I am soon to be 28 years old and an introverted extrovert personality-type which means I like to socialize but simultaneously enjoy to be alone (or if the term was actually the other way round).
I hang out in large cities and when I visit a restaurant ; I do so by grooming/dressing well and read a good book or keep myself busy via phone (because I think it'd look awkward if I was too casual and that might make me look more interesting).
Anyways, on some occasions, I lead a small conversation with other people when it feels right. But one thing I have been observing was, how I used to long for a partner from 17 to 24 yrs old. Henceforward, it stopped. I no longer feel bad for not having a partner anymore and enjoy my single life to the fullest. (Right now, I would rather be alone than to be with someone that makes me feel unhappy or similar in a way I'd either think I am not good enough for her, I should play more tricks, what a cheap car eww, that dress is weird and so on). Due to that, I started to concern a little how I'd remain for the rest of my life alone. Paradoxically, I would want to have a long-term relationship. I assume I matured? Strived for many goals or found new hobbies to keep me busy thus make me more attractive?
Perhaps it sounds complex but here is my background story:
My hobbies were the usual stuff: Gaming, Gym and Music. I have had no any clue about so-called ''getting a girl(friend)'' back then. My school friends were bragging ''yoooo look at that chick... I met her such and such''. I couldn't relate to them because I had a different attitude, character towards relationships and dating. I wanted to have a long-term meaningful relationship. I saw couples... many couples.
As I hit the gym frequently, I'd get the most attention as well as from women. There was a level of anxiety too, so I couldn't approach.
Until I learnt how to deal with emotional stress while dating, I met roughly 6 or 7 girls? Among them 1 short-term relationship which lasted 7 months and a polygamous (but I don't count that as one).
Past experience taught me to develop fair/good standards in finding a partner. I was sort of shallow and would fall for beauty...nonetheless, I'd also watch for personality hence I only met 7 girls.
What you can assume about me is that I am intuitive, open-minded with good boundaries, reliable, well-mannered and knowledgable about a few topics. I am sensitive to bad behaviour, dishonesty and insincerity. I live in a toxic neighborhood and hope to move out to a much better area. Posing with flashy clothes, exposed legs, loud drifting cars is what I can't actually benefit from finding something meaningful. Therefore the environment matters for me. if I had to describe my ideal date right now, that'd be an empathetic, sweet, mature and intelligent girl.
I happen to believe that a long-term/meaningful or any relationship... even friendships can't be forced. The more I tried and put effort to convince myself that it'd actually work, the worse the outcome was.
My current hobbies are discovering new places/travelling, reading, drawing/arts and occupying with philosophical stuff.
Past experience + new hobbies + understanding life better made me to stop looking for a partner which feels like forever that I am concerned I'd be alone. My mother is also wondering too and feels sad... lol parents are parents. they want the best for their child.
Moral of the story:
Many women I meet in my daily life or anywhere aren't appealing to me anymore. On the flipside, many of them were!
Thank you so much for reading!