Death of father day before exams
Hi there,
Very unfortunatly my dad died unexpectadly the night before my first exam. I managed to soldier through most of them to try and avoid retakes but I have failed the majority of them, quite understandably. I applied for extenuating circumstances but all that has grants me is the opportunity to retake them as if I was taking them for the first time in the summer.
I am still in the early stages of grieving and not sure if I can retain any sort of mental health having a full time summer job (Trying to finance my living arrangements next year as my dad very kindly used to help with them), trying to support my mum (on my own, as Im an only child) and revising for 5 exams in a month.
I will of course do what is necessary to stay at uni but the student support system seems a bit crap if this is all the 'support' I get.
Anybody have any experience with this, as I am rather out of my depth
(I have got a first/ 2.1 in all my courseworks this year and am in my first year so I just need to pass!)
Very unfortunatly my dad died unexpectadly the night before my first exam. I managed to soldier through most of them to try and avoid retakes but I have failed the majority of them, quite understandably. I applied for extenuating circumstances but all that has grants me is the opportunity to retake them as if I was taking them for the first time in the summer.
I am still in the early stages of grieving and not sure if I can retain any sort of mental health having a full time summer job (Trying to finance my living arrangements next year as my dad very kindly used to help with them), trying to support my mum (on my own, as Im an only child) and revising for 5 exams in a month.
I will of course do what is necessary to stay at uni but the student support system seems a bit crap if this is all the 'support' I get.
Anybody have any experience with this, as I am rather out of my depth
(I have got a first/ 2.1 in all my courseworks this year and am in my first year so I just need to pass!)
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. Reach out to support from friends, university counseling services, and consider discussing options with your professors for additional assistance, such as counseling or accommodations for your exams. Lean on friends and loved ones for support during this difficult time.
(If you need a friend to open up to, I'm here for you, feel free to chat me here or privately).
You're doing your best, remember to prioritize your well-being.
(If you need a friend to open up to, I'm here for you, feel free to chat me here or privately).
You're doing your best, remember to prioritize your well-being.
Original post by Cedric Fred
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. Reach out to support from friends, university counseling services, and consider discussing options with your professors for additional assistance, such as counseling or accommodations for your exams. Lean on friends and loved ones for support during this difficult time.
(If you need a friend to open up to, I'm here for you, feel free to chat me here or privately).
You're doing your best, remember to prioritize your well-being.
(If you need a friend to open up to, I'm here for you, feel free to chat me here or privately).
You're doing your best, remember to prioritize your well-being.
Thanks dude, I really wanted to get some advice before contacting the uni. I don't think its unreasonable for me to ask them to be leneint as my courses don't count towards my grade
Sorry to hear 
what year of uni are you in?
My uni was pretty understanding when my both of my grans passed away a couple of years ago. I did have to provide a death certificate though for extenuating circumstances but luckily everything was still online and open book.
If you feel you need one it might also be worth seeing if you can get a GP appointment? They might be able to give you some recommendations for anxiety/MH wise. I ended up going on anxiety meds for a while because certain family members were awful. I can't remember the exact name of the programme (grief counselling i think it was) I got recommended to do but it was pretty useful
what year of uni are you in?My uni was pretty understanding when my both of my grans passed away a couple of years ago. I did have to provide a death certificate though for extenuating circumstances but luckily everything was still online and open book.
If you feel you need one it might also be worth seeing if you can get a GP appointment? They might be able to give you some recommendations for anxiety/MH wise. I ended up going on anxiety meds for a while because certain family members were awful. I can't remember the exact name of the programme (grief counselling i think it was) I got recommended to do but it was pretty useful
(edited 9 months ago)
In terms of uni and exams, you may want to discuss with your personal tutor what options you have - for example it may be possible to "intermit" or interrupt your studies for a year then return, which might be worth exploring as an option if you feel that you need more time. This may take different forms - you might just be allowed to defer the exams for another year and just sit the exams alone in the coming academic year, or you might then "restart" first year after having a full calendar year "out", depending on the uni policies and what might work with you.
Of course it is worth bearing in mind your current year cohort will then be in the year above (and may have graduated when you rejoin, depending on what year of your course you are in and how long it is). This can be a consideration if you have a strong support group among your cohort at uni that would then be lost, for example. From the sound of it you are in first year now, going into second year - so the people you met on the course will presumably still be there (entering third year) if you interrupted your studies for a year though. Also you will have the opportunity to get to know new people - particularly if you end up going into first year "again" it's a bit easier (compared to doing so and going into second year directly where people may already know each other in that cohort).
On the financial side, if your father's passing has affected your family's financial situation, this is something that should hopefully be reflected in your student finance entitlement. You may also be eligible for bursaries that you may not have been before. Also worth discussing with your uni and perhaps student union about student support funds/student emergency funding if needed!
Also as noted, it is worth reaching out for support outside of the above - speaking with your GP could be a good start, and also spending time with family and friends. There may also be groups that meet for people who have similar experiences that you may want to consider (your GP or student union may be able to point you in the direction of something in that vein potentially).
