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Family secret

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Reply 20
Curiosity killed the cat.

I killed the cat,, because it's curiosity, led it to me.

Moral of the story is mind your own business.
Reply 21
Original post by ilovecoffee
It really didnt concern you. sometimes we have things we dont want others to know about. what if it had been something your sister was concerned about and wanted your dads advice on the matter. you went in and invaded her privacy.

Im sure your dad will tell you when he feels the time is right. although the email makes it seem like he knew about his son he might not have been able to have any contact and therefor is trying to figgure things out himself.

and the moral as always to these stories is dont look if you cant handle it

For the last time on this thread, I know I shouldn't have looked at the emails, and the guilt of invading their privacy is actually stronger than the anger or upset I feel about the whole situation. There is never going to be a right time to tell us, there'll always be something in the way.

Original post by Horsedobbin
You should not interfere in things that are none of your business. If your father has got a son it's his business and if he doesn't happen to like that son it's up to him. You should not have looked at private emails and they could even complain to the police about that. To put it bluntly, get on with your own live and don't stick your nose in..


I really doubt they will report me to the police over looking in an email account which used to be the family email, hence the reason I know the password.
When you search through someone's e-mail, if you don't find anything out then you would have been wrong to do it. Yet you did and your suspicions were justified. Don't feel guilty.

In my family,
a secret was kept from me, although my Mom wanted to tell me, and did eventually (after allowing me to guess). My Dad was adopted and the people who I thought were my grandparents (and extended family) turned out to not be blood relations. Although there was no way of me finding this out before this, I can kind of empathise with your situation. I would suggest that you confront them, you are within your rights too and you might get the answers you want.
Original post by zoewolff
It's nothing to do with respect. OP clearly stated that she was worried that something bad might be happening to a close family member, so they only checked the email out of fear and to reassure themself that everything was ok. Sometimes people just get too curious, and from the OP's fathers shifty behaviour, im not surprised that they were! Itd eat me up if i knew something was happening that seemed very important and potentially bad. Parents try and protect their children: sometimes too much and they dont realise that their little babies have grown up and are able to deal with a difficult situation when presented.

This matter does concern the OP as they are related to somebody they didnt even know about; they should have the right to choose whether or not they have contact with their brother, and if the OP doesnt know in the first place because the parents keep it a secret, then they are being deprived of that right.


No it does not concern them what so ever. If a parent does not want to divulge a secret to a child then the child should respect that decision. There is no legal right to know about people you are possibly related to, if a parent does not want to talk about children from a previous relationship they are well within their rights to do that and keep it a secret. Looking through someone else's emails without their permission is actually a criminal offence.

If I had a child and found out they'd been snooping through my emails I'd ensure they were barred from accessing the family computer until such a time that they learned to have more respect for other peoples privacy.
Bit selfish to be honest, that you'd be angry at him not telling you.
Original post by Yawn11

Original post by Yawn11
Curiosity killed the cat.

I killed the cat,, because it's curiosity, led it to me.

Moral of the story is mind your own business.


Oh wow, you're just too funny and original. Oh wait, you're not and you just use recycled Jimmy Carr jokes. FAIL
Reply 26
Original post by sammynorton90

Original post by sammynorton90
Oh wow, you're just too funny and original. Oh wait, you're not and you just use recycled Jimmy Carr jokes. FAIL


:blush: I'm touched you thought that was a jimmy carr joke.
Original post by silverbolt
keep your nose out of things that dont concern you


I agree with this. Have you thought that even if something serious was happening to your older sister she may not have wanted you to know? How old are you? And I seriously doubt your parents have never lied to you - how would you know if they had?
Reply 28
Original post by -honeybee-
I agree with this. Have you thought that even if something serious was happening to your older sister she may not have wanted you to know? How old are you? And I seriously doubt your parents have never lied to you - how would you know if they had?


The fact that I thought something was seriously wrong with her or somebody was why I checked the email- my parents never hide anything usually. I'm 19. Ok saying that they've never lied to us was wrong, it's not exactly what I meant, I meant more that when things have happened before, like a relative being ill or something, they've always been honest with us about how serious it is and haven't hidden it. I thought if they were hiding something it must be really bad.
Original post by Anonymous
The fact that I thought something was seriously wrong with her or somebody was why I checked the email- my parents never hide anything usually. I'm 19. Ok saying that they've never lied to us was wrong, it's not exactly what I meant, I meant more that when things have happened before, like a relative being ill or something, they've always been honest with us about how serious it is and haven't hidden it. I thought if they were hiding something it must be really bad.


Checking their e-mail suggest that you don't believe your parents were acting in your best interests and that you think you have some kind of right to be told everything that occurs in their lives. You have also broken their trust in you by reading their e-mails, if they find out I don't think you can rely on them to be as open with you in the future. As another poster said, if a child of mine read my e-mails I would be furious. Have your parents done anything in the past to suggest that they wouldn't be doing the right thing for you all now? I'm quite surprised you're 19, I was expecting you to be a lot younger. Your parents will likely tell you when they are ready, until then I think you should keep this to yourself. Does your mother even know about the secret child? That is something to consider...
Reply 30
Original post by -honeybee-
Checking their e-mail suggest that you don't believe your parents were acting in your best interests and that you think you have some kind of right to be told everything that occurs in their lives. You have also broken their trust in you by reading their e-mails, if they find out I don't think you can rely on them to be as open with you in the future. As another poster said, if a child of mine read my e-mails I would be furious. Have your parents done anything in the past to suggest that they wouldn't be doing the right thing for you all now? I'm quite surprised you're 19, I was expecting you to be a lot younger. Your parents will likely tell you when they are ready, until then I think you should keep this to yourself. Does your mother even know about the secret child? That is something to consider...


I don't believe I have a god given right to know everything in their lives; I have never ever snooped through any of their stuff before, and nor will I do it again (I have learnt the hard way). My concern over what could be going on led me to check the emails. It was a mistake, I will admit it, and I don't need reminding of it, by everyone.
My mother does know about the child.
And Yes I am 19, the whole email thing was immature of me.

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