16 and haven't dated.

Hey! I'm back asking about relationships, because who doesn't love whiny teenagers? Kidding.

Okay, so this is going to sound a bit weird - but I feel like I'm falling behind. I'm 16 and haven't ever been in a relationship, I haven't dated, or kissed anyone, and I'm still a virgin.

I feel a bit insecure about this, especially since the majority of people my age are hitting these milestones (some of the things people tell me- wow).

I want to focus on my exams, and I think having a partner would detract from that- but I can't help but feel sort-of pressured into dating? If that makes sense. It's like, 'everyone else is doing it, so what's wrong with me? Why can't I do it?'

To make matters worse, I do sort-of have a crush on a guy- I think? He's sweet, and I like spending time with him. I also know he has a massive crush on me- like, everyone I know has told me about it. So, if he asked me out I don't know if I'd say yes because I feel sorta pressured to, or no because I know, deep down, I don't really want to date out of fear of it impacting my exams.

I just needed to complain, I guess. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks! :smile:

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Hi,
Thank you for sharing this. I believe we should not 'follow' what society and others do, and compare our lives. I always said I and I will keep saying it. There is no right age, just the right feeling. I lost my virginity at 23, and I did when I was ready, not when I felt I should be ready, or the people around me were ready. You will know when the time is right, trust me.

I know you may feel pressured, and you need a very strong mindset to overcome that. It is hard, but not impossible. I have never had a drink and never smoked, even tho everyone around me seems doing it, especially at uni. I am still alive, happy, and I feel good with myself. (I am not saying these things are right/wrong, just giving a personal example)

The advice I would give, and I always give to everyone is you should focus on you, and you only. Wait for the time to be right, and ignore what your mates are doing. Remember we all have different lives, different goals, and our own race. You are not going to lose anything if your wait, and do things at your time. Have you ever heard of people at uni at 40 years+?Works same way. There is no right time for things in life.

I hope this helps 🙂

Reply 2

Surnia

20

At 16 you're barely old enough to date, and don't believe what everyone else is telling you; it won't all be true!

Reply 3

User_name001

8

Original post by wh1zzer

Hey! I'm back asking about relationships, because who doesn't love whiny teenagers? Kidding.

Okay, so this is going to sound a bit weird - but I feel like I'm falling behind. I'm 16 and haven't ever been in a relationship, I haven't dated, or kissed anyone, and I'm still a virgin.

I feel a bit insecure about this, especially since the majority of people my age are hitting these milestones (some of the things people tell me- wow).

I want to focus on my exams, and I think having a partner would detract from that- but I can't help but feel sort-of pressured into dating? If that makes sense. It's like, 'everyone else is doing it, so what's wrong with me? Why can't I do it?'

To make matters worse, I do sort-of have a crush on a guy- I think? He's sweet, and I like spending time with him. I also know he has a massive crush on me- like, everyone I know has told me about it. So, if he asked me out I don't know if I'd say yes because I feel sorta pressured to, or no because I know, deep down, I don't really want to date out of fear of it impacting my exams.

I just needed to complain, I guess. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks! :smile:

Focus on your education and gain your qualifications then you won’t fall behind otherwise you’ll fall behind and you’ll have no education to show.

Reply 4

Doomotron

18

You have nothing to worry about at 16. I'm almost 20 now, but I did have a girlfriend when I was 16 and it was a terrible experience. It sounds patronising but people are right when they say that 16 is too young to date. Wait a few years for the right person to come along and you won't feel like you should have dated when you were younger.

Reply 5

cowra

4

I'm 20 and I've never kissed anyone let alone dated. Don't feel too pressured, I'd honestly say the majority of people at 16 have never been in like a proper relationship so don't sweat it. Do what's right for you and don't force yourself to experience something you're not ready for just because you feel like you're falling behind :smile:

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 6

Doomotron

18

Original post by cowra

I'm 20 and I've never kissed anyone let alone dated. Don't feel too pressured, I'd honestly say the majority of people at 16 have never been in like a proper relationship so don't sweat it. Do what's right for you and don't force yourself to experience something you're not ready for just because you feel like you're falling behind :smile:

Definitely, barely any of the relationships people have at 16 can be considered proper relationships. While the idea of being with someone at that age is nice (and I always wished I'd been with someone then) it doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things.

Reply 7

zyyyzyyz

2

im 17 and in the same place, tbh its not a good sign for the rest of your dating life if you end up like this. i would just start talking to girls as much as possible, also try to approach irl. im still too scared to do either but im getting there

Reply 8

zyyyzyyz

2

Original post by zyyyzyyz

im 17 and in the same place, tbh its not a good sign for the rest of your dating life if you end up like this. i would just start talking to girls as much as possible, also try to approach irl. im still too scared to do either but im getting there

nevermind youre a girl, in that case you shouldnt have any issues dating since its literally 100 times easier for you than for males

Reply 9

jelllyfiiish

Life & Style Forum Helper

16

Original post by zyyyzyyz

nevermind youre a girl, in that case you shouldnt have any issues dating since its literally 100 times easier for you than for males

Fair enough, I find that girls asking a guy out has a higher success rate of dating than a guy asking a girl out

Reply 10

H8Courtship217

10

Original post by zyyyzyyz

nevermind youre a girl, in that case you shouldnt have any issues dating since its literally 100 times easier for you than for males

your not alone in thinking that way, of course its a debate that will never end, its a debate or discussion that will always remain open, people will always have mixed feelings, but a lot of people in general do think dating is much harder for men than it is for women, and of course there are always going to be people who have the opposite view, dating is obviously a complex topic of discussion.

Reply 11

greentiger

14

Original post by wh1zzer

Hey! I'm back asking about relationships, because who doesn't love whiny teenagers? Kidding.
Okay, so this is going to sound a bit weird - but I feel like I'm falling behind. I'm 16 and haven't ever been in a relationship, I haven't dated, or kissed anyone, and I'm still a virgin.
I feel a bit insecure about this, especially since the majority of people my age are hitting these milestones (some of the things people tell me- wow).
I want to focus on my exams, and I think having a partner would detract from that- but I can't help but feel sort-of pressured into dating? If that makes sense. It's like, 'everyone else is doing it, so what's wrong with me? Why can't I do it?'
To make matters worse, I do sort-of have a crush on a guy- I think? He's sweet, and I like spending time with him. I also know he has a massive crush on me- like, everyone I know has told me about it. So, if he asked me out I don't know if I'd say yes because I feel sorta pressured to, or no because I know, deep down, I don't really want to date out of fear of it impacting my exams.
I just needed to complain, I guess. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks! :smile:

I’m not going to lie to you, most don’t have a first relationship until college and a lot of the time even uni. Out of many people I know i’m one of few who had a relationship during college. It may seem like it’s everyone, but it truly isn’t. Wait and see what the summer brings.

And the user that said it’s easier for females, i’d disagree with that. I struggle even now, I haven’t dated anyone since my last boyfriend which was over a year ago now, and i’m also starting to feel a bit behind as It appears as that I haven’t moved on, even though there’s simply no one out there for me currently. The time will come when it’s right, when you’re done with exams the world will be your oyster.

(edited 1 month ago)

16 and haven't dated.

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