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Worried about my friend's boyfriend.

I recently met up with my friend this Christmas and went to the pub with her new boyfriend and his friend. Problem was, he hasn't made a great first impression. When we were out, some guys approached me and started trying their luck a bit, and he got really angry at them, telling them to back off me. At first I thought it was him just being a nice person, but he came across like he was protecting me too much. Then, once I got home, he had immediately added me on facebook from his phone when we were in the pub which I thought was strange but to b polite I accepted him thinking that would be the end of it, one of those people who add everyone they ever meet sort of thing. However, he keeps talking to me over facebook, putting kisses after things he says, being really flirty. Last night he gave me his mobile number and told me to text him as he was about to get into bed and wanted me to text him, which was really inappropriate, and I know for sure that my friend would be very upset by this. I'm now stuck about whether to tell my friend or not or to wait and see, but he doesn't seem like he's going to back off anytime soon and I don't want my friend to get hurt. I also don't want to get caught in the middle of something either. I'm going to copy and paste what was said just incase I do need to show my friend. What should I do? Do I tell my friend? I would hope/am pretty sure she would believe me over him, but she's pretty much fallen head over heels for him too - eek!

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Reply 1

dontlookforme

Hmm tell him to back off a bit? Ask him what he is playing at? Tell him you're not comfortable talking to him that much? He should back off. If he doesn't, then tell your friend. Afterall he is only a 'new' boyfriend, plenty of others out there, its best she knows what he is like early on

Did you text him?

Nope I didn't text him, I just ignored what he said as he went offline.

Reply 4

Knighted

Wait. He hasn't done enough to look THAT bad yet. Just wait, if it gets worse then tell your friend with evidence.

Reply 5

littlehobbit

Agree with above - there's no need to do anything yet. Perhaps he just wants to get to know you as you're his girlfriend's friend. Wait until he gives you a reason to tell your friend before you do! Just don't text him or chat to him, you can easily ignore / avoid him!

Reply 6

Keckers

I'd guess he's got with your friend as a means to get to you.

Well, that's what the current evidence points to.

Reply 7

Guinea Pig Lover

My boyfriend would text my friends with kisses, and he'd definitely make an effort to get to know them.. Maybe he's just being friendly?

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Guinea Pig Lover

My boyfriend would text my friends with kisses, and he'd definitely make an effort to get to know them.. Maybe he's just being friendly?

It's more than friendly. He puts kisses after every reply he sends, like; 'so how are you today? x x' He only just met me, but he knows I'm recently single. He asked me to text him because he was going to bed and wanted me to text him in bed, that's definately crossing the line.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Keckers

I'd guess he's got with your friend as a means to get to you.

Well, that's what the current evidence points to.

I've literally only just met him though so that's really strange!

Reply 10

Fuzzpig

This is something I would tell my friend, personally. You don't want to risk looking like you were a part of it if things... escalate.

Reply 11

Keckers

How much better looking are you than your friend?

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by Keckers

How much better looking are you than your friend?

I don't think that's a very relevant questions really :rolleyes:

Reply 13

Shuvel

Original post by Anonymous

OMG HE SENT YOU 2 KISSES HE MUST BE WANTING IN YOUR PANTS. Get over yourself. Seriously.
I talk to most of my girlfriends close friends, to the point I'm actually just as much friends with a couple of them as she is, doesn't make me a serial sex pest. I give my closest female friend 3 kisses in texts, and it doesn't mean anything...
Texting in bed doesn't immediately mean he wants to **** over your texts. He does seem to be a bit too needy but may just be him seeming eager to get on with his girlfriends friends.

Go copy paste this "flirty" facebook stuff you've been getting off him then?

Reply 14

shemi

Definitely tell your friend. If she doesn't believe you, she'll find out on her own soon enough.

Reply 15

d123

You're almost certainly overreacting. To me, it sounds like he's being friendly. If his girlfriend is a good friend of yours, he probably wants her to see that he can get on with her friends, because most people would want to get on with their other half's friends. Protecting you against the guys was just him being nice. Adding you on facebook and putting kisses after texts is nothing unusual.

To me, it certainly seems like he's just one of those people who are perhaps slightly over-friendly, but I wouldn't say there's anything behind it. I could be wrong but I really really doubt there's anything for you to worry about; you're probably just being slightly paranoid!

Reply 16

d123

Original post by shemi

Definitely tell your friend. If she doesn't believe you, she'll find out on her own soon enough.

Why? That would just complicate matters - what's almost certainly just innocent friendliness could turn into, quite possibly, a big fight between the two for absolutely no reason. If there's nothing to find out, and nothing to tell, there's no point in risking a relationship because someone puts kisses at the end of texts.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

I think people are thinking that I'm over reacting because he puts kisses after everything he asks me. There are other things that have happened, such as him giving me his mobile number and asking him to text him because he was going to bed. I know for a fact, my friend would be upset that he asked me to text him when he was going to bed, because it's a bit more than being friendly.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Original post by HaHaLOL

He could easily explain away all those things if you did tell your freind.. you need to wait until you have solid evidence that hes actually doing something wrong before you start making accusations, otherwise you'll end up looking like a jealous idiot.

Yeah, that is a VERY good point. He could make excuses for all of these things, and then make it look like I am after him or something which would make me look like a bad friend too. Thanks, that's really good advice :smile: