Awww... I know exactly how you feel... I'm so scared of failure that I stop trying cos that, in a way, seems better/the easiest option. At the end of the day though, all you can do is your best. I suppose I'm like the blind leading the blind here, but you admitting how much this matters to you is the first step. Next you've just got to buckle down and get the work done. If you try your best and everyone knows that, no one will blame you if you fail and most importantly you won't feel angry with yourself if you fail. Good luck. You still have time to put this right, just believe in yourself.