Why would he be distant now?

My closest guy friend (in UNI) and I get along really well. We tend to spend hours upon hours together after lectures. When we're alone together, I can feel "something" between us and we're just more flirty (more physical than anything else really..like "wrestling" or hugging/cuddling or whatever). The other night, we got into a situation where our faces were practically inches apart and I could've sworn had I not backed away we would've kissed.

Bascially, Ive never kissed anyone before so I just quickly said something to avoid possibly kissing....

Even before this, no matter how close I'd put my face to his, he'd never back away.

Since then, he's a little more distant with me. No longer initiates hugs or physical stuff. It's just strange....I asked him why he's being so distant and he just said he's not. It's seriously like he's become shy all of a sudden.

(edited 13 years ago)

OP

Bump

Original post by The TSR Star.

My closest guy friend (in UNI) and I get along really well. We tend to spend hours upon hours together after lectures. When we're alone together, I can feel "something" between us and we're just more flirty (more physical than anything else really..like "wrestling" or hugging/cuddling or whatever). The other night, we got into a situation where our faces were practically inches apart and I could've sworn had I not backed away we would've kissed.

Bascially, Ive never kissed anyone before so I just quickly said something to avoid possibly kissing....

Even before this, no matter how close I'd put my face to his, he'd never back away.

Since then, he's a little more distant with me. No longer initiates hugs or physical stuff. It's just strange....I asked him why he's being so distant and he just said he's not. It's seriously like he's become shy all of a sudden.

Maybe he's worried that he tried to move too fast? Talk to him!

Reply 3

Huskaris

16

Original post by The TSR Star.

My closest guy friend (in UNI) and I get along really well. We tend to spend hours upon hours together after lectures. When we're alone together, I can feel "something" between us and we're just more flirty (more physical than anything else really..like "wrestling" or hugging/cuddling or whatever). The other night, we got into a situation where our faces were practically inches apart and I could've sworn had I not backed away we would've kissed.

Bascially, Ive never kissed anyone before so I just quickly said something to avoid possibly kissing....

Even before this, no matter how close I'd put my face to his, he'd never back away.

Since then, he's a little more distant with me. No longer initiates hugs or physical stuff. It's just strange....I asked him why he's being so distant and he just said he's not. It's seriously like he's become shy all of a sudden.

He thinks you rejected him and that you don't fancy him, so he is acting less like a boyfriend and more like a friend (which he is). He is reacting to what you did, he is being considerate.

Reply 4

The TSR Star.

OP

11

Original post by Tootles

Maybe he's worried that he tried to move too fast? Talk to him!

I've tried to talk to him about why he's acting so different around me, but he insists that he's not. It's obvious he doesn't want to tell me the truth though. He's just acting really neutral with me...it's weird.

Original post by Huskaris

He thinks you rejected him and that you don't fancy him, so he is acting less like a boyfriend and more like a friend (which he is). He is reacting to what you did, he is being considerate.

I only "backed away" because I've never kissed anyone before and at that moment I really didn't want to - i was too nervous to. I do fancy him though, but now he's just being a bit of an idiot.

Reply 5

Huskaris

16

Yeah, I'm not criticising you at all :biggrin:

Im just saying, this is what you need to make clear to him, that you do actually fancy him and that you didn't back away cos you don't

Good luck though :-D

Reply 6

Genevieve*

I agree that he is feeling rejected, thus a little embarassed.
I think you need to be upfront with him, if there is chemistry there and you think you want him as a potential boyfriend then you have to be honest... tell him you only pulled away because you were nervous, not because you didn't want to kiss him. I'm sure he will understand and the atmosphere will be a lot better between the two of you.

Let us know how you get on x

Reply 7

The TSR Star.

OP

11

I just don't know how to bring that subject up again though....

Reply 8

The TSR Star.

OP

11

Original post by hagrid's big toe

No easy way, but the fact is, he is more than likely feeling rejected by you as anything more than a friend.

He is probably being considerate as people have said above; wants to do the physical stuff again, but remembers how you reacted and thinks he may be making you feel uncomfortable if he does.

You could just find the right moment and try to kiss him?

Isn't kissing now really weird anyway? I always thought that kisses come after a date or two? :confused:

Reply 9

Roo Bix

11

Haha, how sweet!

It could be that he thinks he's made all the right moves, yet still feels that despite his efforts you both are just not going to feel the same about each other (which is not the case, you like him).

All you need to do is tell him that you have never kissed anyone before. I'm sure you will both laugh about it and end up kissing afterwards :giggle:

Reply 10

paddyman4

14

Original post by The TSR Star.

Isn't kissing now really weird anyway? I always thought that kisses come after a date or two? :confused:

Only if he takes you to the 1950s for those dates.

Reply 11

username47781

20

talk to him about your feelings, simples!

Reply 12

Tootles

21

Original post by The TSR Star.

I've tried to talk to him about why he's acting so different around me, but he insists that he's not. It's obvious he doesn't want to tell me the truth though. He's just acting really neutral with me...it's weird.

I only "backed away" because I've never kissed anyone before and at that moment I really didn't want to - i was too nervous to. I do fancy him though, but now he's just being a bit of an idiot.

You fancy him. He went to kiss you, so he obviously likes you. But you pulled away, so he thinks you don't fancy him. So... talk to him again. Tell him you fancy him, and you pulled away because you've never kissed before. Tell him you'd like him to teach you to kiss.

Remember, he can no more read your mind than you can his.

Reply 13

hothedgehog

16

If you don't want to be upfront when talking to him or you don't want to kiss him then initiate something more innocent which can be construed as affection. Something like more frequent long hugs or holding hands or something. He should get the idea that you just want to go a bit slower. Failing that, get drunk.

Reply 14

The TSR Star.

OP

11

alright, thanks everyone. I reckon i'll just try and get him to stop being so annoying and be normal again...somehow

Reply 15

rylit91

3

Original post by Huskaris

He thinks you rejected him and that you don't fancy him, so he is acting less like a boyfriend and more like a friend (which he is). He is reacting to what you did, he is being considerate.

Your sig always tickles me :smile:

Reply 16

swordedstone

Original post by Huskaris

He thinks you rejected him and that you don't fancy him, so he is acting less like a boyfriend and more like a friend (which he is). He is reacting to what you did, he is being considerate.

This.

OR walk right upto him and without saying a word,kiss the daylights off him. then tell him that was for not doing it that day and all the other days y'all actually should have. :wink: