The Student Room Group

Finding a suitable partner

Does it seem to be hopeless?
no
Reply 2
Original post by Dennis_9696
Does it seem to be hopeless?

Not at all. If that was the case, others wouldn't have partners in their whole life.
Original post by Meheraj
Not at all. If that was the case, others wouldn't have partners in their whole life.

Yeah but also depends how they found their partners
Reply 4
Original post by Dennis_9696
Does it seem to be hopeless?

Hello everyone,
I am soon to be 28 years old and an introverted extrovert personality-type which means I like to socialize but simultaneously enjoy to be alone (or if the term was actually the other way round).

I hang out in large cities and when I visit a restaurant ; I do so by grooming/dressing well and read a good book or keep myself busy via phone (because I think it'd look awkward if I was too casual and that might make me look more interesting).


Anyways, on some occasions, I lead a small conversation with other people when it feels right. But one thing I have been observing was, how I used to long for a partner from 17 to 24 yrs old. Henceforward, it stopped. I no longer feel bad for not having a partner anymore and enjoy my single life to the fullest. (Right now, I would rather be alone than to be with someone that makes me feel unhappy or similar in a way I'd either think I am not good enough for her, I should play more tricks, what a cheap car eww, that dress is weird and so on). Due to that, I started to concern a little how I'd remain for the rest of my life alone. Paradoxically, I would want to have a long-term relationship. I assume I matured? Strived for many goals or found new hobbies to keep me busy thus make me more attractive?



Perhaps it sounds complex but here is my background story:

My hobbies were the usual stuff: Gaming, Gym and Music. I have had no any clue about so-called ''getting a girl(friend)'' back then. My school friends were bragging ''yoooo look at that chick... I met her such and such''. I couldn't relate to them because I had a different attitude, character towards relationships and dating. I wanted to have a long-term meaningful relationship. I saw couples... many couples.

As I hit the gym frequently, I'd get the most attention as well as from women. There was a level of anxiety too, so I couldn't approach.

Until I learnt how to deal with emotional stress while dating, I met roughly 6 or 7 girls? Among them 1 short-term relationship which lasted 7 months and a polygamous (but I don't count that as one).
Past experience taught me to develop fair/good standards in finding a partner. I was sort of shallow and would fall for beauty...nonetheless, I'd also watch for personality hence I only met 7 girls.


What you can assume about me is that I am intuitive, open-minded with good boundaries, reliable, well-mannered and knowledgable about a few topics. I am sensitive to bad behaviour, dishonesty and insincerity. I live in a toxic neighborhood and hope to move out to a much better area. Posing with flashy clothes, exposed legs, loud drifting cars is what I can't actually benefit from finding something meaningful. Therefore the environment matters for me. if I had to describe my ideal date right now, that'd be an empathetic, sweet, mature and intelligent girl.


I happen to believe that a long-term/meaningful or any relationship... even friendships can't be forced. The more I tried and put effort to convince myself that it'd actually work, the worse the outcome was.


My current hobbies are discovering new places/travelling, reading, drawing/arts and occupying with philosophical stuff.
Past experience + new hobbies + understanding life better made me to stop looking for a partner which feels like forever that I am concerned I'd be alone. My mother is also wondering too and feels sad... lol parents are parents. they want the best for their child.


Moral of the story:
Many women I meet in my daily life or anywhere aren't appealing to me anymore. On the flipside, many of them were!



Thank you so much for reading!
Reply 5
Original post by Mohammed_80
Yeah but also depends how they found their partners

Definitely, I meant to say that the OP shouldn't lose hope because that's what keeps us alive. I also know where you're coming from but I would say it's a bit easier to find suitable ones rather than the perfect ones.
Original post by Meheraj
Definitely, I meant to say that the OP shouldn't lose hope because that's what keeps us alive. I also know where you're coming from but I would say it's a bit easier to find suitable ones rather than the perfect ones.

Yeah finding that right one with mutual understanding only strengthens the bond and relationship.

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