ahah.. help.. medicine or engineering?

this is more of a vent rather than advice but advice is helpful too! maybe harsh advice to really get my thoughts together.

but since i was a kid my dad has drilled into me that being a doctor is the be all end all. over time it was more lenient to being a doctor or an engineer since i said i preferred maths over science but he still wanted me to be a doctor since it's more 'stable' - i don't think it is. so in order to appease him, over time i've developed a love for becoming a surgeon and that is my driving motivation to go through medicine. i don't mind studying, i quite like studying and working. but i really do love maths, but not the mechanics / physics side of it.. hence the problem with engineering for me. nowadays after my dad got more educated over medicine courses and being a doctor, he's changed his mind completely and would rather i either go into radiology / radiography - i forgot which one it was woops - or drum roll.. an engineer since to him it's more stable and pays better.

i understand that it's less taxing money wise and i feel my parents want to save money instead of wasting over £50000 for me to go university and not get a job after that, but i feel like i've built my life around getting into medicine and forcing myself to like science even a little so i could try to get into medicine. my application has been sent for medicine universities (foundation years sigh) so i think i have a high chance of going on a gap year.

i feel like he's been a bit insensitive with his opinions... all the hard work and effort i went through and the fact i had to lie a little on my personal statement about my motivation for medicine - the university course my dad has been drilling into my head since day 1 - all to say 'oh actually, i think engineering is better for you, don't go into medicine you won't get a job' and he even said to lie on my cv when applying for apprenticeships. don't get me wrong, i quite like the idea of having an office job but engineering.. there's no spark in it for me. i'd much prefer finance since that's mainly maths related and less physics (gosh i hate physics lmao)

i'm just clueless as of now maybe i shouldn't go into medicine, the apprenticeship atleast im earning money not wasting it but i just don't know. i need to clear my head but worries keep pouring in that i've wasted my life (im currently in year 13 btw mwah)

thanks pookies

this is more of a vent rather than advice but advice is helpful too! maybe harsh advice to really get my thoughts together.

but since i was a kid my dad has drilled into me that being a doctor is the be all end all. over time it was more lenient to being a doctor or an engineer since i said i preferred maths over science but he still wanted me to be a doctor since it's more 'stable' - i don't think it is. so in order to appease him, over time i've developed a love for becoming a surgeon and that is my driving motivation to go through medicine. i don't mind studying, i quite like studying and working. but i really do love maths, but not the mechanics / physics side of it.. hence the problem with engineering for me. nowadays after my dad got more educated over medicine courses and being a doctor, he's changed his mind completely and would rather i either go into radiology / radiography - i forgot which one it was woops - or drum roll.. an engineer since to him it's more stable and pays better.

i understand that it's less taxing money wise and i feel my parents want to save money instead of wasting over £50000 for me to go university and not get a job after that, but i feel like i've built my life around getting into medicine and forcing myself to like science even a little so i could try to get into medicine. my application has been sent for medicine universities (foundation years sigh) so i think i have a high chance of going on a gap year.

i feel like he's been a bit insensitive with his opinions... all the hard work and effort i went through and the fact i had to lie a little on my personal statement about my motivation for medicine - the university course my dad has been drilling into my head since day 1 - all to say 'oh actually, i think engineering is better for you, don't go into medicine you won't get a job' and he even said to lie on my cv when applying for apprenticeships. don't get me wrong, i quite like the idea of having an office job but engineering.. there's no spark in it for me. i'd much prefer finance since that's mainly maths related and less physics (gosh i hate physics lmao)

i'm just clueless as of now maybe i shouldn't go into medicine, the apprenticeship atleast im earning money not wasting it but i just don't know. i need to clear my head but worries keep pouring in that i've wasted my life (im currently in year 13 btw mwah)

thanks pookies