Anger issues

I have anger issues. Basically what happens is that when I’m triggered I start saying things that I know will hurt your feelings. It’s like I’m blind and my only aim is to hurt you. I can’t control it. I regret it afterwords but in the moment I don’t think of anyone or anything. Also I just start talking and I don’t stop. I’ve once fought on text with my bf for 8 hours straight. I need help to control it because I don’t want to loose the people that I care about. Some told me to listen to music but in the moment I literally can’t even think. Any advice?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Original post by Gigi310

I have anger issues. Basically what happens is that when I’m triggered I start saying things that I know will hurt your feelings. It’s like I’m blind and my only aim is to hurt you. I can’t control it. I regret it afterwords but in the moment I don’t think of anyone or anything. Also I just start talking and I don’t stop. I’ve once fought on text with my bf for 8 hours straight. I need help to control it because I don’t want to loose the people that I care about. Some told me to listen to music but in the moment I literally can’t even think. Any advice?

Bro you're jus like I was fr. I used to love hurting people and watching them have nothing to say to me when I was triggered. Been told I was a sadist on multiple occasions.

Honestly, it's down to you if you wanna fix up. For me it was just my childhood that led me to be that type of person and I hated it. For this reason I would hold my tongue around the people I loved by doing simple stuff like counting to 10 in my head or taking 10 breaths.

Sounds cliché but its the steps you take to ensure and inform your brain that you hate being that kind of person that lead to you being able to control your anger. In other words, try to make sure you're in control and not your stupid angry thoughts because as unfortunate as it is - your brain does not have a brain. :biggrin:

Reply 2

Zarek

21

Try some counselling, if you get someone you relate to it can really help. Also with experience of how things turn out with anger management difficulties most people can moderate a bit. Mind you, you can’t change your personality entirely, even if you wanted to

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Gigi310

I have anger issues. Basically what happens is that when I’m triggered I start saying things that I know will hurt your feelings. It’s like I’m blind and my only aim is to hurt you. I can’t control it. I regret it afterwords but in the moment I don’t think of anyone or anything. Also I just start talking and I don’t stop. I’ve once fought on text with my bf for 8 hours straight. I need help to control it because I don’t want to loose the people that I care about. Some told me to listen to music but in the moment I literally can’t even think. Any advice?

As someone with anger management issues this is probably the result of trauma. If you find yourself comparing relationships where you have ones you can be more regularly set off and others where you feel more stable, consider which ones you want to cut off.

And honestly, u need to be there for urself when you're feeling low even if that removing yourself from a situation likely to escalate but telling your boyfriend you do care, u just need time to calm down.

And as someone who has just recently broken up with their boyfriend of 3+ years, remember this. You can be a good person in a bad circumstance, but you can't be a good person in a bad relationship. If distinguishing that difference, hurt you, highly consider breaking up.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post by Gigi310

I have anger issues. Basically what happens is that when I’m triggered I start saying things that I know will hurt your feelings. It’s like I’m blind and my only aim is to hurt you. I can’t control it. I regret it afterwords but in the moment I don’t think of anyone or anything. Also I just start talking and I don’t stop. I’ve once fought on text with my bf for 8 hours straight. I need help to control it because I don’t want to loose the people that I care about. Some told me to listen to music but in the moment I literally can’t even think. Any advice?

This is a good trait and a bad trait at the same time.

I am perhaps the person who can get the angriest in my whole school (ooh yes, even teachers then fear me hahha, and all the students then become pretty damn civil with me). Nothing physical as such, but I instantly shift to 'Hulk'-like mentality. And this has happened only twice, when a few people insulted my mother. For me, there is nothing that makes me angry as much, but when someone does this sole action of insulting my parents, especially mom, I become bloody furious.

Limit the scope of things you can get angry on. Perhaps this is happening because there is past trauma or such, or things are not looking too high these days? I mean having anger is a really good trait, but do not use the howitzer for friendly fire (metaphor) :smile:

Listening to music also works, I listen to military-like music, or ''evergreen'' music (the one that cheers you up regardless, some English examples would be Twelve Door Cinema Club for instance)

I hope my advice/info helps you in some way.

Reply 5

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

As someone with anger management issues this is probably the result of trauma. If you find yourself comparing relationships where you have ones you can be more regularly set off and others where you feel more stable, consider which ones you want to cut off.

And honestly, u need to be there for urself when you're feeling low even if that removing yourself from a situation likely to escalate but telling your boyfriend you do care, u just need time to calm down.

And as someone who has just recently broken up with their boyfriend of 3+ years, remember this. You can be a good person in a bad circumstance, but you can't be a good person in a bad relationship. If distinguishing that difference, hurt you, highly consider breaking up.

I get you. As a child my father was an alcoholic and drug addict. He abused my mother and was imprisoned. My parents split up. After he got out he got better. Now he’s been falsely accused of fraud and I haven’t seen him in 5 months. Let’s not forget the financial problems too and now we can’t renew our civil ids because he’s awol. I think this counts as trauma

Reply 6

JJ good girl

8

Original post by Gigi310

I have anger issues. Basically what happens is that when I’m triggered I start saying things that I know will hurt your feelings. It’s like I’m blind and my only aim is to hurt you. I can’t control it. I regret it afterwords but in the moment I don’t think of anyone or anything. Also I just start talking and I don’t stop. I’ve once fought on text with my bf for 8 hours straight. I need help to control it because I don’t want to loose the people that I care about. Some told me to listen to music but in the moment I literally can’t even think. Any advice?

I get angry when I'm drunk

Anger issues

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