Of course it is worth bearing in mind your current year cohort will then be in the year above (and may have graduated when you rejoin, depending on what year of your course you are in and how long it is). This can be a consideration if you have a strong support group among your cohort at uni that would then be lost, for example. From the sound of it you are in first year now, going into second year - so the people you met on the course will presumably still be there (entering third year) if you interrupted your studies for a year though. Also you will have the opportunity to get to know new people - particularly if you end up going into first year "again" it's a bit easier (compared to doing so and going into second year directly where people may already know each other in that cohort).
On the financial side, if your father's passing has affected your family's financial situation, this is something that should hopefully be reflected in your student finance entitlement. You may also be eligible for bursaries that you may not have been before. Also worth discussing with your uni and perhaps student union about student support funds/student emergency funding if needed!
Also as noted, it is worth reaching out for support outside of the above - speaking with your GP could be a good start, and also spending time with family and friends. There may also be groups that meet for people who have similar experiences that you may want to consider (your GP or student union may be able to point you in the direction of something in that vein potentially).
I am sorry to hear about your circumstances.
I would contact your students union who can support you especially with engaging the university directly.
I think you likely have 2 main options,
- complete the summer exams
Or
Ask to:
- delay graduation/progression and sit the exams in the next academic year, this would potentially give you more time to organize your life, spend time with your family & give you the space from academia for a short period
I would contact your students union who can support you especially with engaging the university directly.
I think you likely have 2 main options,
- complete the summer exams
Or
Ask to:
- delay graduation/progression and sit the exams in the next academic year, this would potentially give you more time to organize your life, spend time with your family & give you the space from academia for a short period
Original post by mnot
I am sorry to hear about your circumstances.
I would contact your students union who can support you especially with engaging the university directly.
I think you likely have 2 main options,
- complete the summer exams
Or
Ask to:
- delay graduation/progression and sit the exams in the next academic year, this would potentially give you more time to organize your life, spend time with your family & give you the space from academia for a short period
I would contact your students union who can support you especially with engaging the university directly.
I think you likely have 2 main options,
- complete the summer exams
Or
Ask to:
- delay graduation/progression and sit the exams in the next academic year, this would potentially give you more time to organize your life, spend time with your family & give you the space from academia for a short period
I really don't want to take a year out of my studies, for the most part I enjoy my course so it would be good to progress into next year. Do you think there would be any chance they could waive a couple of the less important ones/ predicted grade, as I've done well in the coursework?
Original post by Anonymous
I really don't want to take a year out of my studies, for the most part I enjoy my course so it would be good to progress into next year. Do you think there would be any chance they could waive a couple of the less important ones/ predicted grade, as I've done well in the coursework?
You would have to raise this with your tutor, but generally I suspect the answer would be no. Most universities require 120 credits to be awarded in order to complete academic progression.
Whilst your circumstances are unfortunate you will have to complete the academic requirements of the degree.
If you have a very near miss failure on a small amount of non-compulsory credits there is what is called a condoned failure. This is dependent on your course structure, university regulations & generally only available to first year students - and may not be possible but something you could check on.
If you have a large amount of credits you still have to pass you’ll realistically need to complete the exams & credits to progress. What options you’ll have will be if you take them in the summer or wish to interrupt your studies for a short period of time.
Original post by mnot
You would have to raise this with your tutor, but generally I suspect the answer would be no. Most universities require 120 credits to be awarded in order to complete academic progression.
Whilst your circumstances are unfortunate you will have to complete the academic requirements of the degree.
If you have a very near miss failure on a small amount of non-compulsory credits there is what is called a condoned failure. This is dependent on your course structure, university regulations & generally only available to first year students - and may not be possible but something you could check on.
If you have a large amount of credits you still have to pass you’ll realistically need to complete the exams & credits to progress. What options you’ll have will be if you take them in the summer or wish to interrupt your studies for a short period of time.
Whilst your circumstances are unfortunate you will have to complete the academic requirements of the degree.
If you have a very near miss failure on a small amount of non-compulsory credits there is what is called a condoned failure. This is dependent on your course structure, university regulations & generally only available to first year students - and may not be possible but something you could check on.
If you have a large amount of credits you still have to pass you’ll realistically need to complete the exams & credits to progress. What options you’ll have will be if you take them in the summer or wish to interrupt your studies for a short period of time.
Yeah I kind of thought this may be the case, oh well busy month ahead of me
Ill fire my tutor an email anyway to discuss options, I just wanted to see what was reasonable to expect from them before asking for more support
Thanks for your help
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah I kind of thought this may be the case, oh well busy month ahead of me
Ill fire my tutor an email anyway to discuss options, I just wanted to see what was reasonable to expect from them before asking for more support
Thanks for your help
Ill fire my tutor an email anyway to discuss options, I just wanted to see what was reasonable to expect from them before asking for more support
Thanks for your help
Best of luck & remember to take care of yourself- and you have a student union if you need support.
I'm so sorry that this has happened to you, I know it feels awful when you don't get the mark you wanted on an exam, I can't imagine how hard this had been for you. I'm astonished that you were able to make it through the exams in the first place. I don't have any experience with exactly this sort of thing, but I did once have to study for a GCSE language exam in about 4 weeks - my advice would be to revise the bare minimum you need to know for each one, and the leave it there.
I wish you the very best, and I know life feels terrible right now, but you have a bright future ahead of you.
I wish you the very best, and I know life feels terrible right now, but you have a bright future ahead of you.
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