Making friends

I’m going into my second year of uni, I’ve made no friends and I feel like becoming distant to someone I was once close with. I enjoy doing things alone, but I don’t want my bf to be my only existing relationships outside of family and it’s just healthy to have friendships in your life.

I’ll happily accept some advice or talk to anyone in the same position 🤷*♀️

Why didn't you make friends if you don't mind telling me? I personally feel life becomes boring when you don't have friends. It's really nice to have friends as long as you get along and pick the right people.

I agree with you, I just haven’t been able to. I find it difficult to socialise, I overthink everything, don’t want to say the wrong thing, don’t know what the right thing is to say. So I feel like my aura just comes off as awkward and unwelcoming. I definitely had opportunities in college and now I feel like it’s too late.

On the other hand, I go through phases when I need to be alone for peace of mind and enjoy boring, so I find high maintenance friendships and bestfriends difficult.

Frankly speaking, I used to have similar traits like yours (finding it difficult to interact with others, overanalyzing everything) just a few years ago, and I reckon it was because I was concerned about others' perspectives on me. If you feel cautious due to the same reasoning, then I would suggest not giving a damn about those people who don't matter most in your life. Otherwise, your personal space will start shrinking. You said you don't want to say the wrong thing, and I must admit that's a really good habit. Yeah, you're right. We're human beings, and I find it pretty normal when we fail to figure out the right thing to say at some point. Perhaps the environment around you makes it awkward for you to greet others. Don't assume it's too late. You can make friends at any time, but be selective in who you choose, as I cited in the previous post.

I do eye-to-eye with you to some extent. If you want the best people to be your friends, then you've got to make some compromises too, because you know it's a two-dimensional pathway.

Yeah, I find that I’m really confident doing things alone and with short interactions because I don’t care much for what strangers think. But with people I know I’ll see again or am interested in becoming friends with I’m quite intimidated and become very awkward and unintentionally unwelcoming. I’ll definitely work on it though, I might have to become more willing with compromises too.

I found your words really helpful and I appreciate it a lot, thank you.