haven’t made friends at uni

one month in and have met so many people, but i am quite shy and have this unreasonable expectation that people should reach out to me because i’m too nervous to make plans with people. so i haven’t made any friends who i talk to every day and i’m always walking around on my own.

i feel like it’s 100% my fault that i’m not an interesting person, i’m not the type who can talk for hours. i never have anything interesting to say as i don’t have a love life and i’m just not very interesting

how can i go about making friends with people who i feel like i know quite well and would be up for it, without seeming like a beg

Reply 1

Orla9099

8

To make friends, try doing things together like going to events or joining classes. Ask for help or advice, and show you're interested in what others say. Be yourself and don't rush it because making friends takes time.

Reply 2

Wendy_Torrance

1

Original post by Anonymous

one month in and have met so many people, but i am quite shy and have this unreasonable expectation that people should reach out to me because i’m too nervous to make plans with people. so i haven’t made any friends who i talk to every day and i’m always walking around on my own.

i feel like it’s 100% my fault that i’m not an interesting person, i’m not the type who can talk for hours. i never have anything interesting to say as i don’t have a love life and i’m just not very interesting

how can i go about making friends with people who i feel like i know quite well and would be up for it, without seeming like a beg

One month isn't very long to have been in uni! I'm quite introverted and it took me until about midway through first year before I really felt like I'd made any proper friends. It wasn't until the start of second year when I really felt like I'd made a solid group of friends. Not saying this to try and scare you and make you think you've still got a long stretch before you make any friends, just wanted to add another perspective that shows that it can sometimes take time but thats ok. I think the thing about uni compared to high school is that, depending on where you go, theres a lotttt of people and its hard to find a group of people that you're going to come into contact with regularly enough to build up a friendship with. I guess there are probably 3 categories - accommodation friends, classmate friends, or extracurricular friends. I personally cannot vouch enough for joining a club society - every single friend I ended up making at uni was through a society I joined.
And as for what you say about not being interesting...it might not feel like it to you on the inside, but literally, everyone has something interesting about them, and just because you don't think you're interesting definitely doesn't mean that other people won't find you interesting! Just because you have that thought doesn't make it the truth.
Sorry that this was kinda long, but hope this helped in some way, and good luck :smile:

haven’t made friends at uni

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