Girlfriend blames me for her putting on weight

My girlfriend will be the first to admit she has always had issues with food, she stress eats etc. Anyway since she moved in with me she has put on weight but blames me for it.

I am not diabetic but I do frequently suffer from low blood sugar so I always make sure I have a packet of biscuits in the house just in case I need a pick me up. I can easily eat just one biscuit and stop but she can't, she will eat nearly half a packet but then feel awful and blame me for having them in the house. She also says when I cook tea I make the portions too large, but what I do is for example if I am making a risotto I will make extra and put some in a container and take it to work the next day. But if she goes in the kitchen after tea and still sees food in the pan she will eat a bit more.

And a final thing is I eat fruit for breakfast every morning during the week as I know it is healthy for me, whereas most mornings before work she will make bacon and eggs or sausage and bacon and I tell her it's okay to have it once in a while, having it nearly 5 days a week isn't healthy.

I go to the gym every morning before work and I have told my girlfriend to start doing the same, she has a gym membership but never uses it. So I have suggested at night after tea we go out for a walk but she says by that point she is too tired and can't be bothered. And when she sees me eating a large portion of food for tea for example she will say "it's fine for you to eat that you're thin" but I tell her I work hard to look the way I do as I force myself to get up every morning before work and exercise. That is why I can allow myself to eat larger portions of food.

I feel like she is blaming me as it is an easy cop out for her, I have encouraged her to eat more healthy food such as more oily fish but she says she doesn't like the taste, that's fine not everyone likes fish. But I have also tried to get her to eat more veg, for example if I make a stir fry I pack it with vegetables but most of the time she just leaves them.

What can I do? I try to help and encourage her but nothing is working and I don't think it's fair I get the blame for if she puts on weight.

Reply 1

londonmyst

19

Your gf is being irresponsible and very immature, refusing to make an effort to get her unhealthy habits under control.
It is very wrong of her to keep trying to blame you for her own complete lack of self-disclipline as regards her dietary and exercise lifestyle choices.
She is behaving like a a lazy, gluttonous jerk.

You can offer your gf the opportunity to come exercising with you, going jogging or to the gym together.
You can also show her some of the short home exercise workouts available on youtube from youtubers like Emi Wong and Bailey Brown
But the desire & willpower to change both her habits and her mindset in order to lose weight must come from your gf herself.
As the saying goes, "you can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink".
Ultimately it is your gf's life, her body, her habits and her decision whether she is willing to make the necessary changes.

Reply 2

nonchalant-

9

You "cook" tea?

You both need to have a talk, I think you both should come to the agreement to stop commenting on eachothers food choices.

Reply 3

Bean_cat

15

Its' not your fault, it's her fault for not being able to control herself.

You've motivated her on numerous occasions and encouraged her to go to the gym, you're not telling her to eat the extra portions and the biscuits at home thing sounds normal - even then she still had the choice between biscuits and fruit for something sweet but frankly it's down to her making unhealthy choices.

It'd be worth suggesting that she cooks so she can have the portion she deems appropriate and then she can make things as healthy as she likes. When going grocery shopping try to avoid putting unhealthy things in the shopping cart - so she can see for herself that she's the one choosing the unhealthier options - it would be good for her to try new fruit and veg also. In regards to the biscuit thing, it's a silly solution but maybe hide them so she can't blame you for that either. It'd also be useful to tell her to either go to the gym or cancel her membership because it's just gathering dust and costing her unnecessary expenses - maybe the she can see the errors of ways and realising how much she's been abandoning it.

Honestly, it's great that you care for her so much, but ultimately she's facing the consequences of her own actions - you can't help her if she can't help herself.

Good Luck

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

I'm a bit late to this, but here's my honest opinion. I hope your girlfriend has fixed this problem of hers by the time I'm reading this. But by the way you described her in this, I see her as an undisciplined fatass. She is too lazy to try anything, and she's manipulative. She makes stupid excuses to hide her insecurities, and she's trying to blame it on you for no apparent reason except her inability to control herself. You need to put her on some David Goggins sh*t. Buy her his book, 'Can't hurt me' or 'Never finished'. If she can't read either, then show her some of his videos. What she needs isn't motivation or any other external source to push her to stop this behaviour, what she needs is discipline. She needs to learn to control herself, eat things she doesn't want to, and do things she doesn't want to do. Respect to you for caring for her and yourself so much, but she fails to see just how much you are doing for her. Some people wouldn't even care for another person like this. Hide those biscuits from her, what the f*ck? Don't let her eat them, or that bacon sausage crap. She is immature for leaving vegetables on her plate. She needs someone to sit her down and force them to eat that. How bad does she really want this? Something tells me she doesn't care that she is gaining weight, and she is just looking for quick sources of dopamine and instant gratification. She should do something like a dopamine detox, because clearly she only wants to do what is comfortable for her. As David Goggins one said, "Life isn't always about doing things you like to do, it's about doing things you have to do." In this case, she HAS to eat those vegetables and those fruit (who doesn't like fruit?), she HAS to do that extra physical activity, and she HAS to at least TRY. That's the most important thing that she is missing. She isn't trying. I am sorry if I came across as mean or hurtful, but to reach your goals, it's not all sunshine and rainbows or peaches and cream. Nor is it easy. And a lot of people don't like this idea, but this idea is the best method. Some people will eat their favorite foods such as McDonald's and Burger King and KFC but stay under a specific calorie limit, and still lose weight. But that's not right. Just because they may look good physically, doesn't mean they feel good. Take my brother for example. He used to be fat. But then he continued to eat the unhealthy foods he loved, but stayed under his calorie limit. He lost weight, and looked great, but there was a problem. He still wasn't eating nutritious foods, and he was still eating fatty processed foods! He didn't care at all it seemed. Whenever I proposed my idea to him, he never cared. "As long as I stay under my calorie limit, I can eat whatever I want!" As he always used to say. Do you know where he is now? He is 6 feet under the ground, he died of a heart attack 3 years ago because of his unhealthy eating habits. You need to get her to fix her dilemma or expect her to live a miserable life. The first step she needs to take is to realise that she has a problem. Sorry, not sorry, but this is what it takes. Good luck to you and your girlfriend. Goodbye, and hopefully you see this.

Girlfriend blames me for her putting on weight

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