Is this abusive? (parents)
I have an issue with my parents right now. I don't know if what they are doing is abusive but I talked with my friends and they assume so. its pretty long so.
1)Wanted me to be insanely smart. They wanted me to set the record high all 9s in my GCSEs which is like yk ok goals but they force it so much it i get 85 or something they are like >
. If I get the highest in the clas but it isnt a hundred theyll be like "I dont care abt the others I just want you to get full marks" And if I get second highest theyll be like "WHO"
1) They want me to follow the life plan they made for me. This one is just strange but I always wanted to be an animator when I get older and everytime I was at family events and I was asked I replied with "An animator!" then my parents would awkwardly laugh and tell my family that i still have years to come. Now I just dont want to be freaking anything, Literally 2 weeks ago they said yk what be a dentist then few hours later an economist.
2) OBSESSION with comparing, yk with the better cousin, the one thats skinnier, the one thats smarter, the one that doesnt use devices, the one that cooks and cleans, the ones that taller. Ive tried to cook before but my mom refused to eat saying "I'll never eat from your hand". I genuinely try to study I rlly do, i refuse to drink or eat anything until im done. And I want to lose weight so I ask my mom if i can do a diet? she says "nah your to young and there garbage anyway" I ask if I can use the gym? She says "Oh your too young and they arent good for you"
3) Not liking me associating with my friends. Recently about 2 weeks ago I went to the cinemas with my friends and now we are planning to go to a mall this week. And the idea of me going to my friends again after 2 weeks makes their blood boil. They gave a lecture abt phones somehow?? (werent even talking abt it))
4) How im not physically abused. My parents use this everytime I used to cry when they yelled. They would say and literally word for word "Why are you crying, I didnt beat you with a stick, do you know your aunt hits your cousins with a coat hanger? Your so sensitive we used to get hit when we were younger, Ugh I knew I should've started beating you" This fcking made me want to slam my head against a wall who says that. Oh and the "I never hit you" I remember clear in my head to this day when I didnt understand how to read a clock and the weird quarter past eight garbage (i still dont get it lol) and my dad pulled my ear yelled and slapped me and I vividly remember at the end when I finally did a few questions my dad went for a high five and i flinched only for him to laugh. I get that this experience isnt bad compared to others and im so srry to anyone that goes through stuff like this and I hope the best for you.
3) Reminding how horrible I am. They will remind me how im such a bad daughter and how my cousins are all better. Do ya rlly think telling me that will make me better
4) That stupid narcissistic smirk.
5 Had arguments with them where I seemingly talk in circles, get to no solution, or argue about random things (like how mood swings in periods dont exist ???)
6) Getting help.I went to a counsellor in school since i rlly hated myself and i used to go in secret. My friends went in secret too and then told their parents who supported them so I decided to tell mine before school... Had a massive fight yelling here and there as my parents berate me telling my its useless and why i didnt come to them first. My dad would refuse to let me go to school until I told him why I was going to another adult for help. When I told them I hated myself they looked at me confused and repeated the question. My dad threatened if I still kept going to her he'll remove me from the school and send me to an insane asylum. I then confronted them about the pressure they give for school and for me to be perfect, they completely dodged the question. And yk whats completely ironic? My mother studied therapy.
Okay yall that was it. I feel like this isnt that big of a deal so feel free to tell me im a brat.
1)Wanted me to be insanely smart. They wanted me to set the record high all 9s in my GCSEs which is like yk ok goals but they force it so much it i get 85 or something they are like >
. If I get the highest in the clas but it isnt a hundred theyll be like "I dont care abt the others I just want you to get full marks" And if I get second highest theyll be like "WHO" 1) They want me to follow the life plan they made for me. This one is just strange but I always wanted to be an animator when I get older and everytime I was at family events and I was asked I replied with "An animator!" then my parents would awkwardly laugh and tell my family that i still have years to come. Now I just dont want to be freaking anything, Literally 2 weeks ago they said yk what be a dentist then few hours later an economist.
2) OBSESSION with comparing, yk with the better cousin, the one thats skinnier, the one thats smarter, the one that doesnt use devices, the one that cooks and cleans, the ones that taller. Ive tried to cook before but my mom refused to eat saying "I'll never eat from your hand". I genuinely try to study I rlly do, i refuse to drink or eat anything until im done. And I want to lose weight so I ask my mom if i can do a diet? she says "nah your to young and there garbage anyway" I ask if I can use the gym? She says "Oh your too young and they arent good for you"
3) Not liking me associating with my friends. Recently about 2 weeks ago I went to the cinemas with my friends and now we are planning to go to a mall this week. And the idea of me going to my friends again after 2 weeks makes their blood boil. They gave a lecture abt phones somehow?? (werent even talking abt it))
4) How im not physically abused. My parents use this everytime I used to cry when they yelled. They would say and literally word for word "Why are you crying, I didnt beat you with a stick, do you know your aunt hits your cousins with a coat hanger? Your so sensitive we used to get hit when we were younger, Ugh I knew I should've started beating you" This fcking made me want to slam my head against a wall who says that. Oh and the "I never hit you" I remember clear in my head to this day when I didnt understand how to read a clock and the weird quarter past eight garbage (i still dont get it lol) and my dad pulled my ear yelled and slapped me and I vividly remember at the end when I finally did a few questions my dad went for a high five and i flinched only for him to laugh. I get that this experience isnt bad compared to others and im so srry to anyone that goes through stuff like this and I hope the best for you.
3) Reminding how horrible I am. They will remind me how im such a bad daughter and how my cousins are all better. Do ya rlly think telling me that will make me better
4) That stupid narcissistic smirk.
5 Had arguments with them where I seemingly talk in circles, get to no solution, or argue about random things (like how mood swings in periods dont exist ???)
6) Getting help.I went to a counsellor in school since i rlly hated myself and i used to go in secret. My friends went in secret too and then told their parents who supported them so I decided to tell mine before school... Had a massive fight yelling here and there as my parents berate me telling my its useless and why i didnt come to them first. My dad would refuse to let me go to school until I told him why I was going to another adult for help. When I told them I hated myself they looked at me confused and repeated the question. My dad threatened if I still kept going to her he'll remove me from the school and send me to an insane asylum. I then confronted them about the pressure they give for school and for me to be perfect, they completely dodged the question. And yk whats completely ironic? My mother studied therapy.
Okay yall that was it. I feel like this isnt that big of a deal so feel free to tell me im a brat.
thats actually abusive because you were getting help and they hate that and they are emotionally abusing you
It's totally their fault, not yours. I'm sorry you have to go through this my friend. You're worth it, you're not whining or acting like a brat at all. This is just red flags all over, it'll be good to talk it over with a trusted adult in school, then wait a few more years, get financially independent and move out.
Original post by Anonymous #3
It's totally their fault, not yours. I'm sorry you have to go through this my friend. You're worth it, you're not whining or acting like a brat at all. This is just red flags all over, it'll be good to talk it over with a trusted adult in school, then wait a few more years, get financially independent and move out.
like your school consellor
Original post by Anonymous #3
It's totally their fault, not yours. I'm sorry you have to go through this my friend. You're worth it, you're not whining or acting like a brat at all. This is just red flags all over, it'll be good to talk it over with a trusted adult in school, then wait a few more years, get financially independent and move out.
thank you so much ive always doubted if I was in the wrong
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