To the people who don't really receive romantic/sexual attention, but are content...
I want to know - how on earth do you do it?
It's killing me and depressing me that no one seems to want me
. Sometimes I worry about being alone forever.
I want to know your secrets for keeping cool about it.
It's killing me and depressing me that no one seems to want me
. Sometimes I worry about being alone forever.I want to know your secrets for keeping cool about it.
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There is no pressure outside a relationship to keep your girlfriend interested, assuming you aren't really actively trying to get a girlfriend.
I've been pretty fine with it all my life, I mean sometimes I feel like I should have tried a bit harder to get a girlfriend but most of the time I'm pretty happy. 17 by the way.
I've been pretty fine with it all my life, I mean sometimes I feel like I should have tried a bit harder to get a girlfriend but most of the time I'm pretty happy. 17 by the way.
self-love
My right hand. 
You obviously aren't trying hard enough.
Think with your head instead of your heart.
Chances are, you're only in your teens or early 20s, which means you've only met a tiny proportion of the total number of people you'll meet in your lifetime. So it's highly unlikely that you'll have met 'the one' at such a young age. Would you rather date someone just for the sake of it, or wait till you find someone you really like? If it's the latter, then there's nothing you can do. Be patient, be glad that you don't have to struggle with a complex/difficult relationship, and enjoy the single life whilst looking forward to meeting that special person
Chances are, you're only in your teens or early 20s, which means you've only met a tiny proportion of the total number of people you'll meet in your lifetime. So it's highly unlikely that you'll have met 'the one' at such a young age. Would you rather date someone just for the sake of it, or wait till you find someone you really like? If it's the latter, then there's nothing you can do. Be patient, be glad that you don't have to struggle with a complex/difficult relationship, and enjoy the single life whilst looking forward to meeting that special person
(edited 13 years ago)
You need to learn to understand that you don't need anyone else to make you happy. Relationships aren't like disney fairytales so there are many things that should make you happy that you don't have a bf/gf. I'm glad that I can do whatever I want, because I don't have a bf right now so I can move away if I want and I don't have to think about what to do and when. Having a bf/gf is usually very time consuming. There might be arguing, jealousy or you may even have to do things that you hate.
Be around your friends, have hobbies. Live for yourself, not for someone else.
Be around your friends, have hobbies. Live for yourself, not for someone else.
Single is the place to be my friend. Do what you want, when you want and with whom you desire.
Had two long term girlfriends between the ages of eighteen to twenty-one. I'm twenty one now, and just before Christmas (shortly before my birthday), I made after Hume and dedicated myself to literature, writing and the study of the arts and general cultures of the world.
I'm being deadly serious, and you know what? I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life. The pleasure you get from understanding and relishing in the knowledge that you have experienced the greatest thoughts and philosophical systems to date is worth more than meaningless ****ing. Same goes with learning new languages, experiencing new cultures, meeting new people; the whole works.
I'm not saying I'd actively shun any attention I received from a lady, though she'd have to be damn impressive and not just 'some bird I found attractive' for me to consider going into a relationship. One night stands, flings etc, I've never been into. Complete waste of time.
Like Hume, I plan on doing this for ten years. Though being so used to it, and garnering such a great deal of pleasure from the things I've learned, I'll probably do it for much longer.
To get to the juicy stuff: I haven't had sex in four months now, and don't miss it one bit (when considering the cons of a relationship, that is).
I'm being deadly serious, and you know what? I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life. The pleasure you get from understanding and relishing in the knowledge that you have experienced the greatest thoughts and philosophical systems to date is worth more than meaningless ****ing. Same goes with learning new languages, experiencing new cultures, meeting new people; the whole works.
I'm not saying I'd actively shun any attention I received from a lady, though she'd have to be damn impressive and not just 'some bird I found attractive' for me to consider going into a relationship. One night stands, flings etc, I've never been into. Complete waste of time.
Like Hume, I plan on doing this for ten years. Though being so used to it, and garnering such a great deal of pleasure from the things I've learned, I'll probably do it for much longer.
To get to the juicy stuff: I haven't had sex in four months now, and don't miss it one bit (when considering the cons of a relationship, that is).
I've come to terms with the fact that no one wants me, and yeh it hurt when I was like 15/16 but im 20 know and it doesn't hurt as bad its like I've put all those 'well it'll happen, I just have to wait blah blah' in a box of sort, locked the key and thrown it away. Why deny the inevitable its never going to happen and it's softening the blow when I'm 30 and still alone it won't hit be as bad. Oh I know I am going to be one those ladies with like 10 cats lol!
