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my girlfriend has got a male friend and its bothering me

Reply 120

Tsukuyomi

15

dude shag her for the last time and dump her then that guy can pick up your left over

Reply 121

username271381

14

I can understand why you feel like this. Obviously you're with her and you want to feel like you're the most important, but at the same time it's totally out of order to expect her to drop her friend. You mentioned not having female friends out of respect for your girlfriend... it isn't disrespectful to have friends of the opposite sex when you're with someone. Just tell her you're not comfortable with it. I do empathise, as my ex had a really good girl friend that he seemed to spend all his time with before he broke up and it drove me mad, but at the same time I knew I had to just grin and bear it as it wasn't up to me to dictate to him who he can and can't see. It was very difficult sometimes to keep quiet though, so I do see where you're coming from. Don't give her a hard time though or you'll just drive her away.

Reply 122

Kris_McGee

Anonymous

I reallly dont like him, hes with my girlfriend alone all the time. I have met my girlfriend in our 2nd year of college and started going out half way through. She met him in the 2nd year of secondary school. They are just too close, I think. On her 18th I took him aside and said "I think you and my gf hang out too much so can you please leave her alone" and he said " you dont own her, she can choose herself if she wants to see me". I have spoke to her and she says there isnt a problem. she talks to him about me and when I asked him about this he said "girls talk to their friends about boyfriends, It just happens im a boy aswell"

Is there anyway to get rid of him?
Should I ask them to stop talking about me?
Should I say its him or me?

It's people like you who make things awkward for people like me who just want to be friends with girls. Seriously. This has happened to me twice within the last few months and it's not funny anymore.

Reply 123

haz220807

13

She's more likely to spend time with him if you keep trying to stop them.

Unless she's given you any reason to suspect that she's cheating on you with this guy or that she's generally untrustworthy then I don't see why you should be able to dictate who she spends time with. If there's no attraction there then it's no different to her having a girl friend.

Reply 124

Nutta!

10

Schmokie Dragon

You are joking, right?

Well no,

In my opinion, boys will be boys, I reckon they probably do kinda probably actaully do fancy you if they spend quite a bit of time with you... I reckon she's getting the best of both worlds here.

I mean alone with his gf? Come on he reckons he is well in there

Poor boyfriend, he should be the one that she wants to spend a lot of time with on her own accord.

I don't blame the the boyfriend for worrying. I mean do you trust her?

Friends with history igniting an old flame...

Surely she should realise that its upsetting you and do something about it..

Reply 125

Lifeguard_girl

Stop being so controlling and pathetic. You can't stop your girlfriend from having guy mates. She's known him longer than she's known you so just accept it.

Reply 126

joey11223

20

Anonymous

I have heard from people hes so nice anyone who talks to him for more than 5 mins loves him and dont want to let my guard down. They nearly did in year 3 (of their friendship) but its not been mentioned since. I dont like the lad at all how do I know if all that emotional connection doesnt turn them into bf & gf

what probably happened, since their still good friends, was that they tried the proper girlfriend boyfriend relationship at yr 3 of the friendship but they felt weird about it and decided to go back to being friends. Emotionally there's a fine line, obviously physically is where it is different. I mean I have friends of both sexes, if I invited one over for a sleepover we'd probably share my bed(it's a double) with same quilt n such, but that's it. Although it depends on how they are, some don't like that and want there own bed, some like to cuddle up but not go further then that.

Reply 127

Psycho0101

12

Grab her tits and make out in front of him. That would make him jealous.

Or spread some bad rumour about him.

If everything fails, kill him.

Reply 128

mushoo

8

I had the EXACT same problem. my gf has more guy friends than girls, and there was one, ex-bf who hung about with her for ages and all the time when i wasnt about. unfortunately i couldnt do anything, i thought bout everything that i could possibly do.. nothing i thought would work!
Turns out that i managed to find the perfect occasion to get pissed at him related to her. we had a huge arguement about it, and i told her exactly how i felt about them and how they are so close, and it just made her think about it and what it could have been doing to me. she toned it down after that.
one thing i did think of doing was seeing what she would do if i found a friend of the opposite sex and became really really good friends, i.e. texting all the time, seeing each other, going out and stuff together, things like that. jealousy can work, but sometimes it backfires and she just takes it furthur against you!
PM me if you have anything to ask, ive been thru most of it with this, and many other occasions!!

