How to get over this

I've been with my boyfriend of four and a half years. Which for me is a long time I'm 22 now and I feel like I wasted a lot of precious years with someone who would end up dumping me anyway.

We broke up due to differences in religion and fear of our families clashing. He claimed that it wasnt personal but I'm having a hard time trying to believe that. He's now moving to another country, despite him living in the UK his whole life.

I want to be happy for him we both want to be friends, and I'm trying to but lately he isn't communicating how he feels. Recently he's been getting passive aggressive over the simplest of stuff, such as me going out with my best friend who is a girl, he'd say stuff like "oh so youre into girls now".

Also when I went shopping I told him just out of conversation, that I bought cute outfits, he then said "excuse me? What do you mean by cute" I have a hunch he gets jealous, when we were together that was his personality but since we broke up, and he has been the one emphasising that he doesn't want to get back with me I dont quite understand why he's behaving this way, could it be jealousy? I've tried explaining if I'm making him jealous as I can stop he then claimed he didn't care about who id speak to and what id do as he then added that we weren't together.

I'm getting a sense he's behaving hot and cold. Yesterday he told me no one is ever going to be better than me, and today hes told me he's trying to move on and I discovered that he's been talking to a few girls ever since we broke up on a Turkish dating site.

I'm really upset not because he's been talking to other girls, but the fact that I've asked him previously and the answer was he wasn't talking to anyone and now suddenly there's been quite a few girls he's been talking to and has been talking to them since we broke up which meant he had lied to me when he said no a few weeks ago.

I also don't understand how if he was talking tonthem and they make him happy, why he still wants to speak to me and why he wants me to visit and why the day before he asked me why I had been offline from Snapchat for four hours. I also don't understand why he said the day before that he won't move on as quickly as he thinks I would when today there's been people he's spoken to and they're way past the talking stage.

I want to believe that he's just trying to make me jealous or whatever but I'm really clueless he doesn't communicate just says stuff, and then says stuff to hurt me like really unnecessary stuff. It really makes me feel that I'm not valued as a person in general, I don't know what to do and I'm just heartbroken.

If anyone has any advice on how to move on too or any insight into what he might be doing, it would be much appreciated

Reply 1

notstudyingatall

Stop talking to him and move on with your life. If you carry on talking to him you're just going to get this sort of repeated behaviour. Accept that the relationship is over and move on. Find friends, new hobbies and focus on your life.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by notstudyingatall

I know your right and I expected this answer but what behaviour is being repeated, is he confused or does he not give a shite and maybe I'm just clinging to something that isn't there

Reply 3

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

I agree, just stop interacting with them and wasting your energy trying to analyse their behaviour. It's very common for people not to be able to remain friends after a breakup.

Reply 4

notstudyingatall

Original post by Anonymous

I know your right and I expected this answer but what behaviour is being repeated, is he confused or does he not give a shite and maybe I'm just clinging to something that isn't there

You've broken up, so you need to stop being so concerned about the behaviour he's exhibiting. Cut off communication with him. It's the harsh truth but you are clinging to something that's not there.