Devastated after being rejected by the girl I loved

Hey all,

To make an extremely long story long... :tongue:

I got to know this girl last year and we spent a lot of time together - we were really close friends. I started to really like her. However, around the time of her birthday I found out she had a boyfriend, which really upset me as she didn't ever mention him once.

I kept my feelings locked up inside me but she knew something was wrong, things were just not the same between us. She'd constantly text me and ask me what was wrong, with me making up some mundane excuse that I was having family problems etc. I feared if I told her the truth we would ruin whatever we had, and I could not bare to think about it.

Last week, I mustered up the guts to tell her and bit the bullet. She seemed to take it fairly well and apologised for appearing to lead me on. She told me she had never allowed herself to look at me in that way but she think that we might have a future - but she "didn't know the future" :confused:

She needed time to think and clear her mind. I told her about her boyfriend, but according to her he was just a close friend who always managed to piss her off anyway.

I gave her time and asked what we should do. I couldn't see her as a friend any more. She kept giving me mixed answers, like "maybe we should do things together" to the "I don't know".

Yesterday I told her to give me a definite answer as I wanted to move on and not be stuck in limbo with her. She said she wouldn't do anything unless it was for marriage and then got really upset and cut off, not talking to me. I apologised to her via text and today she texted me saying she was really confused about how to behave around me as I "obviously got the wrong impression".

I know things are broken now to the extent that our friendship may be irrepairable. I got really upset last night and didn't sleep a wink, she's psychologically torturing me.

I love this girl so much, every thing makes me think of her and the thought of not being able to have even a chance of a relationship shatters my heart to shreds.

I think she also lied about the close friend not being her boyfriend, but I'm not sure.

How can I get over her? I'm so depressed right now, I can't find enjoyment in anything as I'm reminded of her in everything I do. She is everything to me, and part of me thinks I should've lived in ignorance and never told her how I felt. She is perfect and I don't think I'll ever find anyone like her.

Is there anything that can mend a broken heart? :frown:

Any advice much appreciated and thanks for reading.

That is all.

Cliffs?

She clearly really cares about you. Do you know why she doesn't see you the same way? It seems strange that if you were so close you wouldn't be aware of this 'boyfriend' :/

What does she mean by 'not doing anything unless it's for marriage'?

It sounds like you've fallen hard for her, and she does sound very confused about her feelings. Ask her why she feels things have changed between her so much

Reply 4

Charzhino

19

youll have forgotten about her in a year maybe less

Took me just under a year to be emotionally over the guy I was friends with + loved. We're not friends now, though. I don't know how it'll be for you if you continue to have her rubbed in your face, so to speak.

Try time and distraction, they both help.

Reply 7

silverbolt

19

It sounds trite but honestly the only thing that ever mends a broken heart is time, things will help, hobbies, ONS (great for helping clear your head) friends, family having fun, but ultimately it takes time

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Original post by silverbolt

It sounds trite but honestly the only thing that ever mends a broken heart is time, things will help, hobbies, ONS (great for helping clear your head) friends, family having fun, but ultimately it takes time

How would the Office for National Statistics help? :tongue:

Reply 9

Charm&Witt_93

Aww i think i had a tear in my eye there... :frown:

basicly i think you should give her time and be friends until then...text her once in a while to show you still care, but dont be too overbearing ..well..uknow...just be there.

Reply 10

Lawlet

First you ned to understand there is many girls out there

Second the way you approach this matter is pretty bad: from what you said she she obviously cared about you, therefore you had a chance, but you want her to give you a defo answer, then she got very upset; i know you said sorry, but she probably re-estimated you and think you are not as good as she think you were, hence this saying she was really confused about how to behave around me as I "obviously got the wrong impression". Yet this could be said to just revenge you because you made her cry.

Thirdly there is another possibility, she just like to mess round with guys.

Either way you blown your chance.

Reply 11

fishfacesimpson

9

Listen, I had a ****ty 2010 for similar reasons. I was great friends with this girl, we started to do coupley stuff, we liked eachother but I obviously was a lot more into her than she was me. I couldn't cope being friends anymore, i kept thinking I had a chance, in the end I just pushed her further and further away and we no longer talk. Almost a year ago to the day one evening she told me how much she liked me, how she wished something had happened etc. We slept together and the next morning she said she just wants to be friends and basically ignored me from then on and just blamed alcohol. I was ****ing devestated.

**** her.

It took me about a year to get over her because I got further and further into my own self wallow and pity. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE. It's sad, it's pathetic and it'll ruin your life.

As the above post says there are a few possibilities about what went on in her head but best to move on. Hang out with the friends you've got, play some sports, go on holiday if you can, do some revision, whatever. Just do something and forget her.

Everyone makes mistakes in life, you may or may not have done in this instance so no point analysing everything that happened piece by piece. Just learn from it.

"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the **** on."

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks all for the brilliant advice and support. I feel a lot better. I figure I shall have to move on.

Just got a text asking if I want to meet up later this week. Tempted as I am I figure I'll let it pass, there's only so much f******g my mind can take.

Is this friendship irrepairable? Do I stand a chance for the future or will things never be the same?

Reply 13

jimimick

2

Original post by Arcanine

That is all.

LMFAO, tht was a quality post ;P

Reply 14

Lawlet

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks all for the brilliant advice and support. I feel a lot better. I figure I shall have to move on.

Just got a text asking if I want to meet up later this week. Tempted as I am I figure I'll let it pass, there's only so much f******g my mind can take.

Is this friendship irrepairable? Do I stand a chance for the future or will things never be the same?

Meet up with her and find a chance to hold he and then just kiss her and see what happen, i never tried it; always wanted to but fear the outcome and don't forget tell me the result if it works i'll try it as well. :smile:

Reply 15

fishfacesimpson

9

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks all for the brilliant advice and support. I feel a lot better. I figure I shall have to move on.

Just got a text asking if I want to meet up later this week. Tempted as I am I figure I'll let it pass, there's only so much f******g my mind can take.

Is this friendship irrepairable? Do I stand a chance for the future or will things never be the same?

Depends

The girl I was with is a complete idiot, she has no idea how to deal with tough situations. Her solution is to simply walk away and ignore it. Mutually deciding to have some space is a good thing, one person ignoring another isn't. Best way, IMO, is to have some space, get a chance to talk and let everything out and see how things go from there but keep your distance.

But to be honest, you're talking about "friendship" now. I used to do that all the time. When you're in that position you don't realise that you just use friendship as an excuse to get close and spend time with someone you wanna have a relationship with. You look for little things that give you hope that something might happen, you keep hoping something will happen. If the other person doesn't feel that way it is a VERY unhealthy position to be in.

Just give eachother some space would be my advice

Devastated after being rejected by the girl I loved

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