How do I make more friends?

I've been at uni almost a month now and I don't really have any friends. I have a bunch of people that I "hi, bye" but idk how to move it past that point and actually hang out with them. And there are also 2 girls I hang out with that are alright but idk if I'd consider them friends just yet. I've heard a good way to make friends is to join societies and so on, but I'm struggling to meet people at the societies I've joined, and outside of my flatmates, course and societies I have no idea how else to make friends.

Reply 1

Scotland Yard

Clearing and Applications Advisor, Universities Forum Helper

20

Well, you just go chat with people, really, at societies and events that you go to - including lectures, I met some of my friends this way! You'll click with someone, you can exchange contact details and then you invite people out to stuff, like, I don't know, there's a movie you want to see or some sort of event or you want to go exploring a place in town, so you message a few people and see who wants to come and then take it from there. These things, you help them along, but they happen on their own, you know? Just keep trying and it'll happen :smile:

Original post by Anonymous

I've been at uni almost a month now and I don't really have any friends. I have a bunch of people that I "hi, bye" but idk how to move it past that point and actually hang out with them. And there are also 2 girls I hang out with that are alright but idk if I'd consider them friends just yet. I've heard a good way to make friends is to join societies and so on, but I'm struggling to meet people at the societies I've joined, and outside of my flatmates, course and societies I have no idea how else to make friends.

Hi there,

I hope you're keeping well.

Firstly, I just want to let you know that it does take time to get adjusted to new environments, settings, and especially new people.
I completely understand how you feel. It's cliche, and personally I don't like it when people say this to me - but it's true, you're not alone.

As much as I want to, I unfortunately can't magically fix the problem. But at the very least, I can promise you that my advice is a natural start to resolving this issue.

Study with classmates as a pair or in groups. This is a great way to get to know people in your classes and build relationships. If you're not sure how to start, try asking someone if you can study together for an upcoming exam. There are many ways to begin conversations and small talk, you can ask for help with one question or part of the topic you don't understand, you can compliment their backpack, ask the seminar leader for help and follow up to someone else, etc. Some people may not be up for conversations, others will want to talk more than anything, and some may just want to do anything other than seminar work! All I'd recommend with this is to not be too loud if the seminar leader is talking, but other than that, it's a nice and comfortable way to get acquainted with nice people in your classes.
Go to social events. Your university will hopefully be hosting all sorts of social events throughout the year, such as society events, club nights, and sports matches. Go to some of these events, and don't be afraid to talk to people. Ask questions, give them time and space to respond, and hopefully you'll all vibe.
Be more involved with the University: Maybe you can also try to become an ambassador or representative, whereby you'd not only be making money whilst working for the university (and adding more positions to your CV), but where you also get natural opportunities to work alongside and talk to more of your peers.
Most importantly, be yourself, and stay true to yourself. This is just general advice as well, not even for making friends. You are perfect as you are, and one of the worst feelings is changing who you are for people who don't deserve it. The best way to make friends is to be yourself and let your personality shine through. Don't try to be someone you're not just to fit in, as tempting as it may be. I can assure you, you won't regret it.

You sound like a wonderful person, so I assure you, you'll be able to find others who will truly value you. Just give it some time. :biggrin:

So don't give up, it's definitely not easy - but it's not impossible - especially for someone as wonderful as yourself. :smile:

Warm regards,

David
University of Kent Representative

Original post by Anonymous

I've been at uni almost a month now and I don't really have any friends. I have a bunch of people that I "hi, bye" but idk how to move it past that point and actually hang out with them. And there are also 2 girls I hang out with that are alright but idk if I'd consider them friends just yet. I've heard a good way to make friends is to join societies and so on, but I'm struggling to meet people at the societies I've joined, and outside of my flatmates, course and societies I have no idea how else to make friends.

Hey there!

Have you tried making an effort to make some plans with these girls? For example, rather than going on a night out you could invite them to do something completely different like golf or bowling to extend that olive branch. If it's just a hi-bye relationship then it's important to make sure you're going the extra mile to convert the friendship. I'm sure some of these people probably think the same about their relationship with you. If you make the effort to do things outside of uni with these people then it can grow from there. Even something simple like going to the library with your coursemates between lecture. You're kind of at the period now where people have settled in and they're getting too comfortable. Make sure you're always making that effort to keep things going.

