i’ve been in a rs with this guy nearly a month (been seeing him for 3 months) and i really like him. but i get really moody and angry at him sometimes, a lot of the times for no apparent reason. i think it’s cuz i’m miserable at uni and take it out on him (id also snap at him before eg after arguing w my parents). i don’t want to stir things for no reason and i think i’m too clingy cuz i wanna see him all the time.
however, there are a few things i’ve noticed:
- he hasn’t called me babe in over 2 weeks (just bro)
- doesn’t want me to meet his friends
- doesn’t send me insta reels anymore
- said we were gonna go out to celebrate my results but we never did
- i basically forced him to be my bf (kept saying he doesn’t wanna rush etc. but doesn’t wanna lose me then i tried to end it on text, he drove to me and i cried in his car so he technically asked me out, ig just to shut me up)
- that time he said he was gonna wait a few more days and ask me out at uni with flowers (then said flowers would be cringe which i disagreed with, and never got me flowers for that after we got together)
- he kinda dismisses me when i’m insecure (when i questioned if we’re acc together now otp he said “that’s not good yday was an important day and u don’t care… did i not ask u out yday… i was asking u out again now”
- doesn’t want to watch a diff show/movie than what he picked until we finish it (70 more episodes)
- i was planning a trip to italy but he didn’t really seem into it, he said he wanted to but when i didn’t mention it he didn’t either
- i told him to find us matching tracksuits online and he said he’ll lmk but didn’t
last time i got moody i aired him and he didn’t text me for over 25hrs until i texted and he replied “i’m not a d***head” (as in he won’t keep texting me when i’m mad/ignore him) “you always get ur mood swings and think it’s ok, you asked me to **** off and i did” i tried to communicate this time saying “ i don’t think u feel the same way as i do and i don’t wanna get hurt” which he replied “we’ve had this chat so many times, idk what to tell u anymore” is he dismissing me or is he really tired of me being needy and insecure (we probs did have this convo before). then i said goodnight and he hasn’t texted today. he clearly doesn’t care to text me, or is he sick of me being moody and passive aggressive?
i don’t want to break up with him cuz i love spending time w him, cuddling, he always buys us food, he drives me back to my hometown (over 2hr drive for him), we went out on 2 dates in the last few weeks and he’s just my person but should i??
i’m also so miserable and lonely at uni, i think that’s why i take things out on him and want to end this so that i’m completely alone and nothing can hurt/ disappoint me anymore. but also i can’t imagine not having him here with me. but i also don’t just want to keep him cuz i’m lonely. 95% of the time it’s great, just that little bit that i overthink if he really likes me and get p****d off at him and the world. i don’t wanna lose him cuz i’ve never had someone like this in my life and he makes me really happy when we’re together, text and call. i also only snap at him over text after when i feel sad or angry for whatever reason (dunno if that changes things).
should i wait until i’m out of my depression phase and keep track of everything then make a more rational decision. maybe wait and see if he texts me?
sorry if that sounds over dramatic/cringe but i need to know if my mental health is making me wanna ruin something good for myself or if it isn’t all great at all and i should really let it go?