The Student Room Group

uni wasn’t what i expected it to be at all and it’s made me depressed

hello, i’ve had a **** time at uni (i’ve just finished second year) and there’s a few reasons. some of them being my fault. but i feel like ultimately i’ll just have to live with having had a pretty *****y uni experience with no chance of redemption

i’ll give a brief overview of my uni life so far - i’m an individual with quite a bit of baggage, it’s impacted me greatly. so i didn’t give off the best impression of myself when i got drunk with my flatmates and just generally with people during freshers. people knew me as someone who liked to party and get messed up, but i’d be ostracised because i’m a bit loud and can be rude with a dark humour. basically people misinterpret me

anyway, i broke up with my girl, and some love triangle bs happened within my friendship group. which means we all split up and didn’t really have close friendships as a group anymore. this has made me basically become a social recluse, because some friends are in relationships. it’s left me super lonely because i don’t have oppurtunities to pull, and because of my initial impressions on people, i don’t really have any friends to go out with.

i’ve messed up most chance i’ve had in uni with girls because i’ve been too drunk. and at this stage it’s too late to make any new real friends. the only one i made recently is moving away this year :/

i am working on my image, and to stop coming across like a nutter but when you’re surrounded by posh people who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and i’m from a rather *****y background, it’s hard not to be cynical.
Reply 1
i have a lot of hobbies and interesting things about myself but i don’t feel ok showing myself or my life on social media. idk why🤦🏻*♂️

im not ugly, but i could be a little leaner i guess. im not a virgin but this feeling of getting no girls and having no social life is foreign to me. i used to have a popping social life, and dated
Reply 2
oh yeah and the girl i’ve had a crush on all throughout uni is never going to like me back😂😭

it’s like every part of myself got worse during uni. lost my relationship, lost money, gained weight at a point, abused drink and other things. it’s been tragic
Sounds like nothing to do with university and everything to do with your own issues with alcohol.

Have you thought of giving up drinking?
Original post by Anonymous
Sounds like nothing to do with university and everything to do with your own issues with alcohol.

Have you thought of giving up drinking?


I agree try to give up or cut down there are loads of options for drinks even some of the alcohol free beers are meant to be quite nice I personally don’t drink I have tried beer but it’s not for me However if he’s driving my dad likes Damm beer so if you like beer you could do that. It sounds like you have bad body image “I guess I could be leaner” that’s great if you want to get a bit healthier I’d recommend swimming it’s a good all around workout or maybe you could take up a sport I don’t know what your tastes are but the more “extreme” sports have really cool supportive communities around them I might be biased as a ski instructor but skiers and snowboarders are really nice chilled people as are rock climbers so maybe try one of those sports where you could make some friends ok so your graduating in a year that doesn’t matter really I had loads of friends in the year below and when I graduated I still went down climbing or on socials with them sometimes (although the people I knew have all graduated and dispersed around the world now.) does that help?
(edited 8 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
hello, i’ve had a **** time at uni (i’ve just finished second year) and there’s a few reasons. some of them being my fault. but i feel like ultimately i’ll just have to live with having had a pretty *****y uni experience with no chance of redemption

i’ll give a brief overview of my uni life so far - i’m an individual with quite a bit of baggage, it’s impacted me greatly. so i didn’t give off the best impression of myself when i got drunk with my flatmates and just generally with people during freshers. people knew me as someone who liked to party and get messed up, but i’d be ostracised because i’m a bit loud and can be rude with a dark humour. basically people misinterpret me

anyway, i broke up with my girl, and some love triangle bs happened within my friendship group. which means we all split up and didn’t really have close friendships as a group anymore. this has made me basically become a social recluse, because some friends are in relationships. it’s left me super lonely because i don’t have oppurtunities to pull, and because of my initial impressions on people, i don’t really have any friends to go out with.

i’ve messed up most chance i’ve had in uni with girls because i’ve been too drunk. and at this stage it’s too late to make any new real friends. the only one i made recently is moving away this year :/

i am working on my image, and to stop coming across like a nutter but when you’re surrounded by posh people who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and i’m from a rather *****y background, it’s hard not to be cynical.


Hello,

I hope you're well. I am sorry to hear about your current situation, don't be too hard on yourself! What I'd say is, maybe try and reduce your drinking at first so people can see you in a more positive light and this could encourage people to talk to you more! I would also say, within your accommodation (house/student halls) wherever you're staying, see if you can make friends with your flatmates that could always help. Also, within your course - you have people with similar interests to you so that can already form a basis of your friendship! You could always find some hobbies, if you're interested in that, and find people that way too?

Give yourself a chance, and if you feel it's warranted perhaps apologise to some people you've offended - this could help!

I hope things get better
Jade :smile:
Cov Uni Student Ambassador
Ditch the booze as you clearly cannot enjoy it responsibly and it's sabotaging you.

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