One of the best ways I've made friends at uni is by being introduced to them through mutual friends. If you put yourself in social situations, you may find yourself being introduced to new people through people you already know. I met my two best friends this way. So you could join in on the next society night out, sit with a brand new group of people on your course or join your flatmates course night outs. Also make sure you're finding out if there's any new groupchats going on and suggest plans in there. It often takes that little bit of effort to see things through to make new friendships work. A lot of the time, uni students aren't making these plans because they're more passive than active friends. If all else fails, get yourself on Bumble BFF and meet some new friends that way...

Hope this helped!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU

Original post by Anonymous

I've been at uni almost a month now and I don't really have any friends. I have a bunch of people that I "hi, bye" but idk how to move it past that point and actually hang out with them. And there are also 2 girls I hang out with that are alright but idk if I'd consider them friends just yet. I've heard a good way to make friends is to join societies and so on, but I'm struggling to meet people at the societies I've joined, and outside of my flatmates, course and societies I have no idea how else to make friends.

Hi there,
You're definitely not alone, I certainly didn't make many of my uni friends (including people I still speak to now, years later!) until further into my time at uni. Joining societies is a great place to start. If you're not clicking with anybody yet, don't panic. It might take a while to form friendships but once you do, they can last well beyond your uni years.

I'd also suggest volunteering or even taking on a part time job on campus. Your university/student union should have a page with current vacancies. This can be a great way of meeting other students. For example, I used to volunteer to do accommodation tours during on campus open days and this was a fun way of meeting people from different degrees and backgrounds. Plus, I earned a little bit of extra money doing it!

Hope this helps.

- Sophie

Original post by Anonymous

I've been at uni almost a month now and I don't really have any friends. I have a bunch of people that I "hi, bye" but idk how to move it past that point and actually hang out with them. And there are also 2 girls I hang out with that are alright but idk if I'd consider them friends just yet. I've heard a good way to make friends is to join societies and so on, but I'm struggling to meet people at the societies I've joined, and outside of my flatmates, course and societies I have no idea how else to make friends.

Hi there!

My first year was certainly hard to make friends. I'd certainly suggest keep sticking with the societies and attend as many events as you can. You could also set up a study group with some of the people from your course.

I'd also suggest doing some work for the uni. I've started working at some events this year and I've found that I've been able to meet and talk to a range of people from different courses through this!

You can also try finding volunteering opportunities either with your university or within your local area. You never know who you may meet :smile:

Good luck with your first year and enjoy it! I hope this helped.

Susannah (ARU)

Reply 6

University of Sunderland Student Ambassador

Official Rep

11

Original post by Anonymous

I've been at uni almost a month now and I don't really have any friends. I have a bunch of people that I "hi, bye" but idk how to move it past that point and actually hang out with them. And there are also 2 girls I hang out with that are alright but idk if I'd consider them friends just yet. I've heard a good way to make friends is to join societies and so on, but I'm struggling to meet people at the societies I've joined, and outside of my flatmates, course and societies I have no idea how else to make friends.

Clubs and societies are a great way to meet friends as they often hold socials and you have that common ground with them from the start. I'd also recommend becoming a student ambassador as it keeps you busy and you get to hang out with other students. If there are already two girls you're good with I'd recommend making more of an effort with them to secure that friendship too, why not suggest cooking together or a movie night in?

Original post by Anonymous

I've been at uni almost a month now and I don't really have any friends. I have a bunch of people that I "hi, bye" but idk how to move it past that point and actually hang out with them. And there are also 2 girls I hang out with that are alright but idk if I'd consider them friends just yet. I've heard a good way to make friends is to join societies and so on, but I'm struggling to meet people at the societies I've joined, and outside of my flatmates, course and societies I have no idea how else to make friends.

Hi there,

I'm sorry that you've struggled with this but, I assure you, I think that this is pretty common at university. It's harder to build deeper connections. I totally relate to your feelings and have accepted it as part of the experience.

If you meet people whom you are particularly hanging out with and getting to know, then be confident and ask them to do something that you know you both enjoy. Unfortunately, I think the key is to just keep your expectations low and focus on filling your own bucket, you'll meet the right people in time.

All the best,

Jaz - Cardiff student rep

How do I make more friends?

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