pros and cons of a LDR

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Pros:
- Sometimes makes you appreciate the person more.
- You can often spend a lot more time together when you are actually together. For example, I was in an LDR when I was 15 and my boyfriend got to stay over at my house, which he wouldn't have been allowed to do otherwise.
- You tend to make better use of the time that you have together.
- You get to stay in the relationship :smile:

Cons:
- You miss each other a lot.
- Expensive.
- Sometimes hard to find times when neither of you are busy so that you can spend a decent amount of time together.
- Can be hard if you don't trust the other person.
- Often argue a lot over silly things when you're not together.

LDRs can really work, you just have to really want it.

Reply 21

so.simple

- Out of site, out of mind

+ Absense makes the heart grow fonder

- Physical separation leads to emotional separation

+ Technology closes that gap.

Reply 22

jaross

just for all the people that find short typing rather annoying.. my bad.. its quicker, and due to texting/msn/facebook for the past 6 years.. its a bit of a habbit that i've picked up! - but i do genuinely talk/write 'normally' if that makes sense!?

thanks everyone for the advice... its given me a lot to think about.. and thats not me being sarcastic!

Reply 23

ellocin

Only you and your boyfriend can decide if a LDR will work for you. It is clearly a difficult situation to be in especially in the long term, but if you love each other then you should try to make it work.

If you do have a LDR make sure you make use of all the technology; phone, text, e-mail, msn, video chats etc but if you are a bit of a romantic a letter is amazing to receive, also you tend to keep them as mementos. Make the best use of the time you have together. And talk, sometime in LDR you don't want to bring an issue up as you want the time you have together to be happy, but if you don't voice your concern it just gets worse.

Best of luck, in whatever you decide.

Reply 24

Jim-ie

Kent to Lincoln isnt really that far, is it? Would be a different story if it was Kent to Edinburgh.

Pros, theres nothing better than seeing each other for the first time in weeks/months. It makes it extra special.

Cons, too many to list.

Reply 25

KA&furious

if it was going to work, I don't think you'd have to do a pros/cons chart. I think you'd just KNOW you wern't ready for it to end and so ther would be no other option that a long distance relationship

sorry!
but of course I don't know you at all
and it could work :-)

Reply 26

Anonymous #2

I am in a LDR with my boyfriend who lives 3000 miles away :frown:

It is very hard but it's always been this way. We met online, spoke for hours everyday about anything and everything, met up and we now love each other so much. I realise that it's very impractical, and people say it won't work due to the distance. I sometimes do worry that he will get bored of the distance and will find someone there, but he assures me he only wants me. In some ways, I wish I didn't have a long distance relationship cause it is very hard and I just want to be close to him. But the alternative will be even worse, I can't give him up now, and he can't give me up either. I don't know what will happen in the future with us, but he always tells me that if we want this enough, we can do it. We talk on msn for hours everyday and text each other and we'll call each other when we miss each other alot. Webcams are also good too. I don't think we have a problem with being emotionally connected at all, we know each other and tell each other everything. Unfortuantely he only comes to England twice a year, but we spent as much time together as we could.

So yeah, if you really want it enough, you can do it. But both of you have to want it. The cons are, you'll miss each other alot, but if you really love him you would probably prefer to be in an LDR than to lose him altogether. I know the pain I would feel if I lose him from my life would be much much worse than the pain I feel from the distance. And the feeling you get when you see them and kiss them etc is just unbelievable :smile: