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[M20] I only fall in love with people who are very close friends first.

It only happens this way... i see tons of beautiful/hot girls every day, but if we're not close friends, i don't feel any attraction for them.

This surely makes dating almost impossible (I'm 20 yo and never ever dated or kissed a girl) cause i only like to hang out with few people and rarely happens. Plus, i don't like night clubs and crowded spaces in general. I'd love to fall in love with a girl after some dates, but i know that's not how it works for me.

I fall in love with a person who laughs with me, is as stupid/goofy as me, a person who really knows who i am. I know that's the main point of relationships, but i'd prefer to start one with a person i really really like.

Does it happen to anyone else?
Original post by Anonymous
It only happens this way... i see tons of beautiful/hot girls every day, but if we're not close friends, i don't feel any attraction for them.

This surely makes dating almost impossible (I'm 20 yo and never ever dated or kissed a girl) cause i only like to hang out with few people and rarely happens. Plus, i don't like night clubs and crowded spaces in general. I'd love to fall in love with a girl after some dates, but i know that's not how it works for me.

I fall in love with a person who laughs with me, is as stupid/goofy as me, a person who really knows who i am. I know that's the main point of relationships, but i'd prefer to start one with a person i really really like.

Does it happen to anyone else?


I think your approach is for the best. Many people like to go out and meet somebody and then all the lovey dovey stuff happens quickly, but in the long run the relationship breaks down and you wonder why. Making intimate relationships with long-standing friends ensures that you're starting an intimate relationship with a person you can already trust. It's too easy for people to befriend or start relationships too quickly and no wonder they ultimately get spurned.
Reply 2
Attraction and love are separate.

they like to give things like this funny names now, but for me this is just pretty normal. I could never love somebody I didn't know, and by that I mean really know. I'd still be attracted to women but I have never been one of these who 'loves' someone after a couple of months (much less a few dates) and I cannot for the life of me understand people who profess to.

I've never had an issue with women, so I don't think this mode of attraction is the problem for you. It's likely other social stuff getting in the way.
(edited 7 months ago)

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