Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

What the hell - suddenly a social outcast =/

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Ive seen this happen, both from the inside and out. a couple of new years ago, I blacked out and apparently did some silly stuff. took me a month before some of those mates invited me out to something again. considering I have since done so much worse, I was really confused. I have done terrible things, and been a total c**t and still been forgiven by other sets of mates.

as for you, youd be surprised how much backstabbing goes on in some friendship groups.

This. I've done some stupid and embarrassing **** as well. Then been blanked by people. Thankfully I've also got friends who do stupid, embarrassing ****. So the moral is to find people you've got more in common with and leave the tight arsed ****ers to it.

Also, if I've got a problem with how someone's acting (although I rarely do), i tell them there and then. I don't just purposefully leave them out of stuff. That's just bullying

Reply 21

crazylemon

I can't say I have been in the same situation, I have been closer to the other side. Knowing it is going on and not being able to do anything else to help other than deliberately not going to things.

Reply 22

sarahthegemini

OP - You sound like you've been the best friend you could possibly have been, these people don't deserve you. I have nothing helpful to say except, atleast now you know those particular people were not real friends.

Reply 23

Aspiringlawstudent

Rejected for 4/6 birthday parties oh my god how will you live with the shame? :nooo:

Reply 24

OrangeSocks

Have you actually spoken to them to ask why they're being like that?

Reply 25

i.am.lost

Get over it. There's far worse that could happen to you.

Reply 26

Steezy

Original post by OrangeSocks

Have you actually spoken to them to ask why they're being like that?

They'll most likely make some **** excuse up. I say just cut all contact with them unless they contact OP first.

Reply 27

JessyAnn

Original post by Ammo

No actually I was the quiet one who everyone trusts with private stuff, was always there for everyone, had jokes with everyone and in general was a half decent mate....or so I thought

My friends from college dumped me when we all started uni. They're all still friends and I've just been forgotten about. It doesn't bother me so much now but it really did at the time. Still not sure what I've done. I think it's because I'm too quiet need to start sticking up for myself more!

Reply 28

Cassandra_Z

That's a bit on the harsh side don't you think?
I disagree with you on the part where you say "There's no such thing as best friends". Most of my best friends have never done me wrong and have always stuck with me even when I was a *****y moody person in my worst state. I don't know if you've just been f*cked over too many times or what your situation is, but you can't just generalize people like that.

There are few though who I thought would always be there for me, but in the end it just made me love my close friends even more. I know I can't say everyone is down-to-earth, but there is such a thing as best friends. You just have to know which ones are true and how to burn the bridges with the ones that arent.

(Sorry if my post is a bit too long.)

Reply 29

sarahthegemini

You are silly if you think there is no such thing as 'best friends; or maybe you've just been unfortunate and have met a bunch of tossers :s-smilie:

Reply 30

username380364

THIS
Its always the quiet ones that get eventually pushed aside. When your friends become independant and don't need favours anymore, whats the point of you in their friendship group. Harsh but true.

Reply 31

JGR

Friends are not forever. Nor are they absolute.

Sometimes you should just say no when they ask for favours, especially if they don't reciprocate. Always being willing to do their dirty work just makes you the sort of friend that they'll come to when they want something doing, not when they actually want to socialise/whatever.

I've written off the majority of my friends quite a few times over already, it's not such a big deal. You'll meet new people.

Reply 32

Cassandra_Z

Lol what your stating is naive since your basing your argument off of our age. It doesn't matter what age you are, people still have best/close friends. When a person marries someone, is that not the same concept as a "bestfriend" whom you would "entrust your life with".

How about let's just agree to disagree, because obviously you are sticking to your little "naive living in a bubble theory".

Reply 33

sarahthegemini

No, I think you are just a very negative person. You're telling me to live in the real world? Erm, I think you're the one with the issue, MOST people have someone that they trust completely, you sadly do not. That doesn't mean 'best friends' are hard to come by, it just means you haven't got one.

Reply 34

Jellybean91

wow im so sorry that must suck big time :frown:

but you know who your friends are now! just talk to them and tell them to stop being ********s if it bothers you (which im guessing it does, that would bother me too :frown:

) hope it all works out for you!

Reply 35

Sheepsy

I know what you're feeling OP. My best friend is the type that can be amazing and such a laugh- but also is the type to side with whoever she thinks is most 'powerful' in the situation. It means that by herself, I love her to pieces, and then as soon as we're in any sort of group situation, she'll make fun of me, or ignore me, because she wants to make sure she's best friends with everyone else.
I have lots of other friends, so I'm okay really, but it does get so frustrating!!
A friend of mine turned to me the other day, and just said, "MyBestFriend is so two faced! What the hell!", and I just felt so relieved that someone else had noticed what she was like.
But yeah :smile:

People are dicks.

Reply 36

AidyD

Lol... How old are you? I hope your under 20 so that you are just being niave... If your over your just trying too hard...

You know?

Reply 37

alibobs

I didn't agree with you until I thought about it twice, but I see your point.
When i was a few years younger, I would have trusted my life with 5 or 6 people (and probably be dead now if the situation had arisen). I agree with your original quote about actually entrusting your life to someone, it's not something you can genuinely trust most friends with. Honestly, maybe especially being female, maybe it has no bearing really, but I think friends will quite quickly stab you in the back if it will help them. If I'm totally honest, I would say actually I only have one friend who might die for me. When i was 18, i would have said 5 or 6 people, but it wouldn't have been true. It would be what I liked to think about our friendship. we would tell each other we would die for each other, but seriously?! Course we wouldn't. I have close friends, who I would tell anything to and trust them not to tell a soul, but not that I would trust my life with. If push came to shove, most people will save themselves over you hands down unless you're related or incredibly close.
Like you say, it depends on the definition of best friend you have.

Reply 38

Cassandra_Z

Are you still so sure on your "distinctions" between a best friend and close friend?:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/best+friend

http://thesaurus.com/browse/best%20friend?__utma=1.1177829399.1282770684.1285204957.1286478231.6&__utmb=1.3.9.1291225202366&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1283543050.4.2.utmcsr=ask|utmccn=(organic)|utmcmd=organic|utmctr=diffused%20lighting&__utmv=-&__utmk=180106788

It may just because we have different views on things, but for me when I am to marry someone I want it to be with a guy I consider a best friends. It's exactly the same concept. That's what many people base their marriage off. It's one of the reasons my parents got married together, because they were best friends then became a couple which later resulted in marriage.

Same concept.

Reply 39

Cassandra_Z

So your now basing another thing like spelling something incorrectly as a reason to say that someone is 12? That's interesting.