know them more. However personality, connection etc plays (should play) a much bigger role overall and if that isnt the case you will probably end up dissatisfied. ~ F r o g
oops i forgot you can't swear on tsr, my bad
Original post by LazyLexi
oops i forgot you can't swear on tsr, my bad


lmao, your answer was very good. 11/10 insults big man Elon
Looks fade. If you're wanting to spend your life with someone, neither of you are going to be smoking hot when you're 70 years old. If you aren't compatible personality-wise, then you'll just be left miserable.
No as long as you don't go around calling those who disagree with you, liars. It's all about looks for you. Other people may be different. If you respect that, you will be ok.
Of course all your friends feel the same... no doubt you are friends with likeminded, similarly shallow girls. When you grow up you'll realise it takes more for a relationship to work than looks. At the end of the day, you aren't going to spend all your time with that person staring at them or *******, so you need more than just looks.
I know you may fundamentally disagree with the OP but dont be to mean to them
I can tell you're very young and don't properly understand what a romantic relationship actually is. If you got with that good-looking guy the sex or whatever may be amazing to begin with but then if it turns out you have nothing in common as people, don't get on, there isn't a romantic spark then it's very unlikely to last. Remember, most of the time you spend with your partner is not going to be spent having sex, so if the non sexual aspect is crap then it 100% won't last. You'll learn this in time though, don't worry.
Original post by Anonymous
As a girl I'm not going to lie and I honestly have to say that for romantic relationships it's all about looks. Looks is the most important point. All the excuses of "personality" (lol) or similar are BS, if I'm not interested in a guy it's because of looks. And all my friends are the same, we talk about guys' looks, about the ones we like lookswise, not about "personality" lol. For example we all like a very good looking guy from school who rarely talks to us, we really don't care if he's shy or whatever.
Is it rude to admit it? Do people usually don't say this because they would be perceived as rude? Anonymous because I don't know if it's rude or not


You sound really shallow which is sad. Thankfully, not everyone is like you. (:
Yes it is to an extent but unfortunately unless you are really good looking in most cases it is really difficult to get an attractive partner, especially if you are a straight guy so you have to look at other factors. Really attractive girls have huge choice and in my experience nearly always go for good looking guys or you try and get to know them and they just ignore you or worse. To be honest it is brutal how some of them behave.
Reply 15
I don’t think it is rude, even refreshingly candid. Mind you, while initial attraction is all about looks, in a long term relationship I would say attractiveness is pretty close to equally balanced between appearance and personality. And of course who you find very attractive and who you can attract is another consideration
I think it’s very shallow. How would you feel if your boyfriend told you that he was only with you because of your looks? Or if a guy you were interested in told you he rejected you because he did not find you attractive enough? I also think that it’s incredibly shallow to think if someone genuinely loves someone’s personality, then it’s bs. Looks fade, and if you do not have a strong emotional bond, then your relationship will too. I would never say that I only care about looks, not because it is shallow, but because I don’t feel that way. Personality is far more valuable than looks. I would rather be in a relationship with someone that loves me and treats me well, than be in a relationship with someone that simply finds me attractive and treats me like a trophy.
It's a difficult one really, on the one hand you are being honest about an aspect of human life for both men and women where our instincts take over whether it be looks, wealth, attraction to someone who is good socially etc. On the other hand there is what actually makes a relationship work?

Getting with someone because their looks, wealthy or social ability attracted us without us even thinking about it well it could be seen as both superficial and natural. I think most of us hold done level of superficiality about us so I wouldn't ever berate anyone for it so long as it's not too openly admitted like telling others why looks, wealth, etc are so important. It could no doubt be unpleasant for anyone to find out that someone is with them for their looks or wealth or social ability, etc.

So what then? We are clearly attracted to others based on those attributes. I would say while stuff such as looks may always likely kick in for you try and find out about them as well. If you look them up on Facebook, what are they into? Is it saving the planet? Is it sports? Is it partying? Is it animals? Is it motorbikes or cars? Is it construction? Is it DIY? Is it something charitable? Is it something religious? Is it something Political? Etc, etc...

So how would you match with any off the above? If they are a 'Just Stop Oil' supporter and you couldn't give a damn about that stuff would you be really suited or able to get on the same wavelength? Or if they were a Manchester United football fan and you couldn't stand football or supported their evil arch rival club, what then?

So I won't berate you for what many of us do, I have done too, but what I would say is treat that as the first stage and move on quick to find out about them whether it's on social media or through talking to them, even listening. Anything that takes you beyond the visually stunning aspect and onto whether they could be anything more than pleasant eye candy.
Original post by Anonymous
As a girl I'm not going to lie and I honestly have to say that for romantic relationships it's all about looks. Looks is the most important point. All the excuses of "personality" (lol) or similar are BS, if I'm not interested in a guy it's because of looks. And all my friends are the same, we talk about guys' looks, about the ones we like lookswise, not about "personality" lol. For example we all like a very good looking guy from school who rarely talks to us, we really don't care if he's shy or whatever.
Is it rude to admit it? Do people usually don't say this because they would be perceived as rude? Anonymous because I don't know if it's rude or not

it's completely normal to feel attracted to someone without regards to their personality, but by that i mean shallow attraction. a deep connection and relationship is not about looks
Gets even more difficult when you consider sex. What about having sex with someone you don't feel attracted to looks wise?

What about having sex with someone you find ugly? - my guess is that few people venture there, possibly if drunk, then maybe.

Indeed a lot of people may struggle to have sex with someone they find ugly looks wise even if they get in with the well personality wise.

Someone you don't find attractive looks wise but don't find ugly either but get on well with them personality wise then maybe sex is possible in a sober state of mind depending on the persons involved.

So a relationship without sex, usually a non starter I would have thought for most people.

So can we really have a relationship without sone superficiality also being in the mix? Or does looks become less of an issue to having sex once we come to realise that looks aren't perhaps worth as much as we might think they are?

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