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My friend made rude comments about my parents. Should I stop hanging out with him?

My friend from uni came over to a barbeque at my parent's house a few weeks ago. He lives about an hour away, and he called me and asked me what's up, so I invited him over, he came to our barbeque then we went to the pub and watched the cricket, he then drove home. I saw him again at the pub at the weekend. We were in a group of people from uni for a get together, anyway at the end of the night after a few drinks he started making extremely unpleasant remarks about my parents, about how posh they were (and me), and quizzing me about their background. He got so aggressive, abusive and hateful I thought at one stage he was going to hit me. Although he doesn't come from a poor background, his parents didn't go to university. I have been to his house, it is a normal semi, it isn't as big as my parent's house which is a 4 bedroomed house, but it isn't that bad. My parents went to uni, but they aren't rich and they aren't snobby people at all, my mum is actually from a working class background originally and my parents vote Labour. Anyway he thinks they are really posh, that I am a spoilt suburban brat (he said he didn't realise how posh I was before he met my parents), and he was extremely rude to me. Has anyone else experienced this? I am considering dropping him.
Yeah, he's trash. Would you feel comfortable bringing up how you feel with him?
(edited 10 months ago)
Reply 2
yes you should definitely stop hanging out with such friends. you deserve better.
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
My friend from uni came over to a barbeque at my parent's house a few weeks ago. He lives about an hour away, and he called me and asked me what's up, so I invited him over, he came to our barbeque then we went to the pub and watched the cricket, he then drove home. I saw him again at the pub at the weekend. We were in a group of people from uni for a get together, anyway at the end of the night after a few drinks he started making extremely unpleasant remarks about my parents, about how posh they were (and me), and quizzing me about their background. He got so aggressive, abusive and hateful I thought at one stage he was going to hit me. Although he doesn't come from a poor background, his parents didn't go to university. I have been to his house, it is a normal semi, it isn't as big as my parent's house which is a 4 bedroomed house, but it isn't that bad. My parents went to uni, but they aren't rich and they aren't snobby people at all, my mum is actually from a working class background originally and my parents vote Labour. Anyway he thinks they are really posh, that I am a spoilt suburban brat (he said he didn't realise how posh I was before he met my parents), and he was extremely rude to me. Has anyone else experienced this? I am considering dropping him.

As soon as I read the title, this came to mind: stop hanging out with him. Never let anyone disrespect your parents no matter what. That person is just a pile of thrash. Cut him off from your life.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
My friend from uni came over to a barbeque at my parent's house a few weeks ago. He lives about an hour away, and he called me and asked me what's up, so I invited him over, he came to our barbeque then we went to the pub and watched the cricket, he then drove home. I saw him again at the pub at the weekend. We were in a group of people from uni for a get together, anyway at the end of the night after a few drinks he started making extremely unpleasant remarks about my parents, about how posh they were (and me), and quizzing me about their background. He got so aggressive, abusive and hateful I thought at one stage he was going to hit me. Although he doesn't come from a poor background, his parents didn't go to university. I have been to his house, it is a normal semi, it isn't as big as my parent's house which is a 4 bedroomed house, but it isn't that bad. My parents went to uni, but they aren't rich and they aren't snobby people at all, my mum is actually from a working class background originally and my parents vote Labour. Anyway he thinks they are really posh, that I am a spoilt suburban brat (he said he didn't realise how posh I was before he met my parents), and he was extremely rude to me. Has anyone else experienced this? I am considering dropping him.


You know what to do.
Reply 5
A 'friend' of mine did something similar recently, I don't see her the same way anymore and will definitely not be keeping in touch after uni; it's the sort of thing that really sticks in a person's head and ruins your perception of the person.

In cases like this, it's better to cut off your friendship with him, your parents or you did nothing wrong and it just feels like he's taking his insecurities out on you and your family, it's silly that he's calling you spoilt just because your parents have a nice house :confused: He has no right to be that way especially since you invited him over :colonhash:
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
My friend from uni came over to a barbeque at my parent's house a few weeks ago. He lives about an hour away, and he called me and asked me what's up, so I invited him over, he came to our barbeque then we went to the pub and watched the cricket, he then drove home. I saw him again at the pub at the weekend. We were in a group of people from uni for a get together, anyway at the end of the night after a few drinks he started making extremely unpleasant remarks about my parents, about how posh they were (and me), and quizzing me about their background. He got so aggressive, abusive and hateful I thought at one stage he was going to hit me. Although he doesn't come from a poor background, his parents didn't go to university. I have been to his house, it is a normal semi, it isn't as big as my parent's house which is a 4 bedroomed house, but it isn't that bad. My parents went to uni, but they aren't rich and they aren't snobby people at all, my mum is actually from a working class background originally and my parents vote Labour. Anyway he thinks they are really posh, that I am a spoilt suburban brat (he said he didn't realise how posh I was before he met my parents), and he was extremely rude to me. Has anyone else experienced this? I am considering dropping him.


Wow that jealousy written all over it. I bet all the other people he was with thought it was a right p***k . Yep you know what to do. Ditch the deadwood, he just is not worth your time.
Original post by Anonymous
My friend from uni came over to a barbeque at my parent's house a few weeks ago. He lives about an hour away, and he called me and asked me what's up, so I invited him over, he came to our barbeque then we went to the pub and watched the cricket, he then drove home. I saw him again at the pub at the weekend. We were in a group of people from uni for a get together, anyway at the end of the night after a few drinks he started making extremely unpleasant remarks about my parents, about how posh they were (and me), and quizzing me about their background. He got so aggressive, abusive and hateful I thought at one stage he was going to hit me. Although he doesn't come from a poor background, his parents didn't go to university. I have been to his house, it is a normal semi, it isn't as big as my parent's house which is a 4 bedroomed house, but it isn't that bad. My parents went to uni, but they aren't rich and they aren't snobby people at all, my mum is actually from a working class background originally and my parents vote Labour. Anyway he thinks they are really posh, that I am a spoilt suburban brat (he said he didn't realise how posh I was before he met my parents), and he was extremely rude to me. Has anyone else experienced this? I am considering dropping him.


I really feel for you as that must hurt and been very uncomfortable to say the least. Your "friend" was an arse for doing that to you, especially after you and your parents gave him hospitality and all. Like the other person said, it looks like Jealousy. The green eyed monster, especially after what came out his mouth after a few drinks in him and the aggression. Maybe he's angry and berating you as he strives for familial relationships like what he saw in your family that day?

I would bring it up with him so he's aware this isn't right of him and how you feel about it, but first maybe speak in confidence with your other friends about that night what they think of what he said. I'm not condoning his behaviour, but you mention he was drinking that weekend. Does he remember it? He might be absolutely horrified at what he's said. Not that it excuses it at all.

Either way, I would take a step back from him after so he "feels it" without you, if he values your friendship with you he will try to make genuine amends for what happened and be somewhat embarrassed, if not, or if you feel too much water has come under the bridge from it then you do what you feel is best for you.

Let us know how you get on! :smile:

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