How to stop living in fear of a break up?

I’ve been with my boyfriend 18 months and some months are better than others but I’m in constant anxiety that we will break up or he will stop loving me.

This thought that’s implanted in my brain then causes extreme efforts to keep him like panicking if he goes online and doesn’t reply! And then obviously I look like a control freak and crazy but it truly comes from a place of fear.

I’ve had a couple break ups where men just didn’t love me anymore and from that every relationship I’ve had since has been ruined from my ‘ craziness’ from the fear of that makes sense.

This is my FAR the longest relationship I’ve had. My boyfriend is the most patient person in the world but even he has a breaking point. He knows my situation all too well but one day he’ll get fed up of my accusations!

I love him to pieces and tbh he’s way too good for me. He’s not paranoid or anxious or selfish- all the things I feel like I am sometimes.

I just want to be happy in my relationship as in enjoy our time rather than over analysing everything. It’s exhausting and really bad mentally

What have you got going on in your life other than your boyfriend.Do you have good friends,hobbies,fulfilling job etc.I ask because you are lacking self esteem and if he is the only thing that you have going on it is easier to put too much pressure on your relationship to boost your feeling of self worth.
If you have all those things and still feel this way some therapy might be useful.

Well I work 9-5 and I don’t drive yet which I think is a big part of the problem. I’d go to the gym everyday swimming if I could drive but I rely on him / my mum to take me places which is super embarassing but my test is in November so hopefully that might resolve the issue. I’m hoping!