Relationship problems... thoughts?
Me and my bf live togetehr and have been together 3 years, we have a dog together and for the most part have been happy.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my bf live togetehr and have been together 3 years, we have a dog together and for the most part have been happy.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
You need to arrange a time when you are both able to sit down and talk this through. Sit and listen to what he has to say. However, if you are not able to have this conversation I would suggest that your relationship may be over. Good relationships are based on trust and good communication. If you can't communicate you can't trust and what is a relationship with someone you can't trust.
Good luck and all the best.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my bf live togetehr and have been together 3 years, we have a dog together and for the most part have been happy.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
talk to each other, with patience and love, about this and how you feel. sounds like the relationship has become sensitive and slightly toxic. might be better to find someone else, its hard to let go, but he doesn't sound like he cares about your problems. not sure though, I might be wrong. if you are both willing to put in the work to make your relationship thrive, then great. but once you have your conversation and continues to act like a **** then break up honestly
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my bf live togetehr and have been together 3 years, we have a dog together and for the most part have been happy.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
I think you have hit the nail on the head - you are so alike in so many ways, but different in other ways - which is absolutely true in most relationships. It might be that you want to engage in conversation with him as he is leaving for work, but at this point he might find it very hard to engage in conversation with you as he is trying to focus on getting ready and out of the door. Its not necessarily a personal thing, it is just that at that time his priority is not to have a conversation with you, and therefore he shuts down and plays his game/ignores you. You mention that you are independent, which is great, and headstrong - but for the sake of your relationship and being happy too, it could really help to pick a better time to talk to him. If you feel really strongly about something, it would probably help to tackle this when your bf is more relaxed at the end of the day. My advice would be that listening to each other, not necessarily winning an argument, is hands down, the easiest way to be happy. The more supportive your relationship, the more you will be able to be open and honest with each other. Good luck - no relationship is perfect and the fact that your bf apologises, does show that he cares.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my bf live togetehr and have been together 3 years, we have a dog together and for the most part have been happy.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
Sorry to hear about this, as others have said it is worth communicating with your boyfriend in a more straightforward way. I can understand why you're both acting the way you are, but it isn't good to continue this way or things will get worse.
Instead of asking over and over again if he's interested in the conversation, just repeat what you've said to him. The common trend in these arguments are that you're both trying to talk whilst getting ready for work - I don't know about you guys but I have to go around the house grabbing my stuff when I'm getting ready for work and I wouldn't really be interested in a conversation because I'm focussed on getting all my things and am usually in a rush; your bf might be feeling the same way and is genuinely not trying to annoy you on purpose because he's distracted by the fact that he needs to get ready. Might be better to have conversations over breakfast or when you're both completely ready, so that you can give each other the attention you both deserve.
Another aspect to this is that you're not telling each other how you feel, your bf is quiet about headaches and he's making insensitive jokes towards you making you upset - so it is worth expressing these things to each other more too - so that you guys can understand each other better without the arguments.
I hope things get better for you guys
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my bf live togetehr and have been together 3 years, we have a dog together and for the most part have been happy.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
It seems that you love him but don't respect him hence you are fighting for him to get his act together. You need to reflect on yourself, your needs and where you see yourself going then have an honest conversation with your bf on your relationship.
As you said, he has battled with mental problems for sometime, so you need to honestly and constructively investigate whether his current behaviour is a symptom of that problem.
Finally, i think you should learn to give him space and not nag him all the time. For example, you arguing with him before work is not a good sign. He is going out into the world to battle and secure the funds for both of you. The last thing that he would want is to have his girl stressing him out before work. Instead, boost his ego and make him feel good about himself. If you find yourself getting stressed out, walk away and come back later to engage. This would allow you to engage rationally and not use emotions.
Good luck
(edited 5 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous #1
Me and my bf live togetehr and have been together 3 years, we have a dog together and for the most part have been happy.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
Recently this very random issue has risen. Everytime I'm home while my bf is getting ready for work we end up in some massive argument. Like the other day, we were in a conversation and then he stopped responding didn't hear what I said basically ignored me. I got annoyed naturally because he does this so often it's like he suddenly shuts down from the convo and isn't interested. Anyways his sorry was saying sorry then sitting on his games and ignoring my whole presence. I obviously got ****ed off at this as I was like you haven't even wondered what I've said like what? The boy repeats sorry OK as he sits there staring at his screen playing a game. Obviously going to **** me off so I'm standing there trying to be like are you tho you don't even care what I said. He then does this silent treatment.... he does not respond so then i say I'm an idiot n get upset questioning everything. Then he says my voice is too loud ill give him a headache and the reason his silent is to not get a headache. He starts getting ready and I might try come like pls make up with me b4 you go but bad idea he gets annoyed and says I stress him out standing around him I always put pressure on him to answer. I'm like you just ignored speaking to me the whole time you could have. Anyways I usually am so ****ed off I'm like maybe I'll go tonight and he leaves for work then sends me a message later fearing I'll leave and saying sorry.
It happened again today when I went to make a tea and there was no milk so I got annoyed because his said he'd get milk the last 2 days and I thought he had. I'm ill so was more ****ed off but he decided to be all cocky n laugh n be liel well guess you have to go out haha. I said I was ****ed off and didn't find it funny. He proceeded to say I'm nasty. I was like how I'm.****ed of there's no milk that's all how can you be so sensitive. It goes on like this and I walk in the kitchen while his there getting ready and he says something so I stop n start speaking then he suddenly gets all stressed and annoyed at me for standing there and says my voice is loud and annoying and all I do is put pressure in him and stress him out before work. I this time decided to just leave and go get my mill, nothing was resolved and he had then left for work and won't see him till later.
I'm just here like do you even like me, my whole existence annoys you before you have to go to work I don't understand. Half the time all you needed to do was stop ignoring me. I'm so confused by this I'm finding it so hard. His had a few mental problems lately and been really unhappy in general I can't he'll but wonder if its me although he claims its not. I seem to just not do him good by the sounds of it. I know I'm not overly mean, I'm independent and headstrong I can justify what I say and what I think- I think he doesnt like that he gets annoyed if I don't agree with him but I'm like I think what I think you think that? It's not like it's stuff that would affect our life together. The whole thing is driving me crazy because we can be so happy and good together, we are so alike in ways but so diff in ways clearly. I don't know if to think this is just him coping with whatever thing he has going on not that I'll accept this coping way. Come the evening we can be fine again with each other it just seems to be the days I'm nit st work and he has to get ready and go to work.
If your life was still like this in two years, how would you feel about it?
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