My mum ruins my confidence

I’m 20- on a gap year. I went to uni for a year but left.

My mum thinks she owns me because I financially couldn’t afford to live alone. Anyway, I find myself not being able to wear what I used to at uni bc my mum makes comments all the time, tells me I’m lazy and do nothing with my life. I haven’t been able to get a job where they live because it’s in a tiny village. I have got a job now- they’re taking ages to complete a DBS check though, but still thats not good enough. “You haven’t done anything about trying to find another one” I’ve applied etc not much else I can do. I feel like telling her to f*ck off everyday and she upsets me. I’m thinking about moving out when I have enough money and renting a cheap flat somewhere.

Thoughts?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

This is why I think parents need to start having financial dependency talks early on. Some parents have ideas that their kids will work hard and do well straight out of school, especially if they themselves come from a lower income family. Most people these days cannot afford to keep adult children at home, but don’t have the heart or feel the burden to keep them at home till they find their feet. This can cause a lot of frustration and it can show up as mean comments and petty fights over who left the empty milk carton in the fridge.

Tip: have a plan to move out and share this with your parents. This way they have an idea when and it is less frustrating.
Know how much money you will need for a deposit. How many hours of work will it take?

Also think about how can you contribute while at home. Just offering would be appreciated.

When I completed high school I had to stay with my parents. Under their roof I followed their rules. It motivated me to work harder to get out.
I got out but couldn’t afford food or utilities and ended up eating dinner at my moms and having a shower still. But at least I had my on place.