One of my friends phones me specifically every 2 weeks to tell me about her love life and whats going on with her so I kind of get my romance fix from her (sad I know). It always annoys me when the conversation ends with her saying so what about you found anyone yet, she knows there will never be anyone so why ask??? It also annoys me as she is a beautiful girl but treats her body like crap.
On the other hand I have another friend who is beautiful, intelligent and well feels like she will never find anyone its so annoying as any guy would be lucky to have her!!!
That doesn't meant to say I don't have crushes and stuff I really like this guy on my course but refuse to ever talk to him. Just seeing him in lectures and about uni is enough. I am also probably the biggest romantic there is out there, on Friday there was this really old couple on the train having a small argument and you could tell they were in love ohh wow to be together that long and still be in love know that is beautiful and what everyone should be aiming for!
so yes I am content as I have come to terms with how my life will run, I don't like it but that is life!
One of my friends phones me specifically every 2 weeks to tell me about her love life and whats going on with her so I kind of get my romance fix from her (sad I know). It always annoys me when the conversation ends with her saying so what about you found anyone yet, she knows there will never be anyone so why ask??? It also annoys me as she is a beautiful girl but treats her body like crap.
On the other hand I have another friend who is beautiful, intelligent and well feels like she will never find anyone its so annoying as any guy would be lucky to have her!!!
That doesn't meant to say I don't have crushes and stuff I really like this guy on my course but refuse to ever talk to him. Just seeing him in lectures and about uni is enough. I am also probably the biggest romantic there is out there, on Friday there was this really old couple on the train having a small argument and you could tell they were in love ohh wow to be together that long and still be in love know that is beautiful and what everyone should be aiming for!
so yes I am content as I have come to terms with how my life will run, I don't like it but that is life!
There's enough in my life that makes me happy. I have my own ambitions and goals, and meaningful relationships with friends and family. If I was to meet someone special, then great, but they wouldn't be filling a void, they'd be something extra. Special, but still extra.
What really makes you tick? What are you interested in? What do you enjoy? Focus on that.
What really makes you tick? What are you interested in? What do you enjoy? Focus on that.
Good helpful answers, thank you everybody
If you want other people to love you, you should first love yourself. Build a great life for yourself and you'll naturally attract a guy / girl. If you need a bf / gf to be happy then you'll display really unattractive behaviours - neediness, clinginess, etc - which will repel them, and your relationship won't work.
Einstein is often quoted as saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results. If you don't have the life you want, then CHANGE something. Join some clubs, find some new hobbies, go to the gym.
Whether you're a girl or guy, getting a great body will help attract the opposite sex - so visit the Fitness forum. To start off with you could try eating more fruit and vegetables, and cutting out or reducing your soft drink and fast food consumption. If you don't change your diet there's no way you'll get a great body, however much exercise you do.
For exercise, do something you enjoy. Take up a sport, or perhaps go to some dance or martial arts classes. Ideally do some weightlifting as well (even if you're a girl - you don't have enough testosterone to become big and muscular, so don't worry). Focus on the compound exercises (squat, deadlift, benchpress, chin-ups / pull-ups, overhead press, etc).
Follow the steps above and your confidence will improve massively, you'll end up with a very sexy body, and a larger social circle - all of which will make it much more likely for you to get some romantic interest.
Best of luck!
magic
PS: For when you've completed the steps above (and only if you're female): How's it goin'? (Said in Joey Tribbiani's accent)
Einstein is often quoted as saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results. If you don't have the life you want, then CHANGE something. Join some clubs, find some new hobbies, go to the gym.
Whether you're a girl or guy, getting a great body will help attract the opposite sex - so visit the Fitness forum. To start off with you could try eating more fruit and vegetables, and cutting out or reducing your soft drink and fast food consumption. If you don't change your diet there's no way you'll get a great body, however much exercise you do.
For exercise, do something you enjoy. Take up a sport, or perhaps go to some dance or martial arts classes. Ideally do some weightlifting as well (even if you're a girl - you don't have enough testosterone to become big and muscular, so don't worry). Focus on the compound exercises (squat, deadlift, benchpress, chin-ups / pull-ups, overhead press, etc).
Follow the steps above and your confidence will improve massively, you'll end up with a very sexy body, and a larger social circle - all of which will make it much more likely for you to get some romantic interest.
Best of luck!
magic
PS: For when you've completed the steps above (and only if you're female): How's it goin'? (Said in Joey Tribbiani's accent)
They probably secretly hate it.
Or they know that relationships arn't important atm?
I don't really think anyone could have NO attention what so ever though?
Or they know that relationships arn't important atm?
I don't really think anyone could have NO attention what so ever though?
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