Reply 129

DarkWhite

17

Just keep yourself busy.

If something happens, then be glad you found out what kind of girlfriend you have when you had the chance. I'm not at all suggesting that she would cheat, but there's no point worrying or being bothered by it.

Reply 130

Anonymous #1

OP

joey11223

what probably happened, since their still good friends, was that they tried the proper girlfriend boyfriend relationship at yr 3 of the friendship but they felt weird about it and decided to go back to being friends. Emotionally there's a fine line, obviously physically is where it is different. I mean I have friends of both sexes, if I invited one over for a sleepover we'd probably share my bed(it's a double) with same quilt n such, but that's it. Although it depends on how they are, some don't like that and want there own bed, some like to cuddle up but not go further then that.

She talked about the night they shared a bed she said he roled onto his side (with his back to her).

Reply 131

joey11223

20

Anonymous

She talked about the night they shared a bed she said he roled onto his side (with his back to her).

so when was this?

But like I said I cuddle up to some of my girl-friends and it doesn't mean nothing, they don't exactly go and tell their BF(although only one has one atm) about it but then again what would you prefer? Either she doesn't tell you anything or she's honest and says she shared his bed but it doesn't mean anything and nothing happened, honestly is kind of better in my opinion. At least she isn't hiding him or something.

Reply 132

TomDut

At the end of the day it's a question of trust.
Do you trust her enough not to cheat on you?

If the answer is "Yes" then let her live her life with you and have male friends. I see no problem with men and women being friends in a non-sexual way.
If it's not the 'Cheating Scenario' but rather the amount of time that's bothering you, then why not just ask her to see him a little less and you a little more.

If the answer is "No" to the above question then this guy is the least of your worries.

Reply 133

PeeLee

Your gf has every right to spend time with her good friends whether they are girls or boys. If they've been friends for years would that not make you trust her more, she's had all this time to make him her bf and she never has, which must mean she's not interested?
I wouldn't mention it at all to be honest. If you make her mad/upset all you're going to do is drive her away and he'll be the shoulder she cries on. Just get over it.

Reply 134

spacepirate-James

18

Anonymous

She talked about the night they shared a bed she said he roled onto his side (with his back to her).

isnt that a good thing :confused:

Reply 135

Anonymous #1

OP

joey11223

so when was this?

But like I said I cuddle up to some of my girl-friends and it doesn't mean nothing, they don't exactly go and tell their BF(although only one has one atm) about it but then again what would you prefer? Either she doesn't tell you anything or she's honest and says she shared his bed but it doesn't mean anything and nothing happened, honestly is kind of better in my opinion. At least she isn't hiding him or something.

it was her 18th, I was there too... he was ment to sleep on the sofa and me in the bed but I passed out on the sofa. He tried to sleep on the floor but she said dont be stupid and he slept in her (double) bed. Im still abit mad about it but when I confronted him he said "you want to sleep in her bed so bad dont pass out on mine" and I didnt have an answer

Reply 136

rockyone2

9

Anonymous

it was her 18th, I was there too... he was ment to sleep on the sofa and me in the bed but I passed out on the sofa. He tried to sleep on the floor but she said dont be stupid and he slept in her (double) bed. Im still abit mad about it but when I confronted him he said "you want to sleep in her bed so bad dont pass out on mine" and I didnt have an answer

That was your fault then :o:

Reply 137

utd88

get over it.

or don't take my advice. if you don't you will lose. start another thread when that happens :L

Reply 138

joey11223

20

Anonymous

it was her 18th, I was there too... he was ment to sleep on the sofa and me in the bed but I passed out on the sofa. He tried to sleep on the floor but she said dont be stupid and he slept in her (double) bed. Im still abit mad about it but when I confronted him he said "you want to sleep in her bed so bad dont pass out on mine" and I didnt have an answer

Man can I just say this guy is brilliant and good comebacks!

But yeah that's not even as bad as I thought. I thought you meant he stayed at her house overnight and they shared the bed. This is just like crashing at a party, aint his fault you took the sofa.

Reply 139

Anon the 7th

just be less insecure in your relationship

my girlfriend has got a male friend and its bothering me

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