The Student Room Group

How do I make friends?

Well I'm going to uni soon but I'm on the autism spectrum so it makes it hard to make friends. I also have social anxiety because I just think like why would they want to be friends with me etc. Just the thought of going up to someone and saying hi makes me nervous because I'm not good at reading facial expressions so I don't know if for example someone will be giving me an awkward half hearted smile because they don't want to talk to me anymore so I just kinda assume nobody wants to talk to me. And yes it's normal for not everyone to like you but when even one person visibly doesn't it really affects my self esteem and I think well what's the point of making friends, maybe they'll all react the way that one person did. Also I'm quite introverted and not good at continuing conversations so for example if I ask about what led them to this degree or how their journey was getting here and then after they respond I share something then what do I say afterwards how do I continue the conversation without feeling like I'm the only one making effort to ask questions? Or just how do I make friends in general? Please don't say something like just go up to them it will be fine because my brain doesn't work that way I kind of need steps or a routine in order to get good at something.
Reply 1
Hey there! It's completely natural to feel apprehensive about making friends at university, and rest assured, you're not alone in experiencing these concerns.

First and foremost, remember to be yourself. University is often a place where people are more accepting and open-minded. Embrace your uniqueness, and you'll find that many others will appreciate it too.

A great way to initiate friendships is by exploring common interests. Joining university societies or clubs related to your passions can provide a comfortable and enjoyable starting point.

Here are some conversation starters to consider:

Hometown: Inquire about where they're from. This can lead to discussions about their journey to university, whether you've visited their hometown, and your impressions of it.

Academic Interests: Ask them about their chosen field of study. What inspired them to pursue that subject, and what are their post-university plans and aspirations?

Extracurricular Activities: Explore their interests outside of academics. Are they participating in any sports or societies? You can delve into topics like their role in a sports team or their involvement in various clubs.

Remember, the key is to be genuinely interested in the other person and actively listen to their responses. This approach will foster meaningful conversations and help you connect with potential friends more easily. University is a time of exploration and self-discovery, and many students are in the same boat, eager to make new connections and friendships

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